29 September, 2023

We don’t care about the AFL GF, we have something even better…the Northern Districts U12s finals

TRENT BARTLETT

With the centrepiece of footy in Australia set to head north to Australia’s centre of footy, Brisbane, South Australia will not be left wondering what could have been.

Adelaide Oval will instead take on the showpiece event that is the 2020 Pooraka Dismantlers Northern Districts Under-12 finals. In full!

This year’s finals series is set to feature such heavyweight teams as the Brahma Lodge Blues, the Bolivar Browns and the Valley View Vulcans, the only footy team in the country named after a former gladiator on the hit Channel Seven TV show Gladiators.

This will be just like the Grand Prix. Nobody cares about the Grand Prix any more, that’s why other states keep trying to take our precious Clipsal

No sir, we don’t need validation from those Victorian boffins, sitting in their ivory towers making decisions for the rest of the country. The 2020 Pooraka Dismantlers Northern Districts Under-12 Finals Series is way more exciting.

Those idiots in Queensland will be begging us to host the series next year. Just you wait and see.

This will be just like the Grand Prix. Nobody cares about the Grand Prix any more, that’s why other states keep trying to take our precious Clipsal. Why wouldn’t you want to see four dozen antiquated cars made by companies who turned their back on Australia years ago race around an abbreviated version of a Formula 1 track?

That’s everything we have to say about that, but unfortunately someone in sales promised Pooraka Dismantlers that we would mention their name five times in this article. We still need to mention them two more times and I can’t figure out how to weave it in.

I probably shouldn’t have used a pronoun to refer to them in that previous sentence.

Or that sentence just then for that matter. Shit.

Pooraka Dismantlers. Does that count?

Pooraka Dismantlers. There, I’m getting out of here before that idiot sales guy catches me and asks me to make a video for his pitch to a client that has already blocked his calls.

in News, Sport
Related Posts

South Australian corrects interstate friend on her pronunciation again

19 February, 2019

19 February, 2019

In what is fast becoming a deal-breaker amongst new Victorian friends and colleagues of South Australian Shelly Fischer, the freshly-migrated...

CBD co-workers from opposite sides of city pretend to know where each other live

5 October, 2018

5 October, 2018

As Harry North and Belinda Southeast sat down for lunch at their CBD workplace, conversation turned to the weekend and...

Adelaide Mail launches new kids’ alternate news service “Below The News”

4 February, 2022

4 February, 2022

South Australian children have grown tired of being pushed a constant mainstream narrative by the Adelaide produced “Behind The News”...

Dad unnecessarily angry about how safe St. Kilda Playground is these days

11 June, 2020

11 June, 2020

Tired of enclosed trampolines, anti-bullying campaigns and gluten intolerances, distant father of six Darren Dedbeit decided to take the kids...

2003 Seaford High graduate wears Year 12 jumper to commemorate the year he peaked

8 June, 2018

8 June, 2018

As he once again donned the faded maroon sweatshirt for a trip to the shops, Ryan Govern, 33, reminisced about...

Even 1079 Life FM hosts cringe at some of the Christian songs they have to play

6 March, 2022

6 March, 2022

Adelaide’s family friendly easy-listening radio station has long been known for the playing the latest inoffensive pop tunes, subtle messaging,...

Johnny Haysman eats 2kg bag of sugar in attempt to gain YouTube subscribers

6 March, 2019

6 March, 2019

In an attempt to appeal to a younger market and beat the YouTube algorithm, local eccentric Adelaide legend John Haysman...

Adelaide Fashion Festival just showcasing whatever is on sale at Harris Scarfe

20 October, 2018

20 October, 2018

The State’s leading fashion event is currently underway in Adelaide, with designers, runway models, socialites, and critics flying in from...

Electrified Gawler line ready to reopen just as soon as they can find 42km long extension cord

5 June, 2022

5 June, 2022

TRENT BARTLETT The long-anticipated return of trains to the Gawler Railway Line is expected within the coming days, should the...

Barmera economy kept afloat entirely by TV Travel Auctions

22 January, 2019

22 January, 2019

‘Who wants to go on a holiday, holiday, holiday?’ You can hear the eternally-repeating echoes of John Dean’s famous voiceover...

SA Dentists host annual Farmers Union Iced Coffee appreciation night

9 December, 2019

9 December, 2019

South Australia’s dentists gathered for their industry’s night of nights on Saturday night, with their annual Farmers Union Thanksgiving Dinner....

Guy who hasn’t been to the Casino in 15 years can’t wait to play that horse racing game again

20 January, 2020

20 January, 2020

It’s been nearly fifteen years since Whyalla man Mitch Brokeslad has ventured on down to Adelaide, but an invitation to...

Penfolds to release limited edition cask Grange

20 December, 2019

20 December, 2019

In an effort to appeal to a wider and less affluent market, Penfolds have taken a new and innovative direction for their...

Two hour line to smell putrid flower proves there’s still heaps to do in Adelaide

10 January, 2023

10 January, 2023

Sydney may have the Harbour, Melbourne may (wrongly) have the Formula One, and Perth may have whatever it is they...

Old Le Cornu site to become new Swedish Furniture store ‘De Körneu’

22 May, 2019

22 May, 2019

The Adelaide City Council has made the announcement of what will finally be done with the ever controversial old Le...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: