11 July, 2020 South Australia's other fake news source

Could’ve been more specific, say mates meeting at ‘Shit Norwood Cafe’

A pair of old friends who had arranged to catch up at ‘That shitty Italian place on The Parade’ are regretting being so vague with their plans and have so far been wandering from café to café for the past six hours in search of each other. 

With over four dozen venues fitting the pair’s exact description along an 800 metre stretch of The Parade, their chances of randomly stumbling across each other at the exact same time have been calculated by mathematicians as 1 in 960,000.

I just told my mate Rod “I’ll meet you at that shitty Italian joint” and he was like “yep, I know the exact one you’re talking about

Adelaide Mail happened to bump into one of the pair when we decided to ‘Give Buongiorno’s another try because it surely can’t be as bad as we remember’. Hans Bjelke was strolling out of the Italian café’s entrance when we saw him, phone battery depleted from trying to contact his mate (and also from having an iPhone that’s over 18 months old).

‘I just told my mate Rod “I’ll meet you at that shitty Italian joint” and he was like “yep, I know the exact one you’re talking about’, Bjelke told us as he squinted across the dining area at the Parade café mainstay.

‘You know, I’ve been trying to ask the staff here if they might have seen my mate, but it’s just so loud in here. I was screaming into the maître d’s face for about 20 minutes to no avail. I think I have hearing damage, but on the plus side, I got a free serve of white bread. So, you know…swings and roundabouts’.

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