5 April, 2020 South Australia's other fake news source

Limited edition Womenz FruChocs released for International Women’s Day

MATT FREEMAN

Menz Confectionery have released a special limited edition run of their much beloved FruChocs for International Women’s Day on March 8.

The Womenz FruChocs, will be released to raise funds for various local women’s charities, particularly those researching the link between pregestational diabetes and the over-consumption of chocolate products.

However,  this decision has already been met with some controversial claims, with recently sacked marketing manager of menz confectionery, Zara Combez saying ‘This was about 78 percent my idea before I was sacked and was stolen by a man’.

Menz rights’ activist Guy Mann* had an even more controversial response to the release of Womenz FruChocs, stating on facebook ‘It’s us men that are bearing the cost of this political correctness. They probably got some government grant to pay for it all, and it’s us men that pay way more taxes for these things because we earn so much more than women. Anyway, I’ll show them, I’m refusing to buy any of them and will eat regular menz FruChocs all International Women’s Day in protest’.

However, it’s not all bad news, with supplies of Womenz FruChocs already low or non-existent at most retailers, due to local men like Darren Totes-Clueless throwing their support behind the concept, ‘I spent two days on the road trying to get a big enough supply for me and the missus to eat on International Women’s Day. I’m sure she’ll appreciate my effort, ‘cos it shows like that I respect stuff chicks do’.

His wife, Sharralanda said ‘I guess he’s trying, but when he didn’t come home one night because he was out shopping for FruChocs I was pretty worried. Also, it was bin night and the green bin was really heavy after I mowed the lawns when I got home from work, and my obstetrician said I shouldn’t be lifting heavy objects now that I’ve hit the eight month mark. But I’ll get to eat a few mid-range chocolates on Sunday I guess, if he hasn’t eaten them all beforehand’.

He will.

*Our investigative journalists can reveal that his real name is actually Val Flowers

Editor’s note: If anyone from menz sees this, we’d love for you to use the idea and donate proceeds to a worthy women’s charity.

Related Posts

Old mate looking for roast buffet ends up at new CBD hospital

30 January, 2020

30 January, 2020

An event that can only be described as “not newsworthy at all” (even for Adelaide Mail standards) occured in the...

Mental health advocate lodges complaint over use of ‘Mad March’

5 March, 2019

5 March, 2019

In an unsurprising turn of events, a university academic with too much time on his hands over the summer break...

“SA wind farms to blame for Murray-Darling crisis, probably” – Morrison

14 January, 2019

14 January, 2019

Stand-in Prime Minister Scott Morrison has lobbed the political football squarely toward South Australia’s wind farms for the growing Murray-Darling...

REVEALED: Dumpling King not even really royalty

11 November, 2019

11 November, 2019

As part of Adelaide Mail’s “you should know this” investigative journalism article series, where we expose secrets from around South...

Local hip-hop trio find religion, rename themselves ‘Hillsong Hoods’

29 May, 2019

29 May, 2019

In a move that has shocked the hip-hop community, Adelaide’s most influential hip-hop group, Hilltop Hoods, have announced a change...

Lucindale starts with the clingy texts after a one night stand

17 September, 2019

17 September, 2019

As the dust settles in the usually quiet town in our State’s South-East and life starts to return to normal,...

Victor Harbor shops sell out of loaves of bread and sunscreen for some reason

24 November, 2018

24 November, 2018

In a bizarre, localised spike in demand not seen in over eleven months, Victor Harbor shops are quickly selling out...

SA Space Agency aims to explore Planet Nightclub

9 October, 2019

9 October, 2019

Since the establishement of South Australian Space Industry Centre, one strategic plan of the agency has been more important than...

OTR already putting up signage on North East Road Holden dealership

26 February, 2020

26 February, 2020

With the news of Holden exiting the Australian market breaking, our petroleum and tobacco overlords have decided that they may...

Addicts reduced to drinking Dare as iced coffee shortage hits

16 April, 2019

16 April, 2019

With the state in the midst of a regional Farmers Union Iced Coffee shortage, scores of heavily-addicted South Australians have...

Old Le Cornu site to become new Swedish Furniture store ‘De Körneu’

22 May, 2019

22 May, 2019

The Adelaide City Council has made the announcement of what will finally be done with the ever controversial old Le...

Unique SA strain of virus now being found in Victoria

15 March, 2020

15 March, 2020

DIRK SPUD In worrying signs that we may be reaching a point of no return when it comes to its...

Gran no longer needs to save her dollar coins for “laundry”

27 September, 2019

27 September, 2019

For the past twenty years grandmother Judice Freespins has been known to save every dollar coin she comes across for her...

SA tells WA ‘Only we have the skills to maintain problem-riddled subs’

13 August, 2019

13 August, 2019

With Western Australia circling Adelaide’s lucrative Collins Class Submarine maintenance contract, SA’s western counterparts have been told to ‘Back off,...

International musician moves back to Adelaide to start boutique counterfeit winery

20 August, 2019

20 August, 2019

Rumours have it that US singer-songwriter and previous Adelaide resident Ben Folds is heading back to South Australia for a...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: