6 June, 2020 South Australia's other fake news source

OTR’s solution to unhappy customers: Get rid of the angry man button

Having grown annoyed at the constant stream of customers pushing the ‘angry’ button upon exit, OTR has moved to eliminate any opportunity for customers to feel angry about their trip to the servo.

Adelaide’s petrol-pumping overlords, the Peregrine Corporation implemented the ‘Happy or Not’ system of gauging customer sentiment after a stream of complaints regarding everything from the quality of latte art to the ludicrously meagre specials on Gatorade.

Certainly our initial response from customers has been very positive, with one hundred percent ‘happy’ responses in store since the change

‘We wanted to do something to address our customers’ unhappiness’, says OTR Head of Customer Experience and Exploitation Jafar Tyrell. ‘We wanted to change these results by addressing them at the root. We didn’t want just a quick fix, we wanted a long-term solution’.

‘So we mobilised teams to stand at a dozen or so stores and ask customers why they pressed the angry man when they left. The results really surprised us. For example, we had been under the impression that our customers loved waiting longer to pay for petrol while the sole attendant struggled to make a coffee or process lottery ticket winnings. Apparently not. Weird, right?’

‘We think we’ve found a solution that makes my end of quarter reports far better looking when I present them, while also making our customers happier. Certainly our initial response from customers has been very positive, with one hundred percent ‘happy’ responses in store since the change. I think the proof is in the pudding, which incidentally is on special just in time for Christmas at just forty dollars for three Balfours Christmas puddings’.

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