19 January, 2020 South Australia's other fake news source

Confused F1 fan arrives in Albert Park, SA ahead of Grand Prix

TRENT BARTLETT

Lanyard Boystongue didn’t know what to expect upon arriving in Adelaide ahead of the 2019 Australian Formula One Grand Prix.

Having never ventured more than twenty kilometres outside of Oldham — a town within Greater Manchester, UK — his image of Australia was largely informed by a single episode of Neighbours, a Walkabout pub and Rolf Harris, leading to an admittedly confusing set of expectations for a country.

I know it’s a street circuit and all, but I’d have thought they’d be putting the stands up and blocking the road off by now

So when Boystongue arrived in the northwestern Adelaide suburb of Albert Park for the upcoming Grand Prix, he was understandably underwhelmed.

‘There’s not a lot of people about’, Boystongue told the Mail, ‘I know it’s a street circuit and all, but I’d have thought they’d be putting the stands up and blocking the road off by now’.

Boystongue had been a big fan of Formula One in the early ‘90s, but fell out of touch with the sport after one particularly sports-heavy summer led to his wife vetoing all TV sport in the household.

‘Thankfully I’ve divorced the rotten old lady! So I finally get to see the famous Adelaide Grand Prix. Can’t wait to see Nigel Mansell go around the street circuit here’.

in News, Sport
Related Posts

More like “Slowa Pasta” says local comedic genius

9 August, 2019

9 August, 2019

As a group of friends decided to treat themselves 1998’s best dining experience, little did they know what was in...

Kevin Costner spotted in Ridgehaven filming Waterworld sequel

12 August, 2019

12 August, 2019

With Adelaide seemingly becoming a relatively budget-friendly locale for upcoming Hollywood flops, it has become apparent that Mortal Kombat isn’t...

Adelaide man thinks shirt smelling like smoke is the biggest issue as hundreds flee homes

21 November, 2019

21 November, 2019

As residents of Yorke Peninsula have fled their homes overnight, only to hear this morning that their property is lost,...

MIRACLE: PM somehow manages to make our Premier seem like a good leader

6 January, 2020

6 January, 2020

In perhaps his finest achievement of his Prime Ministership to-date, Scott Morrison has pulled off a selfless miracle, sacrificing his...

Port Elliot millennials start petition to change name of Boomer Beach

22 November, 2019

22 November, 2019

Undertaking the ultimate form of slacktivism, Port Elliot’s entire millennial population (a total of sixteen residents) have started an online...

MP Jon Gee caught pwning CS:GO noobs in parliament

1 August, 2019

1 August, 2019

Just a few days after being busted playing Solitaire during budget estimates, it seems the brazen member for Taylor, MP Jon...

Frome Street bikeway to be extremely beneficial for cyclist with very specific, straight 1.8km commute

29 August, 2018

29 August, 2018

After months of work, traffic restrictions, and millions of dollars spent, the new Frome Street bikeway is nearing completion and...

Pray for Kane: Cornes forced to scrap next six months of story ideas

4 September, 2019

4 September, 2019

Kane Cornes’s media career has been thrown into disarray after Adelaide Crows co-captain Taylor Walker announced that he will be...

Stephen Rowe delivers calm, reasoned response to Adelaide Crows loss

7 July, 2018

7 July, 2018

Sports broadcaster Stephen Rowe has issued an on-air apology after leaked footage surfaced revealing Rowe to have engaged in a...

ShitAdelaide changes name to MAFSadelaide

8 April, 2019

8 April, 2019

Originally a source of general ridicule at the expense of Adelaide’s drunk and poor, the mysterious owners behind Instagram account...

Redlegs ‘fan’ disappointed at first game he’s watched since 2014

24 September, 2018

24 September, 2018

Attending the SANFL grand final yesterday, self proclaimed ‘die-hard fan’, Simon Pleb of Burnside, was brimming with confidence. ‘It’s nice...

Something a little off about this 40 year old bloke still listening to Fresh FM

19 December, 2018

19 December, 2018

Kristy just introduced this Darren guy to the group, and he seems nice and all, but we’re just not too...

Guns N’ Roses actually pretty disappointed with Paradise city

24 July, 2019

24 July, 2019

During last year’s world tour, 80’s rock band Guns N’ Roses finally managed to make it to their ultimate destination,...

“Should have seen it coming” – Mr Bankrupt on his business’s bankruptcy

2 November, 2018

2 November, 2018

The saying goes that hindsight is twenty-twenty, and that rings true for nobody more than former Adelaide business tycoon Mr...

Rundle Mall spruiker seamlessly weaves passing chat into sales pitch

10 September, 2019

10 September, 2019

Rundle Mall spruiker Frank Ratta has once again shown why he was awarded ‘SA’s Most Tolerated Spruiker’ eleven years running....

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: