28 May, 2022

Annoying guy in office being sent to Victoria on ‘Special Assignment’ at 3:20 Tuesday

Following this morning’s ‘emergency meeting’ of the Management, Leadership and Everybody Except Jason Team, the office’s most annoying staff, Jason, is being sent on a special assignment to Victoria late on Tuesday afternoon.

The marketing coordinator, who is known around the office as ‘that guy who always bugs me to be in the footy tips every year’ has been given a USB drive with three Word documents to transport to Melbourne.

The total size of the files is 216 kilobytes, however, Jason was told that the files could only be safely delivered by hand.

Can you believe it? After twelve years I think I’ve cracked them, I’ve finally been accepted by the team.

‘I couldn’t believe my luck!’, Jason Spurklent told Adelaide Mail.

‘I never get to be involved with anything like this. The MLEEJ team came out of their little meeting this morning and said that they’ve got a very important job for me to undertake. And they want me to be the man for the job! Me! They still wouldn’t tell me what MLEEJ stands for, though.’

‘Can you believe it? After twelve years I think I’ve cracked them, I’ve finally been accepted by the team. Next step is getting a key to the boardroom where they hold Friday night drinks.’

‘They told me that you have to be working here for at least 10 years before you get an invitation to Friday night drinks, but I still haven’t heard back. As far as I know, only old Terry and Greg the cleaner have been here for long enough. Still they sound like they have a hell of a time every Friday. They make the noise of about 30 people, too! Man, I’d sure love to party on a Friday night with Terry and Greg.’

‘I don’t know where everyone else goes on a Friday arvo, though. Must knock off early, lazy sods. Can’t make friends if you’re not even in the office…idiots.’

Jason will leave on a flight to Melbourne no earlier than 3:20pm on Tuesday afternoon.

Tags: in Life, News
Related Posts

Police QR code blitz enabling that one high school mate to go full Pete Evans-mode on Facebook

17 May, 2021

17 May, 2021

TRENT BARTLETT When South Australian Police stopped Con Spiros just inside the door of Adelaide’s classiest venue, the Skycity Casino,...

Showy Reynella family splash out on leather recliner for front porch

11 February, 2019

11 February, 2019

For as long as the Tonstelhans have lived on Highercombe Street in Reynella they have been trying to out-do their...

All South Australian citizens are legally entitled to a portrait of Johnny Haysman

13 August, 2018

13 August, 2018

Johnny Haysman is arguably the most loved person in South Australia, if not the world. It’s said that he owns...

Adelaide Mail’s Greatest SA Jingle Ever!

25 April, 2020

25 April, 2020 1

We need to settle this once-and-for-all: what is South Australia’s greatest ever jingle? We’re torn in all directions, between car...

Behold! The Garden of Unearthly Awkward Stop and Chats

19 February, 2020

19 February, 2020

MATTHEW DEVITT Despite the highest of expectations, one Gepps Cross man’s foray into the Garden of Unearthly Delights has degenerated...

Exhumation of Somerton Man reveals hundreds of awful new true crime podcasts

19 May, 2021

19 May, 2021 2

Today in West Terrace cemetery, detectives with nothing better to do with their time will pull a dead man’s remains...

Stobie pole “probably a Banksy” says Croydon mum

8 November, 2018

8 November, 2018

Fiona Foarzenshore fancies her home suburb of Croydon as something of a cultural hub in Adelaide’s inner west, and has...

“Never doubted ‘em” says Crows fan who chopped up membership after his seats were moved for 2021

20 March, 2021

20 March, 2021

TRENT BARTLETT Former Adelaide Football Club member Jesper Cantankeron maintains that his faith in his footy club never wavered, despite...

Local livestreamed gigs to be replaced with livestreamed pokie rooms

8 April, 2020

8 April, 2020

With the coronavirus shutting down the city’s remaining live music venues, bands have begun turning to the internet to live...

Wayne Weidemann’s glorious mullet immortalised in bronze statue

11 September, 2019

11 September, 2019

Never a city to be outdone by Melbourne, today Adelaide unveiled it’s very own bronze statue in response to Tayla...

Victor Harbor shops sell out of loaves of bread and sunscreen for some reason

24 November, 2018

24 November, 2018

In a bizarre, localised spike in demand not seen in over eleven months, Victor Harbor shops are quickly selling out...

If quarantined, please listen to the other hundred Adelaide Crows podcasts instead of making your own

20 March, 2020

20 March, 2020

As working in isolation and two-week quarantines become commonplace for many South Australians, a high proportion of 20 and 30...

Maybe let’s also discuss changing the name of “Blackfellows Creek”

26 January, 2020

26 January, 2020

With discussions of changing the date of Australia Day firing up once again, some South Australians are focusing their energy...

Man successfully connects to AdelaideFree wifi network

5 November, 2018

5 November, 2018

In what has been described as a once in a lifetime technological phenomenon, city worker Simon Line has defied astronomical...

All 17 South Australian rugby fans very excited

4 November, 2020

4 November, 2020

DAN SCHMIDT Ahead of tonight’s opening State of Origin (it’s for some sport called rugby, we checked) game tonight, the...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: