21 June, 2026 South Australia's Other Fake News Source

Tea Tree Gully over 35’s Masters also bid to be 20th AFL team if AFL allow beers on bench

DAN SCHMIDT

With the announcement that Norwood is keen to become the next AFL team, another local team (albeit much older and far less skilled) has decided to throw their hat in the ring.

The over 35’s Tea Tree Gully Masters plan to formally submit their bid to the AFL once a few provisions can be agreed upon between the team and the AFL. These include the allowance of beers on the bench, 18 home games a year, and a couple of Fireball bottles in the changerooms.

‘It’s a great plan, and I think we’d be real contenders’, said team spokesperson, forward, and coach Dylan Brown ‘I mean, not contenders on the field obviously, but when it comes to ongoing injuries and gambling issues, we’ve got guys on this team who will rival many AFL players’.

‘I think the Power and Crows are looking like good development squads for the TTG Masters, Motlop and Walker will be of eligible age next year’.

‘Sure, some away games we don’t have enough players to fill a side. Plus one of our midfielders forgets which way we’re kicking half the time. But still, have you seen the Crows form this year? Yikes’.

The team plans to formally submit their bid to the AFL once they’ve finalised their much more important plans for the end of season footy trip.

in Sport
Related Posts

SEN raids Adelaide Mail’s discarded joke cupboard, steals idea for range of Kane Cornes merchandise

9 November, 2021

9 November, 2021

TRENT BARTLETT Winners of Australia’s Narrowest Broadcast Area Award two years running, SEN SA have released their very own range...

Local man puts on a few KGs while working from home

3 July, 2020

3 July, 2020

Part time pool cleaner and Valley View resident Al Lapanna has been working from home since COVID-19 hit (not for...

Science proves it – Crows on track to be 2029 premiers!

22 August, 2021

22 August, 2021

MATT FREEMAN A combination of dodgy statistical modelling, along with the readings from the tea leaves from Crows fans’ thermos...

Any Crows fans under 60 eligible for Junior Membership

20 March, 2021

20 March, 2021

As the Adelaide Crows attempt to go back-to-back in the 2021, the club has restructured its membership plans to better...

Residents of Shithöle angered at being compared to Adelaide

25 September, 2019

25 September, 2019

The small village of Shithöle lies somewhere along the Eastern European poverty belt’s poverty belt, near the disputed border of...

Supercars once again prove relevance by booking band who hasn’t released decent album for 35 years

10 February, 2026

10 February, 2026

TRENT BARTLETT Organisers of Adelaide’s Superloop 500 have once again demonstrated their firm grasp on the cultural pulse of modern...

First stage of Tour Down Under won by lost Uber Eats rider

21 January, 2020

21 January, 2020

Today the Barossa hosted the first men’s stage of the Tour Down Under, a gruelling 150 kilometre slog even for...

AFL “Magic Round” just Ian Perrie sawing Wayne Weidemann in half

11 November, 2022

11 November, 2022

With the first AFL “Magic Round” to be held in Adelaide in 2023, excitement and speculation has begun in regards...

Stephen Rowe delivers calm, reasoned response to Adelaide Crows loss

7 July, 2018

7 July, 2018

Sports broadcaster Stephen Rowe has issued an on-air apology after leaked footage surfaced revealing Rowe to have engaged in a...

Farmers Union to launch new milk-based sports energy drink

16 December, 2020

16 December, 2020

"The curdle helps you clear the hurdles"

Private school alumni excited for not watching cricket season

20 October, 2020

20 October, 2020

As football season has wrapped up for the state of South Australia, the attention of Adelaide’s private school alumni turns...

Thousands of Port fans call in ‘sick’, empty office chairs everywhere tarped

13 May, 2019

13 May, 2019

Thousands of Port Power fans from around the state have chucked a sickie today, knowing full well they are incapable...

BREAKING: LIV Golf to be held at Valley View Par 3 in 2026

17 February, 2025

17 February, 2025

Adelaide's LIV Golf tournament, initially set for North Adelaide Golf Course until 2031, has been moved to Valley View Par 3 for 2026 due to strong resident opposition. LIV Golf CEO Greg Norman expressed disappointment while highlighting Valley View's readiness, igniting mixed reactions from local residents about economic impacts.

Ken Hinkley spotted scouting Tea Tree Gully over 35’s Masters team for better talent

2 April, 2022

2 April, 2022

After starting the season with three straight losses including a Showdown loss against a team who “can’t handball and can’t...

Pray for Kane: Cornes forced to scrap next six months of story ideas

4 September, 2019

4 September, 2019

Kane Cornes’s media career has been thrown into disarray after Adelaide Crows co-captain Taylor Walker announced that he will be...

Comments

Leave a Reply

Discover more from Adelaide Mail

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading