New Freedom of Information documents circulated by satirical newspaper ‘The Advertiser’ have revealed an embarrassing blunder that was buried by the Premier’s media team in the lead-up to the March election.
Adelaide Mail discovered the bombshell when we started to read through the documents but realised that actually reading them was going to take ages so we ended up just uploading them into ChatGPT with the prompt: “Give me the top five worst things that these documents say the Premier did, then write a newspaper article about each of them with a writing style and vocabulary that could be easily understood by an 8-year-old”.
The prompt was inspired by a similar one we found saved in the chat history after gaining access to News Corp’s ChatGPT account.
According to the documents, Premier Peter Malinauskas folded his arms and said “NO, I’M NOT GOING TO” when a journalist presented him with a glass of foamy seawater in a would-be Gotcha Moment™.
The Premier then rebuked another journalist for calling the water “toxic”, telling him: “Let’s get our language right here, this algal bloom may be making the water a little thicker and foamier than we’re used to. And sure, thousands of fishies are washing up on our shores, possibly dead. We’re not sure about that.
“We also don’t know if they died of natural causes, could be old age, could be anything. Traffic accidents account for around 100 deaths in SA each year, that’s with a human population of around 1.5 million. You know how many fish there are in South Australian seas? Heaps more, hundreds of billions. It’s just logical that the number of road deaths would be far, far higher for fish if we think on a per-capita basis. It’s just commonsense, guys.”
Thankfully, the release of the documents coincided with news leaking that Gather Round has been locked in for another three years. So let’s just talk about that instead.
