“These cars think they own the road” says ninth cyclist out from the kerb

DAN SCHMIDT

Travelling at a blistering speed of 31 k’s per hour through peak hour traffic, a group of middle-aged middle-managers who’ve taken the week off to cosplay as athletes have become annoyed at the amount of cars using the very infrastructure they’re supposed to.

‘God, these drivers really are something else’ said Dan Seuse to the dozen or so fellow once-a-year riders between him and the kerb.

‘They’re drive on the exact same roads in the exact same manner I do for the other 51 weeks of the year like they own it or something’ Dan continued as his pace rapidly declined during a slight incline.

‘I don’t get all the hate us cyclists get. Ah, here’s another one…JUST GO AROUND!’ Dan yelled while pointing to a footpath immediately to his right.

‘Can’t they just respect us and share the road? Oh, hang on a sec.’ Dan and his group then just stopped in the middle of Pirie Street so one of them could fix their chain while the rest of them sipped their water bottles and checked their Garmins.

‘Anyway, it’s just common courtesy to give each other enough space’ said Dan before he and two dozen other cyclists left their bikes completely clogging a footpath outside a cafe.