22 January, 2020 South Australia's other fake news source

Mall’s Balls beginning to sag with age

Dan Schmidt

Since 1977 they have proudly been on display for all to see, but it appears time is catching up the big pair of balls. Now over the age of 40, signs of wrinkles and increased sagging are now beginning to show, particularly on warmer days.

Clearly this erection isn’t as strong as it used to be, but that tends to happen over the age of 40

‘It has to do with the natural composition of the structure’ says ball sculpture expert Gonad Mysac ‘clearly this erection isn’t as strong as it used to be, but that tends to happen over the age of 40’.

When asked if the sculpture could be restored to its former glory with welding, Gonad replied ‘That’s nuts, the only way to decrease sagging is through tickling’.

‘I’ve tested it a couple of times on this sculpture, but unfortunately it did not respond to the pair of test tickles’.

in Life, News
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