27 July, 2021 South Australia's other fake news source

Courteous paperboy throws Messenger right next to recycle bin

Loading up the milkcrate strapped to the front of his BMX each Wednesday after school, Jackson DeGoris prepares for his weekly paper-route, but with a conscience.

‘Most people don’t read this stuff. I know it, you know it, everyone knows it. Does anyone really care about the latest community grant the Rotary Club has received or what some primary school kid did to get a merit award from council?’ Jackson put bluntly ‘but hey, if they’re paying me to ride my bike, I can at least do my bit to make life easier for everyone.’

I don’t read it, not sure who does really, but he’s making my life easier

Over the past six months, Jackson has developed a very good aim to ensure the Messenger lands right next to, and sometimes even on top, of residents’ recycling bins.

Residents have been extremely supportive of the kind act. ‘Yep, brilliant idea’ Sharon Coulter states ‘I don’t read it, not sure who does really, but he’s making my life easier. Nothing worse than running over a wet one on the driveway and having it stuck there for weeks.’

When contacted for comment as to why the Messenger continues to be delivered to each household a spokesperson replied ‘look, a few dozen old people will go absolutely apeshit if they don’t get it straight to their door. And I don’t want to have to deal with that noise. So as soon as they’re all…you know, we’ll just go online’.

in News
Related Posts

Who fixed the SA outback rocket? Well, I’m glad you asked

21 September, 2020

21 September, 2020

After misfiring early last week, South Australia’s first attempt to join the space race with a rocket from Koonibba was...

Adelaide Crows external review results revealed: Shit’s fucked

11 October, 2019

11 October, 2019

The Adelaide Football Club have revealed the results of a six week-long, in-depth external review of both its on and...

“Emo Park” rebrands as “Ska Park” in attempt to brighten reputation

3 October, 2019

3 October, 2019

The north-western pocket of Hindmarsh square has always been a strange place. Along with being home to what was awarded...

Road workers bored with South Road, add some sick jumps to Blackwood roundabout instead

17 July, 2020

17 July, 2020

F**K IT FRIDAY: For generations road “workers” have been “working” on South Road in a quest to make some sort...

Kent Town resident drives length of North Terrace without being stopped

28 May, 2018

28 May, 2018

Dwayne Hoff of Kent Town could not believe his luck last Wednesday afternoon. As he hopped in his car to meet friends at “The Deli” in Thebarton, little did he know what was in store for him.

Chunky Custard to be inducted into SA’s Rock n Roll Hall of Lame

11 October, 2018

11 October, 2018

Since the early 90’s, cover band Chunky Custard have been donning the zany wigs, crazy costumes and slightly outdated references....

Bus uses self-destruct function after learning it will be servicing new Hackham to Hillbank route

19 May, 2020

19 May, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT An Adelaide Metro bus who recently learned that it will be redeployed into a new route servicing some...

“Sure, I feel bad for this whole COVID thing, but they DID steal our Grand Prix” – Premier says

27 May, 2021

27 May, 2021

Premier Steven Marshall has stopped short of apologising to his Victorian counterparts over a medi-hotel leak that has led to...

Government announce second road race for December – Santa’s Tour Down Under

28 January, 2020

28 January, 2020

MATT FREEMAN Riding a wave of excitement from the Tour Down Under, the state government are set to add a...

Modbury Triangle celebrates 14th shopper of 2020

3 March, 2020

3 March, 2020

In what has been an admittedly slower year for one of the smaller metropolitan shopping outlets, Modbury Triangle Shopping Centre...

Entire city somehow surprised by annual road closures again

26 February, 2019

26 February, 2019

Despite a predictable schedule of annual road closures preceded by road signs forewarning motorists weeks in advance, the entire population...

Desperate $5 Fringe show now accepting AfterPay

13 March, 2019

13 March, 2019

Photo credit: Abi Skipp Following several weeks of lower-than-expected ticket sales, the Garden of Unearthly Delights’ cheapest ticketed show — The...

Farmers Union to launch new milk-based sports energy drink

16 December, 2020

16 December, 2020

"The curdle helps you clear the hurdles"

Chairman Mao’s portrait to be replaced with image of Pasquale Mastrangelo

16 August, 2018

16 August, 2018

The famous gates of Beijing’s Forbidden City are about to receive a real estate agent-inspired makeover, courtesy of Adelaide commercial...

Fringe show releases new promotional image following KKK backlash

22 January, 2020

22 January, 2020

Adelaide Fringe has responded to an online petition urging them to pull support of a controversial BDSM show after an...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: