5 May, 2026 South Australia's Other Fake News Source

OTR’s solution to unhappy customers: Get rid of the angry man button

Having grown annoyed at the constant stream of customers pushing the ‘angry’ button upon exit, OTR has moved to eliminate any opportunity for customers to feel angry about their trip to the servo.

Adelaide’s petrol-pumping overlords, the Peregrine Corporation implemented the ‘Happy or Not’ system of gauging customer sentiment after a stream of complaints regarding everything from the quality of latte art to the ludicrously meagre specials on Gatorade.

Certainly our initial response from customers has been very positive, with one hundred percent ‘happy’ responses in store since the change

‘We wanted to do something to address our customers’ unhappiness’, says OTR Head of Customer Experience and Exploitation Jafar Tyrell. ‘We wanted to change these results by addressing them at the root. We didn’t want just a quick fix, we wanted a long-term solution’.

‘So we mobilised teams to stand at a dozen or so stores and ask customers why they pressed the angry man when they left. The results really surprised us. For example, we had been under the impression that our customers loved waiting longer to pay for petrol while the sole attendant struggled to make a coffee or process lottery ticket winnings. Apparently not. Weird, right?’

‘We think we’ve found a solution that makes my end of quarter reports far better looking when I present them, while also making our customers happier. Certainly our initial response from customers has been very positive, with one hundred percent ‘happy’ responses in store since the change. I think the proof is in the pudding, which incidentally is on special just in time for Christmas at just forty dollars for three Balfours Christmas puddings’.

Related Posts

Crows family members plead for exemption to leave South Australia after sons’ 2020 season

25 September, 2020

25 September, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT Following the decision by health authorities to allow Port Power family members into SA on a special exemption...

LIFE HACK: Did you guys know you can just drive up Mount Lofty?

10 August, 2022

10 August, 2022

Hey, so we’re not sure if this is widely known or not, but judging by the amount of people we...

Adelaide Crows eyeing off homesick Victorian with first ever #1 pick at AFL draft

4 July, 2020

4 July, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT The Adelaide Crows are looking to the future, with the club seeking to wrap up their first ever...

“These cars think they own the road” says ninth cyclist out from the kerb

16 January, 2024

16 January, 2024

Travelling at a blistering speed of 31 k’s per hour through peak hour traffic, a group of middle-aged middle-managers who’ve...

People somehow shocked when Liberal govt starts privatising everything

17 May, 2019

17 May, 2019

With the state government looking for novel and opportunistic ways to deliver on pre-election fiscal promises, several key pieces of...

The Queen just found out Elizabeth is named after her and she is fucking pissed

31 May, 2021

31 May, 2021

TRENT BARTLETT As if her year couldn’t get any worse, Queen Elizabeth II has just learned that the northern Adelaide...

Goolwa Line Electrified

15 June, 2022

15 June, 2022

Whilst the SteamRanger Cockle Train has always been a reliable mode of public transport for Middleton residents commuting to their...

South Australians tipped to consume $3bn worth of Zooper Doopers today

24 January, 2019

24 January, 2019

While many today will be doing their best to not think about just how high the mercury is expected to...

AdBlocker removes entire AdelaideNow website

22 July, 2019

22 July, 2019

As Gavin Alook was searching for an old news article about the time his school actually figured out what the...

Adelaide 36ers to change name to “Adelaide BCers” to honour traditional landowners

8 September, 2020

8 September, 2020

MATT FREEMAN With the Washington Redskins finally realizing the bloody obvious, that their nickname is actually racially offensive, the Adelaide...

New “DogKeeper” package grants people $10,000 in Dogs Dollars for rent or Smirnoff Double Blacks

27 July, 2020

27 July, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT As South Australia grapples with the ongoing economic impact of COVID-19, the Federal Government has moved to stimulate...

To rival Power’s 3 Game Membership, Crows offer 3 Quarter Membership

3 August, 2021

3 August, 2021

With Port Adelaide Power Football Club (est. 1997) claiming they now have the most members of any AFL club, yet...

Richmond Road mural fined for deceptive and confusing advertising of state

23 February, 2020

23 February, 2020

A Mile End South mural emblazoned with the boastful phrase “South Australia leads the world” has been punished for displaying...

Lucy Cornes confronts Martin Scorsese for stealing that Goodfellas tracking shot from her

10 February, 2020

10 February, 2020

Founder of digital marketing agency She Digital and self-described ‘Spiritual Being’ Lucy Cornes has taken to social media to accuse...

Woman joins Port Elliot Bakery line now hoping to get lunch for Easter Sunday

31 March, 2021

31 March, 2021

With the traditional Easter Adelaide mass exodus about to begin, the Fleurieu Peninsula will soon be overrun by metropolitan Adelaide’s...

Discover more from Adelaide Mail

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading