26 January, 2020 South Australia's other fake news source

Adelaide man thinks shirt smelling like smoke is the biggest issue as hundreds flee homes

Dan Schmidt

As residents of Yorke Peninsula have fled their homes overnight, only to hear this morning that their property is lost, and CFS heroes continue to battle blazes, please spare a thought for a part-time city worker and full-time flog, Dan Burns.

Awaking this morning to get his only work shirt off the washing line, Dan noticed the slight smell of smoke had attached to his previously clean shirt. Immediately taking to social media to make sure his 36 followers know that the state-wide catastrophe is all about him, Dan expressed his outrage accordingly.

This really has ruined my day, I’m going to have to deal with this stench until I get home tonight

With no choice but to wear the shirt to work, Dan messaged his few friends to ask if they’re doing okay, but really just wanted them to ask the question back so he could let them know how these bushfires have impacted him directly.

After multiple requests to speak to the media about his experience this morning, we were the only publisher to accept a statement from Dan, who told Adelaide Mail ‘This really has ruined my day, I’m going to have to deal with this stench until I get home tonight. I can still smell it. Plus, I think I had croup when I was a kid once, so this haze really isn’t good for my health. As a victim of devastating fires, I really hope the Government can start doing more for those who are impacted, like me’.

Dan reluctantly arrived late to his office-job, not sparing a moment of thought for those who have actually lost their livelihood, or those who have risked their own lives to save others, but instead letting the office know about his personal issue.

As Dan is a heavy tobacco smoker anyway, co-workers have failed to notice any change in Dan’s scent this morning.

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