31 May, 2023

Tinder date downgraded to Hawker’s Corner after iffy message

A looming Tinder date has had its venue downgraded to West Terrace food court Hawker’s Corner following a questionable opinion on the quality of TV sitcom The Big Bang Theory.

After a series of seemingly witty messages (mostly just misunderstood references to The Cleveland Show), Kieren Sauté-Wintergreen fancied his chances with Junior Horse Tranquiliser Jen Goldslipper.

If you’re quoting Seinfeld, you’re starting off at around a Golden Boy, it’s a good start. A guy the other night asked if I wanted to go see Chunnel with him

In fact, Goldslipper was so impressed by Sauté-Wintergreen’s repartee that she reserved a Saturday night table at Hill of Grace for a potential date. However, after Kieren hastily wrapped up a flirtatious conversation because ‘Everybody Loves Raymond is on’, Goldslipper switched out restaurants to the more casual Africola.

‘I do have a bit of a hierarchy’, says Goldslipper. ‘If you’re quoting Seinfeld, you’re starting off at around a Golden Boy, it’s a good start. A guy the other night asked if I wanted to go see Chunnel with him. Bang! Out of the blocks, just like that! I got the polenta at Andre’s’.

‘But this guy’s really pushing his luck. I had to cut him all the way down from Africola to Hawker’s Corner when he mentioned The Big Bang Theory. I’ve never had a guy drop so far before. I’m really hoping he doesn’t mention Two Broke Girls or something because I don’t know where to go from Hawker’s…especially now that weird Daniel’s place on Rundle Street has closed’.

Related Posts

Breaking: PAC old scholar forgets to write ‘PAC’ in Tinder bio

5 February, 2019

5 February, 2019

In a devastating oversight that is already proving costly to his romantic chances ahead of Valentine’s Day, Sebastian Anglosaxon has...

Guy Sebastian also apologises for tagging Golden Grove Rage Cage in 2001

7 September, 2021

7 September, 2021

GUG SEBASTIAN: Early 2000’s typical North-East hood-rat and former Australian Idol Guy Sebastian has apologised to his Instagram followers for...

South Aussies to ask ‘Keeping Cool?’ a record 47 billion times today

20 November, 2019

20 November, 2019

With Adelaide bracing for its hottest day since March, Adelaideans are readying themselves for an onslaught of inquisitiveness about the...

Port Elliot millennials start petition to change name of Boomer Beach

22 November, 2019

22 November, 2019

Undertaking the ultimate form of slacktivism, Port Elliot’s entire millennial population (a total of sixteen residents) have started an online...

Adelaide 36ers to change name to “Adelaide BCers” to honour traditional landowners

8 September, 2020

8 September, 2020

MATT FREEMAN With the Washington Redskins finally realizing the bloody obvious, that their nickname is actually racially offensive, the Adelaide...

SA girl Cassie Sainsbury reportedly excited for upcoming “White Wedding”

19 November, 2021

19 November, 2021

TOM STEWART With news breaking yesterday that local girl Cassandra Sainsbury is engaged, it is reported she is now looking...

COMPROMISE FOUND: SA Govt to install new tram that ONLY turns right

20 November, 2018

20 November, 2018

After months of deliberation, studies and costings, Transport Minister Stephan Knoll announced on Sunday that the right-hand turn for trams...

Frome Street bikeway to be extremely beneficial for cyclist with very specific, straight 1.8km commute

29 August, 2018

29 August, 2018

After months of work, traffic restrictions, and millions of dollars spent, the new Frome Street bikeway is nearing completion and...

Person who calls The Grove “The Grove” clearly not from around here

28 July, 2022

28 July, 2022

A shopper in Adelaide’s north-eastern suburbs has turned a few heads this morning after referring to Golden Grove’s fourth best...

Regional dad hopes this Africola place does a good schnitty

22 November, 2018

22 November, 2018

Visiting his graduating son in ‘the big smoke’, Bill Wrangler of Renmark decided to take the family out for a...

REVEALED: Pelicans actually prefer to shop at TTP

13 November, 2019

13 November, 2019

As part of Adelaide Mail’s “you should know this” investigative journalism article series, where we expose secrets from around South...

Dad asks if you know what Myponga smells like

7 February, 2020

7 February, 2020

A Woodville South family once again became the butt of dad’s joke yesterday evening. An hour after the family’s Mexican...

Mix 102.3 accidentally goes 15 minutes without playing Smash Mouth

13 December, 2019

13 December, 2019

In an unfortunate series of mistakes that may cost Mix 102.3 in the year’s final round of radio ratings, the...

Premier wonders if his Photoshop skills will fool anyone

23 February, 2022

23 February, 2022

After opposition leader Peter Malinauskas posed for a series of shirtless photos at the Adelaide Aquatic Centre last week, Premier...

“Never doubted ‘em” says Crows fan who chopped up membership after his seats were moved for 2021

20 March, 2021

20 March, 2021

TRENT BARTLETT Former Adelaide Football Club member Jesper Cantankeron maintains that his faith in his footy club never wavered, despite...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: