21 January, 2021 South Australia's other fake news source

Woman hailed as genius for finding secret express route from City to TTP

TRENT BARTLETT

Victorian motorist Ransack Platoon has been labelled as a genius by motoring groups after discovering a shortcut that could spell the end of traffic woes for all North-East commuters.

Platoon was driving out of Adelaide via East Terrace on her way to visit family in Modbury. Running short on time, the motorist was on the lookout for any shortcuts that might trim down the otherwise 25 minute journey.

I don’t know how everybody else missed this. There are big, flashing lights right near the tunnel to get everyone’s attention

‘I couldn’t believe my luck’, Platoon told the Adelaide Mail from the back of a flat-bed tow truck, ‘I was just driving along when all of a sudden I see a shortcut appear in front of me. I checked on Google Maps, and sure enough, the road went all the way to Modbury’.

‘I don’t know how everybody else missed this. There are big, flashing lights right near the tunnel to get everyone’s attention, and yet everyone else drives the long way’.

Platoon’s journey along the O-Bahn bus route was cut short when her car’s oil sump was ripped out by a track safety feature, rendering the Mazda even more worthless. The Victorian, however, refused to let a non-operational vehicle dampen her spirits.

‘I’ll be back, probably with my Land Cruiser next time’.

To learn more about the hilarious history of the Adelaide O-Bahn, have a listen to this episode of AdeLOL, a comedy podcast covering South Australian history in a unique way:

Related Posts

Magic Cave now just a ‘Magic 3 x 4 metre room’

19 November, 2018

19 November, 2018

Budget cuts and declining sponsors have hit the Magic Cave hard this year, with Santa and his entire grotto allocated...

Empty Port Adelaide shed makes way for empty apartment building

18 April, 2019

18 April, 2019

The State Government has stepped into the ring in a fight over a historic shed in Port Adelaide, overruling a...

Nobody asking ‘why no Adelaide?’ about this band’s tour for some reason

13 February, 2019

13 February, 2019

Dozens of international bands tour Australia each year, with many of them bypassing South Australia’s capital in favour of its...

Interstate comedian tries his hand at some groundbreaking Snowtown jokes

17 January, 2020

17 January, 2020

A Victorian comedian whose only knowledge of South Australia comes through Kane Cornes’s Twitter spats, stories from an uncle who...

Local man puts on a few KGs while working from home

3 July, 2020

3 July, 2020

Part time pool cleaner and Valley View resident Al Lapanna has been working from home since COVID-19 hit (not for...

Port Power to continue playing to empty stadiums amid crowd ban

11 March, 2020

11 March, 2020

TOM STEWART Port Power are reportedly excited for “business as usual” this season, as the AFL is speculated to announce...

New sports radio station 1629 SEN releases coverage map

10 December, 2018

10 December, 2018

Following questions about the breadth of new sports-only radio station SEN’s broadcast coverage, the fledgling station has released a comprehensive...

Decade old Puratap filter probably fine

22 April, 2020

22 April, 2020

When Darren* and Amelia* (names changed to maintain anonymity) purchased their St. Clair property in 2010, little did they know...

Burnside SUV driver will definitely only be five minutes in the loading zone

20 July, 2018

20 July, 2018

Burnside stay-at-home daughter Jacinta Hyacinth was caught short this morning on her usual coffee meet with the girls at trendy...

90s Toyota Commercial still killing it at every SA Caravan Park

29 November, 2019

29 November, 2019

The 20th annual Caravan Recreation Area Park comedy awards were held at Lake Bonney last weekend, with one classic comedy...

12-year-old Goolwa resident VERY happy with his latest artwork

29 September, 2020

29 September, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT It was a fleeting moment of inspiration that struck 12-year-old Pervis Persimmon on his Sunday afternoon walk past...

Adelaide Council announces ‘Brother Sculpture’ to Malls Balls: The “Grote Scrote”

9 November, 2020

9 November, 2020

DAVID KNIGHT With the successful unveiling of the new pigeon statue in Rundle Mall last week, Adelaide City Council has...

Modbury resident angered by suggestion she lives in Adelaide’s northern suburbs

14 June, 2018

14 June, 2018

Modbury resident Taryn Cooke has lashed out at fellow co-workers for mistakenly suggesting that she hails from the northern suburbs...

All we want to know about the SkyCity Casino upgrade is if they’ve brought back the horse racing game

2 December, 2020

2 December, 2020

The new upgraded section of the SkyCity Adelaide casino has opened and it seems they’re letting all local media in...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: