28 January, 2020 South Australia's other fake news source

Plans for Anzac Hwy Le Cornu site revealed: Big fence, even more weeds

TRENT BARTLETT

As Kaufland mysteriously disappear from Australian shores, top secret plans for the future of Le Cornu’s former Anzac Highway showroom have been revealed exclusive to Adelaide Mail. Local billionaire squatter Con Makris has swooped to ensure that ownership of the land will cede to his property group.

Makris exploited a little-known piece of South Australian property law which states that Greek property developers sporting suspiciously thick bouffant hair shall be guaranteed first options to buy any former Le Cornu sites should German supermarket chains pull out. With the North Adelaide site set to house a new Swedish furniture store, Makris turned his eyes toward Forestville.

Absolutely nothing. The only way it could be better is if we built some dodgy submarines here

‘Have I got something in store for South Australians?’, said Makris. ‘It’s time to put my patented Makris spin on this here land. You loved what I did for O’Connell Street, so I give to you 10 Anzac. Your new home for overgrown weeds, ramshackle fencing and complete and utter inaction for the next thirty years’.

‘I don’t think any place in South Australia could better symbolise this state. Think about it, all that rich history of manufacturing here with Chrysler. Then came the local business success story replaced with nothing. Absolutely nothing. The only way it could be better is if we built some dodgy submarines here’.

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