23 October, 2026 South Australia's Other Fake News Source

Cyberbullying teens never okay…unless it’s Caleb Bond and it’s really funny

Cyberbullying is a cowardly act, which can be particularly harmful when aimed at teens.

However, in the wake of anti-bullying day, the Australian online-safety commissioner has made a single exception to the rule. ‘Obviously we want to stamp out the scourge of cyber-bullying wherever we can, however, we do feel that News Corp “Journalist” Caleb Bond is completely fair game. Nothing over the top, but when he starts banging along about how Islam causes falling property values, or how renewable energy is actually worse than racism or whatever, then please feel free to go at it’ stated the online-safety Commissioner.

Please, we urge you, if you are going to target Caleb, make sure it’s bloody funny

However Caleb, South Australia’s best Christopher Pyne impersonator 2014-2016 and columnist for the State’s leading satirical newspaper, seems to only rejoice from any taunts or jeers, as his fan-base of baby boomers and right-wing twitter bots expands.

‘It’s a cautious area, tread carefully’ noted the Commissioner ‘so please, we urge you, if you are going to target Caleb, make sure it’s bloody funny. Kathy Griffin did a rubbish job, he even made her tweet his header image, and we condemn her for this. Telling someone to top themselves is not funny, yelling obscenities at him on the bus is not funny, but getting suspended from twitter for calling him a ‘pocket square’, now THAT’s fair game’.

Editor’s note: If nothing else, he seems to at least be a pretty good sport about these things, here’s our finest work thus far.

 It’s a good tweet, Caleb.

Related Posts

Mall’s Balls beginning to sag with age

6 August, 2018

6 August, 2018

Since 1977 they have proudly been on display for all to see, but it appears time is catching up the...

Adelaide Uni law student disappoints family of doctors

24 April, 2019

24 April, 2019

Sometimes having the best opportunities in life does not necessarily lead to fulfilling every expectation. Few things illuminate this concept...

Local man optimistic 45th Bertie Beetle of the week will somehow taste better than the previous 44

16 September, 2025

16 September, 2025

In a bold display of misplaced hope and digestive resilience, local man Cole O’Pteran has declared that his 45th Bertie...

‘What’s Sydney got that Adelaide doesn’t?’ says man who can’t find job

15 July, 2019

15 July, 2019

Unemployed volleyball salesman and indiscriminately parochial South Australian Conrad Junkles is often leaping to the defence of his home state....

Surely selecting VICTORIA Park as a testing location was a deliberate low-key diss

5 August, 2020

5 August, 2020

Our state’s newest COVID-19 drive through testing station opened in Adelaide’s Victoria Park this morning, resulting in car queues of...

2003 Seaford High graduate wears Year 12 jumper to commemorate the year he peaked

8 June, 2018

8 June, 2018

As he once again donned the faded maroon sweatshirt for a trip to the shops, Ryan Govern, 33, reminisced about...

We don’t care about the AFL GF, we have something even better…the Northern Districts U12s finals

1 September, 2020

1 September, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT With the centrepiece of footy in Australia set to head north to Australia’s centre of footy, Brisbane, South...

Kevin Costner spotted in Ridgehaven filming Waterworld sequel

12 August, 2019

12 August, 2019

With Adelaide seemingly becoming a relatively budget-friendly locale for upcoming Hollywood flops, it has become apparent that Mortal Kombat isn’t...

Boomer at work despite flu to ensure he can insult vegan fest attendee

28 October, 2019

28 October, 2019

While Adelaide’s vegans may be recovering from a weekend spent at Rundle Park’s Vegan Festival, one local boomer has dashed...

Mix 102.3 accidentally goes 15 minutes without playing Smash Mouth

13 December, 2019

13 December, 2019

In an unfortunate series of mistakes that may cost Mix 102.3 in the year’s final round of radio ratings, the...

Dog & Duck social media guy fucking nails it, yet again

3 January, 2020

3 January, 2020

While most businesses are finding it harder and harder to have their voice heard on social media, Adelaide nightclub Dog...

6 Classic Adelaide Crows Moments We’ll Never, Ever, Ever, Ever Forget

15 November, 2021

15 November, 2021

MATTHEW DEVITT 1. The Toyota marketing department launches a football team Desperate to increase the fledgling sales of its 4-door...

Terrain must be heaps rough around all Adelaide’s private schools, hey?

2 June, 2023

2 June, 2023

Each morning and afternoon, a flock of Sports Utility Vehicles, Light Trucks, Jeeps and Dual Cab Utes with trays smaller...

Scottish town opens “South Aussie’s Motel” with giant statue of Darren Jarman

9 February, 2021

9 February, 2021

On the outskirts of Glasgow, the small Scottish town of McDundee has returned the South Australian reverence to Scotland with...

Comments
Leave a Reply

Discover more from Adelaide Mail

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading