25 May, 2022

Tinder date downgraded to Hawker’s Corner after iffy message

A looming Tinder date has had its venue downgraded to West Terrace food court Hawker’s Corner following a questionable opinion on the quality of TV sitcom The Big Bang Theory.

After a series of seemingly witty messages (mostly just misunderstood references to The Cleveland Show), Kieren Sauté-Wintergreen fancied his chances with Junior Horse Tranquiliser Jen Goldslipper.

If you’re quoting Seinfeld, you’re starting off at around a Golden Boy, it’s a good start. A guy the other night asked if I wanted to go see Chunnel with him

In fact, Goldslipper was so impressed by Sauté-Wintergreen’s repartee that she reserved a Saturday night table at Hill of Grace for a potential date. However, after Kieren hastily wrapped up a flirtatious conversation because ‘Everybody Loves Raymond is on’, Goldslipper switched out restaurants to the more casual Africola.

‘I do have a bit of a hierarchy’, says Goldslipper. ‘If you’re quoting Seinfeld, you’re starting off at around a Golden Boy, it’s a good start. A guy the other night asked if I wanted to go see Chunnel with him. Bang! Out of the blocks, just like that! I got the polenta at Andre’s’.

‘But this guy’s really pushing his luck. I had to cut him all the way down from Africola to Hawker’s Corner when he mentioned The Big Bang Theory. I’ve never had a guy drop so far before. I’m really hoping he doesn’t mention Two Broke Girls or something because I don’t know where to go from Hawker’s…especially now that weird Daniel’s place on Rundle Street has closed’.

Related Posts

Bogged Popeye blocks River Torrens trade route

25 March, 2021

25 March, 2021

One of South Australia’s most tolerated icons has found itself stuck in Adelaide’s main trade route, the River Torrens. Causing...

Uh-oh! This article is sponsored by some company, but we forgot who

20 February, 2019

20 February, 2019

After taking a look at The Betoota Advocate’s website and seeing how much advertising money we’re missing out on, we...

New real time fuel app helps motorists find cheapest petrol by simply eliminating OTR servos

14 May, 2021

14 May, 2021

The new RAA real-time fuel app provides South Australian motorists with current information about where to find the cheapest nearby...

Dog & Duck social media guy fucking nails it, yet again

3 January, 2020

3 January, 2020

While most businesses are finding it harder and harder to have their voice heard on social media, Adelaide nightclub Dog...

The Queen just found out Elizabeth is named after her and she is fucking pissed

31 May, 2021

31 May, 2021

TRENT BARTLETT As if her year couldn’t get any worse, Queen Elizabeth II has just learned that the northern Adelaide...

“SA wind farms to blame for Murray-Darling crisis, probably” – Morrison

14 January, 2019

14 January, 2019

Stand-in Prime Minister Scott Morrison has lobbed the political football squarely toward South Australia’s wind farms for the growing Murray-Darling...

SA Govt to start shifting truckloads of ‘Whinging Semaphore residents’

9 September, 2019

9 September, 2019

Following weeks of protests, debates and back-and-forth, the state government has finally arrived at a solution that will see their...

Old mate looking for roast buffet ends up at new CBD hospital

30 January, 2020

30 January, 2020

An event that can only be described as “not newsworthy at all” (even for Adelaide Mail standards) occured in the...

Confused F1 fan arrives in Albert Park, SA ahead of Grand Prix

14 March, 2019

14 March, 2019

Lanyard Boystongue didn’t know what to expect upon arriving in Adelaide ahead of the 2019 Australian Formula One Grand Prix....

Royal Adelaide Show Cancelled: Who will judge Nan’s knitted Golliwogs now?

14 April, 2020

14 April, 2020

DAN SCHMIDT News has broken that the Royal Adelaide Show has been cancelled for the fifth time in history. Previously...

Local tweaker very disappointed with “OG Speed Shop”

29 July, 2020

29 July, 2020

Local jaw-clenching and awake enthusiast, Aymon DeGear has voiced his disappointment with a Klemzig service station, claiming they are falsely...

Local “Teddy Bear Hunt” replaced with far easier “Mastrangelo Real Estate Sign Hunt”

20 April, 2020

20 April, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT Parents around Adelaide’s suburbs (looking for ways to distract their kids from the tedium of life that only...

SA tells WA ‘Only we have the skills to maintain problem-riddled subs’

13 August, 2019

13 August, 2019

With Western Australia circling Adelaide’s lucrative Collins Class Submarine maintenance contract, SA’s western counterparts have been told to ‘Back off,...

Bloke asking ‘Which Freeway do you mean?’ definitely not from here

5 November, 2019

5 November, 2019

A motorist who stopped at a Glen Osmond Road service station for directions to the closest mechanical likeness of a mythical...

LOL, Melbourne thinks this is a beach

10 December, 2019

10 December, 2019

In a city where locals will constantly remind you it’s “world’s most livable” and also frequently awarded “world’s most consistently...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: