15 January, 2021 South Australia's other fake news source

Power fan with ‘Est. 1870’ tattoo tells Crows fan to ‘stop living in past’

Albert Tonne is one of those ‘passionate’ Port Power fans, he attends most Power home games (unless it’s a little cloudy or the match will be televised), has several Port Adelaide tattoos, and can’t speak a sentence without mentioning the word ‘history’ (despite PAFC not being the oldest football club in South Australia).

The Power’s season off to a fantastic start with their first home game attendance filling a whopping 76% of Adelaide Oval’s capacity, and the Crows being in very poor form, Albert has certainly been on his high-horse this week.

‘Historically, we’ve always started seasons well’, stated an unprompted Albert ‘you just have to know a little bit about our history to know that, but these bloody Cows fans don’t know nothing about what history means to a club’.

If you know anything about history, they’ve won pretty much every flag for the last 500 years or so

Albert continued, to nobody in particular, ‘we’ve won the first two games, then some Crows yobbo on twitter says “early days, mate”, so I’m like “yeah, we know all about early days, our club has been around since the early days of time, learn some history!”, put him right back in his place’.

‘Then he brings up their premierships and regular finals appearances, and I’m like “I’m talking about this season, your team is playing terribly!” Seriously, these Crows fans need to stop living in the past and also learn some history’.

When quizzed about the SANFL Port Adelaide Football Club, Albert replied ‘yeah, obviously I’m a huge supporter of that club, because of their history and heritage. Just don’t ask me to name any players, know who the coach is, or how they’re performing without giving me access to Google first. They probably won the SANFL flag last year, because if you know anything about history, they’ve won pretty much every flag for the last 500 years or so’.

in News, Sport
Related Posts

Keith Conlon announced as new drummer for I Killed The Prom Queen

27 November, 2018

27 November, 2018

In a bold new move by Adelaide’s metalcore kings I Killed The Prom Queen, the announcement of veteran radio broadcaster...

“Stop all these bloody Adelaide city highrises” says Willunga resident

1 August, 2018

1 August, 2018

Gerald Manser, 62, of Willunga has had enough of CBD development. On his yearly trip to the city for a...

Dad unnecessarily angry about how safe St. Kilda Playground is these days

11 June, 2020

11 June, 2020

Tired of enclosed trampolines, anti-bullying campaigns and gluten intolerances, distant father of six Darren Dedbeit decided to take the kids...

90s Toyota Commercial still killing it at every SA Caravan Park

29 November, 2019

29 November, 2019

The 20th annual Caravan Recreation Area Park comedy awards were held at Lake Bonney last weekend, with one classic comedy...

Man successfully connects to AdelaideFree wifi network

5 November, 2018

5 November, 2018

In what has been described as a once in a lifetime technological phenomenon, city worker Simon Line has defied astronomical...

Courteous paperboy throws Messenger right next to recycle bin

13 September, 2018

13 September, 2018

Loading up the milkcrate strapped to the front of his BMX each Wednesday after school, Jackson DeGoris prepares for his...

Magic Cave now just a ‘Magic 3 x 4 metre room’

19 November, 2018

19 November, 2018

Budget cuts and declining sponsors have hit the Magic Cave hard this year, with Santa and his entire grotto allocated...

Adelaide Crows Aquatic Centre will abolish Pike Position

12 December, 2019

12 December, 2019

With the Adelaide Crows Aquatic Centre HQ looking to go ahead sometime in the near future because they’re the Crows...

Wayne Weidemann’s glorious mullet immortalised in bronze statue

11 September, 2019

11 September, 2019

Never a city to be outdone by Melbourne, today Adelaide unveiled it’s very own bronze statue in response to Tayla...

Save big with your SAFM 107 Card at these places today!

27 March, 2019

27 March, 2019

Here at Adelaide Mail, we’ve got some pretty powerful friends in high places, which means our proverbial fingers are on...

Big Red Car mag wheels stolen at Elizabeth City Centre

31 October, 2018

31 October, 2018

Disappointed children and slightly relieved parents have arrived at Elizabeth Shopping Centre to find the multi-coloured mag wheels stolen from...

Modbury High graduate furious at suggestion she went to Modbury Heights

15 April, 2019

15 April, 2019

It’s been over 15 years since Kelly S. Farm graduated high school to pursue a sticky-tape tester apprenticeship, but there...

Power fans start pretending they always follow SANFL

20 September, 2019

20 September, 2019

With the Port Adelaide Magpies facing off against Glenelg in the SANFL Grand Final this weekend, Port Power fans will...

Business who still hasn’t added 8 to phone number probably shonky

18 October, 2019

18 October, 2019

A television and VCR repair shop on Goodwood Road in Adelaide’s inner south is staring the wind of change in...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: