28 May, 2022

State Liberals sign sponsorship deal with Dulux in attempt to whitewash their reputation

With their reputation already facing questions thanks to former Liberal MP Sam ‘Wandering Hands’ Duluk, the South Australian Liberal Party has looked to Australia’s most trusted paint brand in an effort to re-build trust with the South Australian voting public.

The deal with Dulux Paints is said to be costing the Libs over $150 million, an unusual arrangement for a brand sponsorship agreement, which typically involves brands making payments to increase the visibility of their brands by aligning themselves with other trusted entities.

We’ve obviously got this Sam fellow to deal with first. We’re thinking a nice neutral white, God knows the Liberal party could do with some neutrals!

The forecast of over $100 million in net damage to the Dulux brand has seen the paint company net themselves a decent profit.

‘We really didn’t want to get involved with such a dodgy sounding organisation’, says Mixmaster Mark Dulux’s head of Marketing and That Weekend Paint Counter Attendant At Bunnings That We Can Never Seem To Find When We Need Him.

‘But they put a very handsome sum of money on the table, plus the pun works quite nicely and that’s pretty much all you need for a half-arse gag on social media nowadays, right, Adelaide Mail?’

‘We’ve obviously got this Sam fellow to deal with first. We’re thinking a nice neutral white, God knows the Liberal party could do with some neutrals! Colours, that is. Goes very well with the rich greens of the lower house’.

‘We do have a beautiful complementary shade of green that we wanted to use, but that’s called “Deep Rift”, and I think we’ve got plenty of that in the party, right now’.

Owners of Dulux, Nippon Paint shed about 50% of their listed stock value following the announcement of the sponsorship deal.

Related Posts

COMPROMISE FOUND: SA Govt to install new tram that ONLY turns right

20 November, 2018

20 November, 2018

After months of deliberation, studies and costings, Transport Minister Stephan Knoll announced on Sunday that the right-hand turn for trams...

Kid who asked for “Leggo” getting a jar of pasta sauce from South Aussie Santa

10 November, 2020

10 November, 2020

As November begins it means that our department stores and suburban shops are soon to be filled with Santas (actually,...

Maslin Beach declared as exposure site (but has nothing to do with COVID-19)

21 July, 2021

21 July, 2021

With the list of local COVID-19 exposure sites growing quicker than that bloke behind the bushes, another has been added...

Dover Gardens man with a cold ends up in taxi to Novar Gardens

14 October, 2019

14 October, 2019

After leaving after-work Friday drinks in the city early because they were feeling a little under the weather, Al Lurgey...

Lost child at WOMADelaide probably better off to be honest

6 March, 2020

6 March, 2020

As South Australia’s leading world-music and body-odour festival goes on this weekend, a six year old child has been found...

Valley Butchers unsure why anybody would be offended by new sign

18 September, 2019

18 September, 2019

An Adelaide butcher who was found to have breached advertising standards by displaying a sign that read ‘Non Halal Certified’...

Dog & Duck social media guy fucking nails it, yet again

3 January, 2020

3 January, 2020

While most businesses are finding it harder and harder to have their voice heard on social media, Adelaide nightclub Dog...

You WON’T BELIEVE what Kane Cornes said on SEN 1629AM! Mainly because of all the static

11 December, 2020

11 December, 2020

He’s done it again, folks. South Australia’s king of controversy and 2020’s Best and Fairest Servo Sandwich Hawker has made...

“R U OK? Day” followed up with far less popular “R U OBAHN? Day”

11 September, 2020

11 September, 2020

In the wake of the extremely important R U OK? Day, a group of South Australian public transport enthusiasts has...

South Australian corrects interstate friend on her pronunciation again

19 February, 2019

19 February, 2019

In what is fast becoming a deal-breaker amongst new Victorian friends and colleagues of South Australian Shelly Fischer, the freshly-migrated...

“Yeah that counts as a bath” says dad who has clearly given up for the year

22 December, 2019

22 December, 2019

In what was initially meant to just be letting the kids “dip their feet in” the water play area of...

Rob Lucas thanks Tammy from MyBudget for her assistance this week

5 September, 2018

5 September, 2018

Preparing his first budget in over 17 years, Treasurer Lucas wasn’t really sure where to start. ‘Yeah, it was a...

Mum comments “shared 5162” like her 27 Facebook friends cover all of Morphett Vale

2 October, 2020

2 October, 2020

A Morphett Vale Facebook mum has been hailed as a hero after letting people know she has shared a Facebook...

Now here’s something we don’t mind Victoria stealing from SA

6 November, 2019

6 November, 2019

News has broken on several less reputable news-sites that failed Mayo candidate and novelty cheque aficionado Georgina Downer will be...

2003 Seaford High graduate wears Year 12 jumper to commemorate the year he peaked

8 June, 2018

8 June, 2018

As he once again donned the faded maroon sweatshirt for a trip to the shops, Ryan Govern, 33, reminisced about...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: