28 October, 2020 South Australia's other fake news source

SA Liberal Party discovers crafty new way to make up for drop in GST revenue

Those paying attention to state treasurer Rob Lucas this week would have seen that he was largely unperturbed by the massive write-down in GST revenue headed South Australia’s way.

Adelaide Mail can now reveal exactly what was behind Rob’s cool-handed reaction to the massive amount of money being pulled out of the state coffers. Rob’s secret weapon. His unfair advantage. The ace in his proverbial hole.

We sat down with Rob Lucas’s policy advisor and password manager Dorothy Quintuple about what Rob has planned to make up for the shortfall.

The treasurer has listed SA Water for sale on Facebook Marketplace for $7.5 billion, citing that the organisation is in ‘Fair’ condition

‘We set Rob up with a Facebook account so that he would stop emailing us gifs of minions in bikinis with the subject line “This will brighten ur day”,’ Dorothy told us.

‘We thought it would be great, keep him occupied with those Aldi Mum groups, and arguing in the comments of Leon Byner posts. But we didn’t realise that he would discover Marketplace. Now he’s become obsessed with it. He’s already sold everything from the stationery cupboard and the tea room.’

‘He says it’s a “like a Trading Post newspaper that fits right in your briefcase” I didn’t bother asking him what he meant by that. Anyway, it wasn’t long before he discovered that he could advertise state-owned assets on there. He’s already listed SA Water for a few billion and I heard him talking about selling Glenelg earlier today.’

The treasurer has listed SA Water for sale on Facebook Marketplace for $7.5 billion, citing that the organisation is in ‘Fair’ condition although people may need a plumber to “fix a few leaky pipes around the place”.

Related Posts

Gawler line passenger set for great day after altercation-free commute

17 October, 2018

17 October, 2018

Startling footage has emerged from a security camera on-board an Adelaide-bound Gawler train this morning showing an entirely incident-free trip....

UniSA mature-aged student puts hand up again

28 May, 2018

28 May, 2018

eaking: 12 students from UniSA’s Magill campus are believed to have spent the last seven hours locked in a tutorial room after their course’s resident mature-aged student began raising her hand to quiz her tutor on a raft of trivial questions.

Christopher Pyne quits politics to spend more time doing what he loves

1 March, 2019

1 March, 2019

In a coup for Adelaide Mail readers, outgoing Federal Defence Minister Christopher Pyne has revealed what his plans are for...

Gran no longer needs to save her dollar coins for “laundry”

27 September, 2019

27 September, 2019

For the past twenty years grandmother Judice Freespins has been known to save every dollar coin she comes across for her...

Latest Georgina Downer anti-ALP advertisement seems legit

25 February, 2019

25 February, 2019

Despite the controversial first video starring a “concerned citizen” who just happened to be the previous State Director of the...

We rank Adelaide’s top (and only) 3 working digital Adelaide Metro signs

18 November, 2019

18 November, 2019

What was meant to be Adelaide Mail’s first barely readable, every item on a different page, advertisement clogged ‘Top 10 List’, has...

SA Dentists host annual Farmers Union Iced Coffee appreciation night

9 December, 2019

9 December, 2019

South Australia’s dentists gathered for their industry’s night of nights on Saturday night, with their annual Farmers Union Thanksgiving Dinner....

Rundle Mall spruiker seamlessly weaves passing chat into sales pitch

10 September, 2019

10 September, 2019

Rundle Mall spruiker Frank Ratta has once again shown why he was awarded ‘SA’s Most Tolerated Spruiker’ eleven years running....

Two die, one completes entire med degree queuing at Pt Elliot bakery

30 April, 2019

30 April, 2019

For the third time in as many years, wait times at a popular bakery in south coast retirement village Port...

10 things you never knew about the Myer Centre

26 April, 2020

26 April, 2020

MATTHEW DEVITT All of this madness at the moment has made us realise what’s really important to us: mostly-empty, multi-level...

All 17 South Australian rugby fans very excited

22 August, 2019

22 August, 2019

With the announcement that Adelaide Oval will host the State of Origin (it’s for some sport called rugby, we checked)...

REVEALED: Seven Stars Hotel actually only has 4.3 star Google rating

7 November, 2019

7 November, 2019

As part of Adelaide Mail’s “you should know this” investigative journalism article series, where we expose secrets from around South Australia, today...

Playford resident quickly finds out why House & Land package was so cheap

8 October, 2018

8 October, 2018

Finally deciding to bite the bullet of home ownership, Mel Ashton, 29, of Smithfield, felt she could not go past...

Haggle guy reckons he could still get a Caffe Primo meal for $9.90

5 July, 2019

5 July, 2019

Despite not having a $9.90 menu or the iconic South Australian television commercial for several years, there is one person...

Save big with your SAFM 107 Card at these places today!

27 March, 2019

27 March, 2019

Here at Adelaide Mail, we’ve got some pretty powerful friends in high places, which means our proverbial fingers are on...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: