27 January, 2023

Ken Hinkley spotted scouting Tea Tree Gully over 35’s Masters team for better talent

DAN SCHMIDT

After starting the season with three straight losses including a Showdown loss against a team who “can’t handball and can’t kick”, Port Power coach Ken Hinkley has already began looking for more talented players to improve the team that many fans believed were Premiership contenders just weeks ago.

Ken has got straight to work scouting for better players than his current lineup, and has reportedly started in the most logical place possible – the Tea Tree Gully District Football Club over 35’s Masters squad.

Spotted with a set of binoculars, clipboard and an comically overflowing steak sandwich in the Gullies’ stands, Hinkley seemed impressed with the performance of some of older, slower, and most likely hungover men.

Scribbling notes such as “Barely competent, but still better than what I got”, “A fair few fumbles, but at least they just finish a game”, “One of the number 26’s is a mouthy and arrogant, the next Kane Cornes?” and “Extremely heavy bench rotation. Probably strategic”, Hinkley seemed impressed by the group.

Talking to nobody particular between mouthfuls of almost pure barbeque sauce, Ken was overheard stating ‘These guys are just what we need. Experienced, big bodied, and relaxed. In fact so relaxed, I think I saw one guy having a sneaky can and quick sleep on the bench’.

‘Also, Tea Tree Gully Football Club was established in 1862, and since history is all Power fans are holding on to at the moment, this will be the perfect transition. I might just take the whole squad’.

Ken was seen leaving the club after being seen trying to hand out his resume to whoever would take it, ‘just in case’.

in News, Sport
Related Posts

“Ignore all the references to northern NSW, “Flame Trees” is definitely about Elizabeth”

26 November, 2020

26 November, 2020

Ask any true-blue northern suburbs local about Aussie rock and they’ll tell you a thing or two about a thing...

Redlegs ‘fan’ disappointed at first game he’s watched since 2014

24 September, 2018

24 September, 2018

Attending the SANFL grand final yesterday, self proclaimed ‘die-hard fan’, Simon Pleb of Burnside, was brimming with confidence. ‘It’s nice...

Ceduna resident extremely angry about Adelaide Park Lands development

9 April, 2019

9 April, 2019

Murat Thevenard of Ceduna is your average consumer of South Australia’s satirical newspaper, The Advertiser, he gets it delivered to...

OTR pay their staff fairly and we’re writing this of our own free will

11 December, 2019

11 December, 2019

In recent days, you may have seen news about how a group of lawyers are considering launching a class action...

Entire train deeply confused by passenger getting off at Chidda

14 November, 2019

14 November, 2019

In a completely unprecedented situation, a passenger on a Gawler Central-bound train has alighted at Chidda Railway Station. Witnesses on...

Rob Lucas thanks Tammy from MyBudget for her assistance this week

5 September, 2018

5 September, 2018

Preparing his first budget in over 17 years, Treasurer Lucas wasn’t really sure where to start. ‘Yeah, it was a...

Car controlled by bees still more courteous than most Adelaide drivers

26 September, 2019

26 September, 2019

In a growing trend to worry drivers and parents across Adelaide, South Australian motorists are surrendering their cars to swarms...

SA called ‘Beggar State’ by Senator literally begging for money on GoFundMe

14 November, 2018

14 November, 2018

NSW Senator David Leyonhjelm has described South Australia as a “beggar state” that should be thrown out of the Australian...

Now here’s something we don’t mind Victoria stealing from SA

6 November, 2019

6 November, 2019

News has broken on several less reputable news-sites that failed Mayo candidate and novelty cheque aficionado Georgina Downer will be...

Five fun things to do this weekend in…*checks sign*…GLENELP

12 November, 2021

12 November, 2021

GLENELP is apparently a small seaside city that very few locals know about. Unfamiliar even to Google Maps, which keeps...

Old Commodore parked by Kuitpo signals start of ‘shroom season

18 June, 2019

18 June, 2019

A TRIP TO THE FOREST: Psychedelic Mushroom hunting season was declared open last week with the initiatory shitbox sighting on Brookman...

China finds crafty solution to Baby Formula problem

26 November, 2019

26 November, 2019

With the aftermath of 2008’s Chinese milk scandal still looming over parents’ minds across the country, one Chinese company has...

Empty Port Adelaide shed makes way for empty apartment building

18 April, 2019

18 April, 2019

The State Government has stepped into the ring in a fight over a historic shed in Port Adelaide, overruling a...

Old Le Cornu site to become new Swedish Furniture store ‘De Körneu’

22 May, 2019

22 May, 2019

The Adelaide City Council has made the announcement of what will finally be done with the ever controversial old Le...

LOL, Melbourne thinks this is a beach

10 December, 2019

10 December, 2019

In a city where locals will constantly remind you it’s “world’s most livable” and also frequently awarded “world’s most consistently...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: