27 January, 2021 South Australia's other fake news source

Limited edition Womenz FruChocs released for International Women’s Day

MATT FREEMAN

Menz Confectionery have released a special limited edition run of their much beloved FruChocs for International Women’s Day on March 8.

The Womenz FruChocs, will be released to raise funds for various local women’s charities, particularly those researching the link between pregestational diabetes and the over-consumption of chocolate products.

However,  this decision has already been met with some controversial claims, with recently sacked marketing manager of menz confectionery, Zara Combez saying ‘This was about 78 percent my idea before I was sacked and was stolen by a man’.

Menz rights’ activist Guy Mann* had an even more controversial response to the release of Womenz FruChocs, stating on facebook ‘It’s us men that are bearing the cost of this political correctness. They probably got some government grant to pay for it all, and it’s us men that pay way more taxes for these things because we earn so much more than women. Anyway, I’ll show them, I’m refusing to buy any of them and will eat regular menz FruChocs all International Women’s Day in protest’.

However, it’s not all bad news, with supplies of Womenz FruChocs already low or non-existent at most retailers, due to local men like Darren Totes-Clueless throwing their support behind the concept, ‘I spent two days on the road trying to get a big enough supply for me and the missus to eat on International Women’s Day. I’m sure she’ll appreciate my effort, ‘cos it shows like that I respect stuff chicks do’.

His wife, Sharralanda said ‘I guess he’s trying, but when he didn’t come home one night because he was out shopping for FruChocs I was pretty worried. Also, it was bin night and the green bin was really heavy after I mowed the lawns when I got home from work, and my obstetrician said I shouldn’t be lifting heavy objects now that I’ve hit the eight month mark. But I’ll get to eat a few mid-range chocolates on Sunday I guess, if he hasn’t eaten them all beforehand’.

He will.

*Our investigative journalists can reveal that his real name is actually Val Flowers

Editor’s note: If anyone from menz sees this, we’d love for you to use the idea and donate proceeds to a worthy women’s charity.

Related Posts

“Yeah that counts as a bath” says dad who has clearly given up for the year

22 December, 2019

22 December, 2019

In what was initially meant to just be letting the kids “dip their feet in” the water play area of...

Adelaide Mail calendars just 12 pictures of Tea Tree Plaza done in MS Paint

23 October, 2020

23 October, 2020

Because we haven’t figured out how to put an annoying paywall on this site and our website domain renewal is...

Norwood cafe Argo to begin taking bookings for those who just want to line up

24 October, 2018

24 October, 2018

In a move described by industry experts as ‘revolutionary’, the popular eastern suburbs brunch spot Argo is to begin taking...

Salisbury mum returns to OTR to buy carton of ciggies with wheelbarrow full of shrapnel

5 January, 2019

5 January, 2019

After reportedly being denied being able to buy milk and bread with a few fifty cents pieces, the single mother...

Adelaide Oval Christmas Pageant limited to only 25,000 bagpipers

22 September, 2020

22 September, 2020

A 90 percent reduction on previous years.

Peter Van’s to close; Advertiser wonders how many more times it can use phrase “Party’s over”

24 January, 2020

24 January, 2020

As news emerged that Adelaide’s resident Party Man, Peter Van will be ceasing all partying come March, subeditors at satirical...

Local pisshead really enjoying this ‘Dry July’ so far

3 July, 2019

3 July, 2019

Regency Park resident and drunkard Al Koholic has had a fantastic, albeit technically wrong, start to the popular ‘Dry July’ campaign. ‘When...

Next election, let’s just all vote for Cosi and see what happens

24 May, 2019

24 May, 2019

With the Federal Election over and not a great deal changing, aside from increased health-care costs for the poor, many...

Advertiser censors front page advertisement

21 October, 2019

21 October, 2019

Putting up a united front against secrecy and journalistic censorship, South Australia’s leading satirical news service has joined multiple papers...

Township of Gawler produces another tradie

20 June, 2019

20 June, 2019

After committing hundreds of man-hours and thousands of dollars to a town-wide search, the northern Adelaide township of Gawler has...

South Australian banned from returning to Adelaide from Victoria Square

31 July, 2020

31 July, 2020

Alrighty. Strap yourselves in readers, because with a headline like that, this is surely going to be a pretty poor...

12-year-old Goolwa resident VERY happy with his latest artwork

29 September, 2020

29 September, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT It was a fleeting moment of inspiration that struck 12-year-old Pervis Persimmon on his Sunday afternoon walk past...

Desperate $5 Fringe show now accepting AfterPay

13 March, 2019

13 March, 2019

Photo credit: Abi Skipp Following several weeks of lower-than-expected ticket sales, the Garden of Unearthly Delights’ cheapest ticketed show — The...

Burnside girl with SACA membership actually spends 20 minutes watching the cricket

6 December, 2018

6 December, 2018

The Adelaide test match is renowned for its festive atmosphere, beautiful scenery and the heritage ground, but for many the...

REVEALED: Dumpling King not even really royalty

11 November, 2019

11 November, 2019

As part of Adelaide Mail’s “you should know this” investigative journalism article series, where we expose secrets from around South...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: