14 April, 2026 South Australia's Other Fake News Source

Confused F1 fan arrives in Albert Park, SA ahead of Grand Prix

Lanyard Boystongue didn’t know what to expect upon arriving in Adelaide ahead of the 2019 Australian Formula One Grand Prix.

Having never ventured more than twenty kilometres outside of Oldham — a town within Greater Manchester, UK — his image of Australia was largely informed by a single episode of Neighbours, a Walkabout pub and Rolf Harris, leading to an admittedly confusing set of expectations for a country.

I know it’s a street circuit and all, but I’d have thought they’d be putting the stands up and blocking the road off by now

So when Boystongue arrived in the northwestern Adelaide suburb of Albert Park for the upcoming Grand Prix, he was understandably underwhelmed.

‘There’s not a lot of people about’, Boystongue told the Mail, ‘I know it’s a street circuit and all, but I’d have thought they’d be putting the stands up and blocking the road off by now’.

Boystongue had been a big fan of Formula One in the early ‘90s, but fell out of touch with the sport after one particularly sports-heavy summer led to his wife vetoing all TV sport in the household.

‘Thankfully I’ve divorced the rotten old lady! So I finally get to see the famous Adelaide Grand Prix. Can’t wait to see Nigel Mansell go around the street circuit here’.

in News, Sport
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