In a nod to 90s sitcoms, a new government initiative will give homeowners across the state a chance to have their very own lecherous, slightly irritating comic relief character living in a granny flat out the back of their home.
The scheme is said to have been thought up as a means of correcting rising house prices and flagging TV ratings for the SA housing market. With media coverage of us selling houses to each other for increasingly stupid amounts of money now a primary product of the Australian property industry,* any downturn in TV viewership is grave cause for concern.
‘Few know this, but the TV ratings system is the one true method by which we gauge how well the state’s economy is going,’ says Minister for Housing, Nielsen Ratings & Sitcom Characters Corbynn Outpatient.
‘It’s a standard sitcom manoeuvre, when things are starting to go badly for those in charge, just introduce a new character. One on the periphery of the show.
‘Preferably it’ll be one who doesn’t actually live in the family house, but upstairs or next door or out the back in a granny flat. They won’t actually do anything of note, but hopefully the general public is distracted enough to take the pressure off for a few more weeks…and place downward pressure on housing prices, or whatever’.
‘Actually, we’re already thinking about the evolution of this Granny Flat scheme. We’ve lined up a chubby kid called Arthur MacArthur to come in and replace your initial tenants after a couple of years. It won’t be as good, but I reckon we can line him up for a toilet paper commercial and get ourselves a spotter’s fee’.
*Mainly via realestate.com.au and domain.com.au – the two remaining profitable pieces of Australian media.