29 September, 2022

Goolwa Line Electrified

DAN SCHMIDT

Whilst the SteamRanger Cockle Train has always been a reliable mode of public transport for Middleton residents commuting to their office jobs in the hustling metropolis of Port Elliot, commuters were shocked to find that the steam train had been made electric as of yesterday morning.

It appears that the major transport project was picked up by a Fleurieu Peninsula resident who, unsurprisingly, was hard of hearing and mistook ‘Gawler’ for ‘Goolwa’.

‘I think someone got their wires crossed’ said rail commuter Victor Harbor resident Elle Durley ‘And I mean that quite literally, some of the electrical wires touched each other and it messed up operations for a while. I ended up being late to my 4pm dinner at The Crown’.

However, aside from some early teething issues (we also mean that literally, multiple sets of dentures were found left on the carriage seats) commuters seem pleased with the changes.

‘It’s probably quieter’, said Elle ‘but to be honest I couldn’t notice the difference’.

Adelaide Mail reporters initially planned to take a test ride on the new electrified Goolwa line, but missed the train as they were lining up at Port Elliot Bakery during the long weekend. We will provide a full report of the train’s operations after we’ve got to the front of the line, which we estimate will be at some point in July 2023.

Related Posts

Oakbank Racing Club releases At-Home Horse Euthanasia Kit for those missing the Easter carnival

12 April, 2020

12 April, 2020

Organisers of the annual Oakbank Easter Carnival are looking at novel ways to give punters a way to enjoy all...

“Should have seen it coming” – Mr Bankrupt on his business’s bankruptcy

2 November, 2018

2 November, 2018

The saying goes that hindsight is twenty-twenty, and that rings true for nobody more than former Adelaide business tycoon Mr...

Hills Hoist and Cask Wine sales data significantly correlated for some unknown reason

27 August, 2018

27 August, 2018

Statisticians and data analysts have been left completely baffled at the strongly correlated sales data of two South Australian icons....

We rank Adelaide’s best TikTok stars

29 June, 2021

29 June, 2021

Whether they’re annoying shoppers while filming cringey shit in Rundle Mall or thinking their videos actually get that many views,...

Dangerfield tells tribunal Crows showed him “No Respect, No Respect At All”

23 March, 2021

23 March, 2021

As news breaks that Geelong Cats star Patrick Dangerfield will miss three AFL games for a careless hit on Adelaide’s...

Frewville Foodland security guard not really sure why he’s there either

6 July, 2018

6 July, 2018

Seven years since taking up the role, Derek Hughes has yet to chase, apprehend, or even caution a suspect person...

12-year-old Goolwa resident VERY happy with his latest artwork

29 September, 2020

29 September, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT It was a fleeting moment of inspiration that struck 12-year-old Pervis Persimmon on his Sunday afternoon walk past...

Ceduna resident extremely angry about Adelaide Park Lands development

9 April, 2019

9 April, 2019

Murat Thevenard of Ceduna is your average consumer of South Australia’s satirical newspaper, The Advertiser, he gets it delivered to...

We rank Adelaide’s top (and only) 3 working digital Adelaide Metro signs

18 November, 2019

18 November, 2019

What was meant to be Adelaide Mail’s first barely readable, every item on a different page, advertisement clogged ‘Top 10 List’, has...

Suburb of Devon Park to be renamed Fritz Park

7 January, 2019

7 January, 2019

In an act of South Australian patriotism, a successful campaign by residents has led to the inner north suburb of...

Adelaide Crows launch their own heritage campaign: “Bring Back The Jars”

3 May, 2021

3 May, 2021

Much alike Port Adelaide Football Club (est. 1997), the Adelaide Crows have launched their own heritage campaign in an attempt...

OTR owners on-track to own literally everything ever created

23 October, 2018

23 October, 2018

South Australia’s omnipotent overlords the Peregrine Corporation have doubled down on their bid to stage a hostile takeover of all...

Scottish town opens “South Aussie’s Motel” with giant statue of Darren Jarman

9 February, 2021

9 February, 2021

On the outskirts of Glasgow, the small Scottish town of McDundee has returned the South Australian reverence to Scotland with...

Tinder date downgraded to Hawker’s Corner after iffy message

24 June, 2019

24 June, 2019

A looming Tinder date has had its venue downgraded to West Terrace food court Hawker’s Corner following a questionable opinion...

Nobody really sure if the Red Tins thing is sarcastic or not

27 November, 2018

27 November, 2018

From twenty-somethings happily sharing the same beer with their fathers to bar owners happily off-loading their surplus of West End...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: