26 January, 2020 South Australia's other fake news source

Power fan with ‘Est. 1870’ tattoo tells Crows fan to ‘stop living in past’

Dan Schmidt

Albert Tonne is one of those ‘passionate’ Port Power fans, he attends most Power home games (unless it’s a little cloudy or the match will be televised), has several Port Adelaide tattoos, and can’t speak a sentence without mentioning the word ‘history’ (despite PAFC not being the oldest football club in South Australia).

The Power’s season off to a fantastic start with their first home game attendance filling a whopping 76% of Adelaide Oval’s capacity, and the Crows being in very poor form, Albert has certainly been on his high-horse this week.

‘Historically, we’ve always started seasons well’, stated an unprompted Albert ‘you just have to know a little bit about our history to know that, but these bloody Cows fans don’t know nothing about what history means to a club’.

If you know anything about history, they’ve won pretty much every flag for the last 500 years or so

Albert continued, to nobody in particular, ‘we’ve won the first two games, then some Crows yobbo on twitter says “early days, mate”, so I’m like “yeah, we know all about early days, our club has been around since the early days of time, learn some history!”, put him right back in his place’.

‘Then he brings up their premierships and regular finals appearances, and I’m like “I’m talking about this season, your team is playing terribly!” Seriously, these Crows fans need to stop living in the past and also learn some history’.

When quizzed about the SANFL Port Adelaide Football Club, Albert replied ‘yeah, obviously I’m a huge supporter of that club, because of their history and heritage. Just don’t ask me to name any players, know who the coach is, or how they’re performing without giving me access to Google first. They probably won the SANFL flag last year, because if you know anything about history, they’ve won pretty much every flag for the last 500 years or so’.

in News, Sport
Related Posts

Office worker finds any excuse to tell you that she did City To Bay

16 September, 2019

16 September, 2019

You don’t typically see Sarah from marketing at the office before 9am at best. And to see her away from...

Playford resident quickly finds out why House & Land package was so cheap

8 October, 2018

8 October, 2018

Finally deciding to bite the bullet of home ownership, Mel Ashton, 29, of Smithfield, felt she could not go past...

Girl lasts until 2nd winery pretending to care about tasting wine

27 January, 2019

27 January, 2019

Brooke Dogtram likes to think that wine tours are about more than just getting day-drunk for a nominal fee of...

International musician moves back to Adelaide to start boutique counterfeit winery

20 August, 2019

20 August, 2019

Rumours have it that US singer-songwriter and previous Adelaide resident Ben Folds is heading back to South Australia for a...

Adelaide Uni law student disappoints family of doctors

24 April, 2019

24 April, 2019

Sometimes having the best opportunities in life does not necessarily lead to fulfilling every expectation. Few things illuminate this concept...

South Australian corrects interstate friend on her pronunciation again

19 February, 2019

19 February, 2019

In what is fast becoming a deal-breaker amongst new Victorian friends and colleagues of South Australian Shelly Fischer, the freshly-migrated...

Dad starts saving good Pageant spot now

24 October, 2019

24 October, 2019

With less than three weeks until the 2019 Christmas Pageant kicks off, father of three, Doug Float, is dedicated to...

Courteous paperboy throws Messenger right next to recycle bin

13 September, 2018

13 September, 2018

Loading up the milkcrate strapped to the front of his BMX each Wednesday after school, Jackson DeGoris prepares for his...

OG Road shot in drive-by

20 May, 2019

20 May, 2019

Living up to its name, OG road of Klemzig has been attacked in what is believed to be a drug-fueled...

New RAH carpark awarded Adelaide’s most challenging escape room

18 January, 2019

18 January, 2019

Escape rooms have rapidly become all the rage with teenagers, lame corporate offices, and small groups of weird tight-knit friends...

Haigh's prepare store for influx of Greeks this week

23 April, 2019

23 April, 2019

With the traditional Christian-Easter done and dusted and most of Adelaide in a pre-diabetic state, iconic chocolatiers Haigh’s have undertaken...

Man plays quick 9 at Holey Moley before last year’s gift card expires

24 December, 2019

24 December, 2019

A Somerton Park man has knocked off work early in a frantic rush to get to novelty mini golf course...

Election announced: Someone in Mt Barker orders 1,000 novelty cheques

11 April, 2019

11 April, 2019

Following the announcement from acting Prime Minister Scott Morrison that Australians will go to the polls on May 18th, somebody...

Greenhills Adventure Park equipment repurposed for new 'Greenhill Road Adventure Park'

1 February, 2019

1 February, 2019

After closing over two years ago, Victor Harbor’s biggest attraction and insurance liability Greenhills Adventure Park will have a new...

Turns out Christies Beach sludge spill just rejected Caleb Bond articles

13 November, 2018

13 November, 2018

A break-in at the Christies Beach sewage treatment plant has seen the nearby beach closed for a stretch of 200...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: