28 July, 2026 South Australia's Other Fake News Source

Stirling Woolworths fire causes $15 million damage as four trolleys of groceries destroyed

DAN SCHMIDT

Shoppers were evacuated from the Stirling Woolworths store after a large fire broke out yesterday afternoon, thankfully with no injuries sustained by shoppers or staff.

However, as the smoke subsides and the ashes clear, it has been revealed the damage is estimated to be over $15 million dollars. The majority of which came from four trolley loads of family groceries.

Apparently one of the trolleys contained some toiletries and a few packets of chips and cheese slices, causing the damage bill to skyrocket.

As the cost of living rises and price-gouging for essential needs continues by the supermarket giant, it has been speculated that by the time the loss assessors finalise their report, the damages will actually be 10% higher compared to the last time they entered the supermarket.

Woolworths shareholders remain concerned as to how this will impact dividends as $15 million dollars is approximately 0.0092% of Woolworths’ annual profits. That’s not a joke, that number is actually correct. Less than 0.01%. Let that sink in.

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Comments
  • Paul McCartney is staying at Mt Lofty House so he won’t be able to duck down to Stirling for his evening meal!

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