20 October, 2021 South Australia's other fake news source

Gays Arcade forced to change name after experts confirm it’s more of a mall

The LGBTQIA community (Laneway, Galleria, Business, Trader, Quickie-Mart, Independent retailer, and Arcade) are rejoicing as experts have changed the name of a much beloved Adelaide shopping quarters.

Home of Adelaide’s most hilarious plaque and a baffling range of stores that somehow can afford the rent there, the name “Gays Arcade” has been controversial for many years. But now a team of expert retail linguists have confirmed, in fact, it is technically not an Arcade at all.

‘It’s just the somewhat negative connotations and stigma that come with that word’, said supporter of the change Marnette Speakerphone ‘it can often conjure up images of dark, sleazy, coin-operated booths frequented by grubby men, that are often associated with the term ‘Arcade’. I mean, this place isn’t a TimeZone, and thus should be given the respect and title it deserves, which due to several factors is technically a mall’.

However, some aren’t so happy with the change, mainly because they’re old. Avid complainer and Advertiser subscriber Rosie Boomer shared a facebook post about the name change, adding her own thoughts, tangents, and new punctuation rules, stating:

I mean, this place isn’t a TimeZone, and thus should be given the respect and title it deserves, which due to several factors is technically a mall

“WHEN WILL THS BLOODY PC MOB STOP! ,, bet you this is because of the greens abc safe schools program labor Sarah HansonYoung muslims pronouns abc greens and getup lot.,.  I CAN CALL AND ARCADE AN ARCAde if i wont its alwasy been that way who cares ! ,,, n before all you dogooders hate m,e for saying arcade my friend is an arcade and THEY DONT CARE if they r called that so it doesnt even effect u.. , I for one will continue to never shop there. BOYCOT.  love it or leave it you lefty mob. Australia flag emoji, angry face emoji, flower emoji. Sent via iPad.”

Gays Mall will officially change name next week, and reports state it is dying to get some hands on its own set of balls.

Editor’s note: Thanks to Grant for this headline idea. He runs a website called GoodGoonGuide.com, your one stop site for all things cask wine.

in Life, News
Related Posts

Victor Harbor shops sell out of loaves of bread and sunscreen for some reason

24 November, 2018

24 November, 2018

In a bizarre, localised spike in demand not seen in over eleven months, Victor Harbor shops are quickly selling out...

Karen no longer knows how to threaten local businesses without Today Tonight

27 November, 2019

27 November, 2019

LET ME SPEAK TO THE MANAGER!: This morning as Clarence Gardens facebook-mum of two Karen Decrows, 43, set off for...

Collingwood given all-clear to play as long as they promise not to touch the footy

2 June, 2021

2 June, 2021

TRENT BARTLETT In an eleventh-hour decision, South Australian authorities have given Collingwood players and staff an exemption to travel into...

“Ignore all the references to northern NSW, “Flame Trees” is definitely about Elizabeth”

26 November, 2020

26 November, 2020

Ask any true-blue northern suburbs local about Aussie rock and they’ll tell you a thing or two about a thing...

Kent Town resident drives length of North Terrace without being stopped

28 May, 2018

28 May, 2018

Dwayne Hoff of Kent Town could not believe his luck last Wednesday afternoon. As he hopped in his car to meet friends at “The Deli” in Thebarton, little did he know what was in store for him.

Far-Ken Hall! Adelaide’s biggest plumber goes rural

2 October, 2019

2 October, 2019

Adelaide’s biggest plumbing business, Ken Hall Plumbers is expanding its operations across rural South Australia. Marketing manager for Ken Hall...

How many of these top 10 ultimate 90’s Adelaide moments do you remember?

13 August, 2020

13 August, 2020

NOT CLICKBAIT! The top 10 90's Adelaide moments.

Adelaide Oval Christmas Pageant limited to only 25,000 bagpipers

22 September, 2020

22 September, 2020

A 90 percent reduction on previous years.

Introducing “Dazzaland”! A Darren Jarman themed indoor amusement park

23 June, 2021

23 June, 2021

With the top two floors of the Adelaide Myer Centre only now about half as exciting as they used to...

Next round of JobKeeper payments to be means-tested on whether your family can afford this milk

3 September, 2020

3 September, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT With Commonwealth funds rapidly running out due to the decisions of a welfare-obsessed, handout-crazed Federal Labor government, Treasury...

Local wheelie bin maintains and confirms SAFM still rocks Banksia Park

21 June, 2021

21 June, 2021 1

Decades after the heyday of the SAFM Black Thunders gracing suburban Adelaide streets handing out icy-cold cans of expired cola,...

Barossa local, who definitely has bigger things to worry about now, is angry you’re saying NuriOOPTA

30 March, 2020

30 March, 2020

Of all the things that a Barossa Valley resident could be getting angry at right now, Larry Hyphen-Colon has chosen...

The Advertiser returns to 100% satire following April Fools’ prank

2 April, 2019

2 April, 2019 1

It is a publication that has always gone to great lengths to get a laugh from South Australians. From the...

Demand for SA produce leads to spike in exports of Adelaide tap water

21 June, 2019

21 June, 2019

With the growing international reputation of South Australian food and wine, foodies from around the world have begun to develop...

ShitAdelaide blocked us now we have to go outside to laugh at the poor

28 June, 2019

28 June, 2019

Having come to rely on a local Instagram account as our conduit to the outside world, our schedule had come...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: