7 September, 2026 South Australia's Other Fake News Source

Following Oz Comic-Con, Polites estate launch Oz Conic-Con, which is just a bunch of nerds dressing as Con Polites for 2 days

In a move that some are labelling as “crying out for litigation” and asbestos-adjacent,” the Polites family has launched new festival Oz Conic-Con. A two-day immersive fan experience where hundreds of nerds dress up as the late Adelaide property mogul Con Polites and argue about who gets to inherit the burnt-out shell of a former Laubman & Pank.

“Everyone always wanted to be Batman,” spokesperson for the Polites family Inheritino Conspiratoro told Adelaide Mail, “but this is for the kids who grew up idolising retail vacancies and bitter generational infighting.”

The event, to be held in the upper floor of the former Timezone Meridian on Hindley Street, will feature cosplay contests in categories including: “I Own This And It’s Leaking,” and “Technically Still Heritage”.

The showpiece of the convention is set to be an eight-hour scavenger hunt for working fire exits.

It is expected that relations between attendees will be “cordially tense” for the duration of Conic Con, with the event concluding with the ceremonial torching of a will delegating the assets from a multi-million dollar estate.

Related Posts

Every Polites building to be heritage listed in 2020

6 September, 2019

6 September, 2019

In a surprising move by the SA Heritage Listing Council, it has been deemed that each and every Polites building...

Sydney mate won’t shut up about the size of our pint glasses

31 January, 2019

31 January, 2019

In an act of mental gymnastics usually only displayed by whoever our current Prime Minister is, our mate Dan from...

Decade old Puratap filter probably fine

22 April, 2020

22 April, 2020

When Darren* and Amelia* (names changed to maintain anonymity) purchased their St. Clair property in 2010, little did they know...

Growing number of tobacco stores going un-firebombed thanks to fuel crisis

31 March, 2026

31 March, 2026

TRENT BARTLETT Concerned South Australians have begun speaking out about the unsettling trend of tobacco stores around the city and...

SA finally reveals REAL tourism ad asking people to: ‘Perform Cunnilingus In The Coonawarra’

24 May, 2021

24 May, 2021

TRENT BARTLETT Off the back of a popular April Fool’s Day prank calling on Aussies to Go Down South With...

Milo Kerrigan inducted into SA Sporting Hall of Fame

22 July, 2020

22 July, 2020

S-S-SOWWFORSTRAYLLEEYYAH: The SA Sporting Hall of Fame recognises sporting heroes that have helped shape South Australian culture and inspired our future...

LEAKED: Shortlist of Port Adelaide’s other proposed new logos

15 October, 2019

15 October, 2019

Following the unveiling of Port Adelaide Football Club’s new logo commemorating the club’s 23rd year anniversary, Adelaide Mail can reveal...

REVEALED: Seven Stars Hotel actually only has 4.3 star Google rating

7 November, 2019

7 November, 2019

As part of Adelaide Mail’s “you should know this” investigative journalism article series, where we expose secrets from around South Australia, today...

EXCLUSIVE: Turns out that worm from The Book Place was actually played by a giant tapeworm

10 July, 2020

10 July, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT Here’s a nostalgia hit for kids who grew up in the 90s, remember the Bookworm? He was that...

Study finds 97% of Medindie car crashes caused by drivers looking up Scotty’s kilt

28 March, 2019

28 March, 2019

The Road And Car Executive has released their most recent annual Medindie accident causation report, with some startling results. ‘There’s...

Ingenious Toolie crudely changes 13 to 18 on his Year 12 jumper

25 November, 2018

25 November, 2018

In a surprisingly genius move, particularly from a Modbury High graduate, 23 year old Sam ‘Zombie’ Zommers has pulled off...

Gran no longer needs to save her dollar coins for “laundry”

27 September, 2019

27 September, 2019

For the past twenty years grandmother Judice Freespins has been known to save every dollar coin she comes across for her...

To avoid confusion Walkleys / Sudholz / Darley / Newton / Penfold / St Bernards Road to get even more names

14 January, 2020

14 January, 2020

MATT FREEMAN Adelaide’s single stretch of road with more names than any other, Walkleys / Sudholz / Darley / Newton...

SEN raids Adelaide Mail’s discarded joke cupboard, steals idea for range of Kane Cornes merchandise

9 November, 2021

9 November, 2021

TRENT BARTLETT Winners of Australia’s Narrowest Broadcast Area Award two years running, SEN SA have released their very own range...

In hindsight, 16-page full-colour catalogues delivered to every SA house every 3 days probably wasn’t great for business

16 December, 2019

16 December, 2019

With the news breaking that iconic South Australian department store Harris Scarfe has been placed into voluntary administration, operators are...

Comments

Leave a Reply

Discover more from Adelaide Mail

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading