25 May, 2022

Nu-Metal band sees potential in Adelaide Real Estate Market

With the Adelaide Real Estate market still representing great value for investors and first home buyers, a new agency established by a surprising party. 90’s nu-metal band Korn have recognised the potential of the Adelaide Market and established their own agency.

We spoke with head of the company, Head, regarding the drastic change for the band who stated ‘Look, we’ve done a lot of touring, and recognised that the cheapest Australian mainland capital is always going to yield good potential. Which is why we promptly called it quits as a band and set up a small real estate agency in Adelaide’.

If you like “Freak on a Leash” then how about this “Lease on the beach?

When queried about their lack of expertise in this area, bass player turned land sales specialist, Fieldy, replied ‘well we bring a lot of who we were as a band to our real estate practice, infact at Monday’s motivational sales meeting, the staff focused on the acronym “A.D.I.D.A.S”  which if course means ‘All Day I Dream About Sales’’.

Munky, rental manager, added “that’s right, if you like “Freak on a Leash” then how about this “Lease on the beach?” I got a furnished two bedroom on the Esplanade that’s certainly “Got the Life”-style a young couple may be looking for”.

When approached for comment, former vocalist Jonathan Davis just loudly rasped “Boom-na-na-nahhh-bummmm-na-na!!”. They try to keep him away from answering the phones.

Related Posts

Government shocked when video of weeping man doesn’t encourage tourists to flock to SA

22 January, 2020

22 January, 2020

A baffling marketing campaign featuring an elderly man weeping as he toured throughout South Australia’s tourism hot spots has been...

FACT: It’s called “Emo Park” because it’s the most depressing place in Adelaide

9 October, 2020

9 October, 2020

The midwest pocket of Hindmarsh Square is certainly an interesting place. There’s a giant dead fish skeleton, a dodgy looking...

Hollywood Plaza just happy to make the news for something that isn’t an armed robbery

17 November, 2020

17 November, 2020

As the Parafield COVID cluster tracing focuses on more locations in the northern suburbs, one venue has taken this as...

Peter Van the Party Man really just wants a quiet night in with the kids

13 September, 2018

13 September, 2018

It’s been over thirty years of non-stop debauchery for Goodwood Road’s most-famous party man Peter Van, but his days of...

Local man puts on a few KGs while working from home

3 July, 2020

3 July, 2020

Part time pool cleaner and Valley View resident Al Lapanna has been working from home since COVID-19 hit (not for...

34 year old enters accepting Cruise 1323 absolutely slaps stage of life

16 May, 2022

16 May, 2022

For Hayley Neilsen it doesn’t feel like all that long ago she was eating pills found on the floor at...

New reality TV series to be set in Barossa – “Tanundacover Boss”

5 February, 2021

5 February, 2021

As more commercial television content continues to be produced locally, there is one new series that certainly begs the question...

We rank Adelaide’s best TikTok stars

29 June, 2021

29 June, 2021

Whether they’re annoying shoppers while filming cringey shit in Rundle Mall or thinking their videos actually get that many views,...

SA finally reveals REAL tourism ad asking people to: ‘Perform Cunnilingus In The Coonawarra’

24 May, 2021

24 May, 2021

TRENT BARTLETT Off the back of a popular April Fool’s Day prank calling on Aussies to Go Down South With...

Adelaide Mail launches new kids’ alternate news service “Below The News”

4 February, 2022

4 February, 2022

South Australian children have grown tired of being pushed a constant mainstream narrative by the Adelaide produced “Behind The News”...

Township of Gawler produces another tradie

20 June, 2019

20 June, 2019

After committing hundreds of man-hours and thousands of dollars to a town-wide search, the northern Adelaide township of Gawler has...

Advertiser censors front page advertisement

21 October, 2019

21 October, 2019

Putting up a united front against secrecy and journalistic censorship, South Australia’s leading satirical news service has joined multiple papers...

Man considers moving after reading local Tea Tree Gully Facebook group

19 August, 2020

19 August, 2020

Less than 48 hours after joining the local community Facebook group “WHATS GOING ON IN TEA TREE GULLY”, lifetime North-East...

Supercars drivers somehow all leave The Bend on retail traineeship wages

9 May, 2021

9 May, 2021

TRENT BARTLETT Supercars drivers will leave South Australia following this weekend’s race at The Bend looking forward to a bright...

Milo Kerrigan inducted into SA Sporting Hall of Fame

22 July, 2020

22 July, 2020

S-S-SOWWFORSTRAYLLEEYYAH: The SA Sporting Hall of Fame recognises sporting heroes that have helped shape South Australian culture and inspired our future...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: