25 June, 2022

Posh Spice changes name to Adelaide Beckham

MATT FREEMAN

In another win for South Australia over the Vics, former Spice Girl, Victoria Beckham, better known as Posh Spice (or is it the other way around?) has changed her name to Adelaide Beckham. The former pop singer and now fashion designer has made this brave and wise decision as she rightly doesn’t want to be associated with Australia’s coronavirus capital in any way.

Speaking to her via Zoom with probably a thousand Chinese hackers watching she explained why she changed her name and that it just wasn’t about herself, but it was also a wellness decision for her whole family.

‘Yeah you know, like I wanted to keep that touch of class and stuff, so like changed it to anuver queen, but one that wouldn’t give me and the kids the covid’ said Beckham.

It’s not widely known but neither Victoria Beckham* or Posh Spice was her birth name, it was in fact Sharlene Crudplop as Beckham explained, ‘Like it’s funny you know, when I got into the Spice Girls, I didn’t just get my Spice name but I got paid by a sponsor to change my real name because the record company said Sharlene Crudplop wasn’t sexy or somefing, so it was changed to Victoria Bitter Adams. I’m not sure who they are, but they gave me some of their stuff and it smelt pretty rank, so I fink it was some kind of industrial cleaner’.

Beckham added ‘When we toured Oz, we heard lots of people say they hated VB, so it must mean somefing pretty bad, and there’s no way AB could mean anyfing bad in Adelaide’.

*Yeah we know it’s her married name, stop thinking you’re clever spotting an error. None of our readers are clever, and neither are our writers.

Related Posts

Rundle Mall buskers now allowed to expand their repertoire beyond Leonard Cohen’s ‘Hallelujah’

17 December, 2018

17 December, 2018

In a controversial move, the Adelaide City Council has agreed to a trial period where buskers can perform songs that...

Victorians stowed away on train raise suspicion when they try to get off at Chidda

15 July, 2020

15 July, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT Four Victorians have raised the suspicions of fellow passengers when they attempted to alight at the mythical Chidda...

Report: Albert Bensimon actually enjoyed a little bit of hoo-ha

19 December, 2018

19 December, 2018

MATTHEW DEVITT Despite his self-anointed reputation as a serious, no-nonsense jewellery magnate, the Adelaide Mail can finally reveal that Albert...

Satirical news site runs out of TV commercials to rank, now completely out of ideas

29 May, 2020

29 May, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT South Australia’s second favourite source of fake news has been revealed for the sham that it is, with...

Bazza the Bunyip statue becomes target of protesters for his “complicity in colonising Murray”

25 June, 2020

25 June, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT Murray Bridge’s monument to the mythical Murray River creature Bazza the Bunyip has become the latest statue to...

Casual Crows fan unsure if he’s supposed to love or hate Tex this week

3 June, 2019

3 June, 2019

With his form flip-flopping since the 2017 AFL Grand Final, Adelaide co-captain Taylor Walker has been the cause of much...

Next election, let’s just all vote for Cosi and see what happens

24 May, 2019

24 May, 2019

With the Federal Election over and not a great deal changing, aside from increased health-care costs for the poor, many...

Plans for Adelaide Hills Theme Park ‘Magic Mount Lofty’ announced

22 March, 2019

22 March, 2019

The Adelaide Hills Council have announced development plans for a ‘new’ theme park at the state’s most popular hiking destination...

Premier announces, then promptly cancels, Adelaide’s new “Everything Is Cancelled” Festival

6 November, 2020

6 November, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT In-keeping with the (now surely understood to be ironic) title of Australia’s Best Events State, South Australia has...

‘You can’t pay off COVID fines using free drink cards’, Zhivago owners told

20 July, 2020

20 July, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT After copping thousands of dollars in fines for breaking COVID-19 restrictions, the owners of Zhivago have been told...

Send help. Stuck in traffic on way to Yorke’s. Running out of food. Tell wife I love her.

12 June, 2021

12 June, 2021

TRENT BARTLETT It’s been fourteen hours since we left home bound for Innes National Park. We thought that we were...

SA girl Cassie Sainsbury reportedly excited for upcoming “White Wedding”

19 November, 2021

19 November, 2021

TOM STEWART With news breaking yesterday that local girl Cassandra Sainsbury is engaged, it is reported she is now looking...

We rank Adelaide’s best TikTok stars

29 June, 2021

29 June, 2021

Whether they’re annoying shoppers while filming cringey shit in Rundle Mall or thinking their videos actually get that many views,...

FIVEaa now adds diversity to presenter lineup by hiring a half Italian guy

29 March, 2021

29 March, 2021

The overdue sacking of Jeremy Cordeaux, a silly little man who got drunk and then behind the wheel repeatedly, has...

Five fun things to do this weekend in…*checks sign*…GLENELP

12 November, 2021

12 November, 2021

GLENELP is apparently a small seaside city that very few locals know about. Unfamiliar even to Google Maps, which keeps...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: