22 September, 2020 South Australia's other fake news source

Township of Gawler produces another tradie

After committing hundreds of man-hours and thousands of dollars to a town-wide search, the northern Adelaide township of Gawler has finally discovered its next tradesperson.

Stuart ‘Bluey’ Yairdaboiz has been identified as the latest lucky Gawlernian to pull on the celebratory tradie sash and tiara, as is traditional. With only 14,600 new tradespeople heralding from the town each year, the magnitude of the occasion has not been lost on the newly crowned sparky.

Having just returned from his prestigious awards ceremony at the Gawler Village Twin hosted by the cinema’s resident copyright law-skirting muppets Stedler and Weldorf, the Adelaide Mail caught up with Yairdaboiz to discuss the honour.

‘Yeah, living the dream, hey?’ says Yairdaboiz in a sentence, of sorts. ‘Not an apprentice anymore either, which means I finally get to stitch up the young lads’.

‘I got this little shitstain a beauty this morning’, continues Bluey, gesturing to a slightly younger apprentice on the Munno Para construction site.

‘Glued his pliers to his lunch box and then when he was trying to get ‘em off, I glued his hand to my nuts. And he was all like “what the fuck, bro”, and I was like “jeez, buy me a drink first at least”’.

Yairdaboiz appointment with HR is booked in for this tomorrow morning.

in Life, News
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