26 September, 2022

Goodwood Road cemetery to add severed head sculpture to existing public artwork

TRENT BARTLETT

A Goodwood Road cemetery is looking to increase the number of sculptures depicting severed appendages in a renewed push for vaguely threatening public art along Adelaide’s north-south arterials.

The new sculpture will depict a severed head to complement the cemetery’s existing “severed hands” sculpture.

Park curator and overlord Terry Renfield says that the sculpture should act as a warning.

‘Look, look at the hands, this is the result. This, this is the wage for your sins,’ Renfield told an Adelaide Mail reporter who was tossing up whether or not to give his interviewee the Chomp bar and creaming soda that he picked up for him at the servo, having clearly misread exactly how much of a stick-in-the-mud this Renfield character would be in real life.

‘Try! Dare even! Dare cross Renfield and this could be you. Hand-less…headless even!’ he continued, bringing down the mood of the whole afternoon.

I mean, we’ve covered murder scenes, the Oakbank Racing Carnival, nothing has been as depressing as this bloke.

When asked if he believed that people want severed appendages to the first thing they see when they come to visit their lost loved ones, Renfield responded: ‘It’s the first thing I would want to see,’ because, of course he did.

‘They will sit there, beautifully outside our new section opening next week called “The people who had brief and (as far as police are concerned) innocuous encounters with Renfield before ending up here with a missing appendage Memorial Garden”. There’s going to be a lovely fountain.’

in Life, News
Related Posts

Guy Sebastian also apologises for tagging Golden Grove Rage Cage in 2001

7 September, 2021

7 September, 2021

GUG SEBASTIAN: Early 2000’s typical North-East hood-rat and former Australian Idol Guy Sebastian has apologised to his Instagram followers for...

LIFE HACK: Did you guys know you can just drive up Mount Lofty?

10 August, 2022

10 August, 2022

Hey, so we’re not sure if this is widely known or not, but judging by the amount of people we...

“Walk To Work Day” actually fastest commute for city workers using South Road

2 September, 2022

2 September, 2022

With today being national “Walk To Work Day”, many southern suburbs to CBD commuters have found that walking along South...

Local dealer making absolute bank thanks to Illuminate Adelaide

8 July, 2022

8 July, 2022

Adelaide’s festival of lights (the non-religious one) has unintentionally stimulated the local economy, according to local stimulant economists. Adelaide Mail...

Business who still hasn’t added 8 to phone number probably shonky

18 October, 2019

18 October, 2019

A television and VCR repair shop on Goodwood Road in Adelaide’s inner south is staring the wind of change in...

2001 Golden Grove High graduate still using the word ‘Gug’

2 January, 2019

2 January, 2019

Over 17 years since barely graduating from Golden Grove, Richard Mahogany of Greenwith continues to utilise obscure and almost obsolete...

Mr. Bankrupt gets 200th consecutive daily COVID test after waking up with a sore throat again

2 December, 2020

2 December, 2020

The once successful ever-failing businessman Mr. Bankrupt has once again gone to a COVID-19 testing site after waking up with...

Albo only visiting Sturt electorate to see if he can drive his car on the O-Bahn

20 May, 2022

20 May, 2022

Federal Labor Leader Anthony Albanese has spent the final day of the election campaign visiting the South Australian electorate of...

Keith Martyn’s 2022 South Australian Almanac painfully blunt yet precise

11 January, 2022

11 January, 2022

The Prince of Pascals, Keith Martyn, has once again accurately summarised South Australian circumstances in his annual (yearly) almanac. Whilst...

Port performs angry costume change to make their closing argument through the power of song

9 May, 2021

9 May, 2021

TRENT BARTLETT The Port Power Football Club have turned up the heat in their enduring fight to wear their favourite...

Dad starts saving good Pageant spot now

24 October, 2019

24 October, 2019

With less than three weeks until the 2019 Christmas Pageant kicks off, father of three, Doug Float, is dedicated to...

Elon Musk buys AdelaideFree Wifi for thirty bucks and a carton of West End

28 April, 2022

28 April, 2022

After buying Twitter earlier this week for over 60 billion dollars, Tesla CEO and apartheid mining heir Elon Musk has...

Rob Lucas thanks Tammy from MyBudget for her assistance this week

5 September, 2018

5 September, 2018

Preparing his first budget in over 17 years, Treasurer Lucas wasn’t really sure where to start. ‘Yeah, it was a...

Adelaide Mail calls for Adelaide Oval to have ONLY Scoreboards and Hills

30 August, 2021

30 August, 2021

With former Liberal MP Christopher Pyne clearly rapidly running out of ideas for things to write about in satirical newspaper...

Burnside resident asks if travel bubble could be constructed exclusively around Eastern Suburbs

12 May, 2020

12 May, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT As the state begins to lift some of its coronavirus restrictions, attention has turned to travel and when...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: