25 February, 2021 South Australia's other fake news source

Westfield vastly overestimating how much people actually want to go to Tea Tree Plaza

DAN SCHMIDT

As Westfield Tea Tree Plaza shopping centre plans to enforce paid parking, one thing they haven’t considered is that nobody actually wants to be there anyway.

Whilst T.T.P. (short for “That Terrible Place”) doesn’t provide a high-end classy retail experience like Pelican Plaza, it feels that time has come to actually make the ordeal of going to The Plaza even worse.

Tea Tree Plaza first implemented new parking initiatives with the expansion of the centre to make room for more mobile phone case kiosks and stores. After the expansion, TTP decided to not replace any lost car parks and then give more car spaces to an expensive car wash business. This move is not only ridiculous for the reason that it results in fewer parking spaces, but everyone knows that if you leave your car parked anywhere at TTP long enough, you will have it cleaned for free from teenagers sitting on it.

A TTP spokesperson has stated they’re doing this to “enhance the shopping experience”. How about fixing the raw sewerage smell outside of Target first to enhance the shopping experience?

We guess this is a way to help pay for the new water feature, the one from the ceiling outside of Coles when it rains.

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