16 January, 2022 South Australia's other fake news source

Man plays quick 9 at Holey Moley before last year’s gift card expires

A Somerton Park man has knocked off work early in a frantic rush to get to novelty mini golf course and second date venue Holey Moley Golf Club, hoping to fit in a quick round of 9 before his 2019 Christmas gift card expires.

The notoriously difficult-to-buy-for Drive-In Theatre Usher Cormorant Garamond received the gift card in a company Kris Kringle last year from a disinterested colleague. 

‘I’ve been carrying it around in my wallet for the past twelve months’, says Garamond. ‘I thought I’d just rock up and I’d be able to walk up and play, you know, I’m by myself so it shouldn’t be too much of an ask, right? Well they reckon they can’t get me in until 9:30’.

‘I’m probably going to miss the family Christmas party tonight, it seems. It’s my son’s first Christmas too, but you know, he’s like four months old, he can’t comprehend anything. I’ll just tell him that it’s Christmas whenever I see him next’.

‘I tell you what he wouldn’t want, he wouldn’t want me missing out on a free round of mini golf because of some stupid, little party’.

I’m probably going to miss the family Christmas party tonight, it seems. It’s my son’s first Christmas too, but you know, he’s like four months old, he can’t comprehend anything

While we were talking to Garamond he was given the good news that a spot had opened up for him at 7:30. He then set out to find somebody to take advantage of his Buy 1, Get 1 Free voucher with him. 

We’d have loved to hang out longer and play with him, but we’ve got a thing on. By which we mean we’re going to go and sit at home watching Home Alone while frantically wrapping gifts that we really should have done ages ago but what kind of weirdo is that organised? 

Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals.

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