28 March, 2020 South Australia's other fake news source

Community members begin filling in for teachers as strike takes effect

TRENT BARTLETT

In a plot device lifted directly from the golden years of The Simpsons, unqualified members from the community have begun taking over public school classrooms from striking teachers.

The move has so far proven unsuccessful, with many students already resorting to petty vandalism and self-governing communities in the style of Lord of the Flies. While the students run free, teaching standards have also diminished. 

Initial reviews of the strike have been mixed, with many pointing to a restrictive plot that leaves no room for gags

Reports have surfaced that one Year Two class was taken by a World War II veteran who spent ninety minutes recounting things that both are and are not ‘a paddlin”.

South Australia’s public school teachers voted to walk off the job after a string of embarrassing moments highlighted state schools’ lack of funding. When Adelaide Mail uncovered high volumes of both newspaper and gym mats in schools’ canteen food, teachers decided that enough was enough, purple monkey dishwasher.

Initial reviews of the strike have been mixed, with many pointing to a restrictive plot that leaves no room for gags.

‘The satire of our declining educational infrastructure was amusing, but it came across at the grade school level, not much here for adults’, wrote Disco Stud on Twitter. ‘Subpar overall. That’s a paddlin’!’

While the government remains steadfast for the moment, rumours abound that Rob Lucas is set to fold faster than Superman on laundry day.

More as it develops

Related Posts

Looming end of winter great news for cable tie manufacturers

15 August, 2019

15 August, 2019

The looming end of Adelaide’s winter signifies two things for most South Australians: re-emerging from your house at night after...

REPORT: Tim Noonan really just a poor man’s Xavier Minniecon

10 January, 2020

10 January, 2020

After eighteen months of exhaustive studies, researchers are still unable to formally identify what the hell Channel Seven Weather Presenter...

Magic Cave now just a ‘Magic 3 x 4 metre room’

19 November, 2018

19 November, 2018

Budget cuts and declining sponsors have hit the Magic Cave hard this year, with Santa and his entire grotto allocated...

Uh-oh! This article is sponsored by some company, but we forgot who

20 February, 2019

20 February, 2019

After taking a look at The Betoota Advocate’s website and seeing how much advertising money we’re missing out on, we...

Demand for SA produce leads to spike in exports of Adelaide tap water

21 June, 2019

21 June, 2019

With the growing international reputation of South Australian food and wine, foodies from around the world have begun to develop...

Next election, let’s just all vote for Cosi and see what happens

24 May, 2019

24 May, 2019

With the Federal Election over and not a great deal changing, aside from increased health-care costs for the poor, many...

Despite their name, these things are pretty shithouse at jumps

12 March, 2020

12 March, 2020

Adelaide city has been flooded with hundreds of bright red e-bikes over the past week as Uber “Jump” launched a...

Josh Frydenberg thanks Tammy from MyBudget for her assistance this week

3 April, 2019

3 April, 2019

Preparing the 2019-20 Federal Budget, Josh didn’t know where to start. ‘Bills were piling up on the kitchen table and...

Remaining KI koalas go missing as news of PM’s visit spreads

8 January, 2020

8 January, 2020

As news of the Prime Minister’s visit to Kangaroo Island spreads amongst what remains of Kangaroo Island’s koala community, the...

Nu-Metal band sees potential in Adelaide Real Estate Market

6 June, 2019

6 June, 2019

With the Adelaide Real Estate market still representing great value for investors and first home buyers, a new agency established...

Addicts reduced to drinking Dare as iced coffee shortage hits

16 April, 2019

16 April, 2019

With the state in the midst of a regional Farmers Union Iced Coffee shortage, scores of heavily-addicted South Australians have...

South Australian corrects interstate friend on her pronunciation again

19 February, 2019

19 February, 2019

In what is fast becoming a deal-breaker amongst new Victorian friends and colleagues of South Australian Shelly Fischer, the freshly-migrated...

Even at Cudlee Creek “Free Hugs” guy still seems very creepy

16 January, 2020

16 January, 2020

CUDDLY CREEP: At a time where most South Australians are selflessly coming together to support those affected by bushfires, one...

Gawler line passenger set for great day after altercation-free commute

17 October, 2018

17 October, 2018

Startling footage has emerged from a security camera on-board an Adelaide-bound Gawler train this morning showing an entirely incident-free trip....

Old mate looking for roast buffet ends up at new CBD hospital

30 January, 2020

30 January, 2020

An event that can only be described as “not newsworthy at all” (even for Adelaide Mail standards) occured in the...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: