28 February, 2020 South Australia's other fake news source

Plans for Anzac Hwy Le Cornu site revealed: Big fence, even more weeds

TRENT BARTLETT

As Kaufland mysteriously disappear from Australian shores, top secret plans for the future of Le Cornu’s former Anzac Highway showroom have been revealed exclusive to Adelaide Mail. Local billionaire squatter Con Makris has swooped to ensure that ownership of the land will cede to his property group.

Makris exploited a little-known piece of South Australian property law which states that Greek property developers sporting suspiciously thick bouffant hair shall be guaranteed first options to buy any former Le Cornu sites should German supermarket chains pull out. With the North Adelaide site set to house a new Swedish furniture store, Makris turned his eyes toward Forestville.

Absolutely nothing. The only way it could be better is if we built some dodgy submarines here

‘Have I got something in store for South Australians?’, said Makris. ‘It’s time to put my patented Makris spin on this here land. You loved what I did for O’Connell Street, so I give to you 10 Anzac. Your new home for overgrown weeds, ramshackle fencing and complete and utter inaction for the next thirty years’.

‘I don’t think any place in South Australia could better symbolise this state. Think about it, all that rich history of manufacturing here with Chrysler. Then came the local business success story replaced with nothing. Absolutely nothing. The only way it could be better is if we built some dodgy submarines here’.

Related Posts

Crows fan still angry about Ian Perrie for some reason

4 April, 2019

4 April, 2019

Their forward line has been a constant source of contempt for Adelaide Crows fans since Tony Modra packed up his...

Burnside girl with SACA membership actually spends 20 minutes watching the cricket

6 December, 2018

6 December, 2018

The Adelaide test match is renowned for its festive atmosphere, beautiful scenery and the heritage ground, but for many the...

Suburb of Devon Park to be renamed Fritz Park

7 January, 2019

7 January, 2019

In an act of South Australian patriotism, a successful campaign by residents has led to the inner north suburb of...

Christopher Pyne quits politics to spend more time doing what he loves

1 March, 2019

1 March, 2019

In a coup for Adelaide Mail readers, outgoing Federal Defence Minister Christopher Pyne has revealed what his plans are for...

Demand for SA produce leads to spike in exports of Adelaide tap water

21 June, 2019

21 June, 2019

With the growing international reputation of South Australian food and wine, foodies from around the world have begun to develop...

Funding cuts to State mental health services great news for ShitAdelaide admins

3 June, 2019

3 June, 2019

With the State Government (not surprisingly) cutting funding for key mental health services across the state, hospital workers, inpatient units...

MP Jon Gee caught pwning CS:GO noobs in parliament

1 August, 2019

1 August, 2019

Just a few days after being busted playing Solitaire during budget estimates, it seems the brazen member for Taylor, MP Jon...

Richmond Road mural fined for deceptive and confusing advertising of state

23 February, 2020

23 February, 2020

A Mile End South mural emblazoned with the boastful phrase “South Australia leads the world” has been punished for displaying...

We’re not convinced Kingswood is a real suburb either

10 July, 2018

10 July, 2018

While we’d be the first to admit that we’ve not looked into this too closely, we’re just not ready to...

Sydney mate won’t shut up about the size of our pint glasses

31 January, 2019

31 January, 2019

In an act of mental gymnastics usually only displayed by whoever our current Prime Minister is, our mate Dan from...

Single guy reckons going to Urrbrae qualifies him for ‘Farmer Wants a Wife’

19 August, 2019

19 August, 2019

Local bachelor, avid vaper, and Urrbrae dropout Nick Telecom has been looking for love for some time now, he told...

New digital Adelaide Metro bus arrival signs to be installed pre-broken

3 October, 2018

3 October, 2018

In an effort to increase efficiency and reduce complaints, Adelaide Metro will be installing their new digital signs at transit...

“Stop all these bloody Adelaide city highrises” says Willunga resident

1 August, 2018

1 August, 2018

Gerald Manser, 62, of Willunga has had enough of CBD development. On his yearly trip to the city for a...

Man celebrates 40th birthday by agreeing with Leon Byner for the first time

12 October, 2018

12 October, 2018

Drew Ratcage has never been too bothered by the prospect of turning 40, that was until he found himself nodding...

KP-24 sales skyrocket at Adelaide pharmacies

20 March, 2019

20 March, 2019

A wave of people have been heading into city pharmacies for the lice treatment, KP-24, and everyone is scratching their head...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: