14 May, 2021 South Australia's other fake news source

Westfield vastly overestimating how much people actually want to go to Tea Tree Plaza

DAN SCHMIDT

As Westfield Tea Tree Plaza shopping centre plans to enforce paid parking, one thing they haven’t considered is that nobody actually wants to be there anyway.

Whilst T.T.P. (short for “That Terrible Place”) doesn’t provide a high-end classy retail experience like Pelican Plaza, it feels that time has come to actually make the ordeal of going to The Plaza even worse.

Tea Tree Plaza first implemented new parking initiatives with the expansion of the centre to make room for more mobile phone case kiosks and stores. After the expansion, TTP decided to not replace any lost car parks and then give more car spaces to an expensive car wash business. This move is not only ridiculous for the reason that it results in fewer parking spaces, but everyone knows that if you leave your car parked anywhere at TTP long enough, you will have it cleaned for free from teenagers sitting on it.

A TTP spokesperson has stated they’re doing this to “enhance the shopping experience”. How about fixing the raw sewerage smell outside of Target first to enhance the shopping experience?

We guess this is a way to help pay for the new water feature, the one from the ceiling outside of Coles when it rains.

Related Posts

Milo Kerrigan inducted into SA Sporting Hall of Fame

22 July, 2020

22 July, 2020

S-S-SOWWFORSTRAYLLEEYYAH: The SA Sporting Hall of Fame recognises sporting heroes that have helped shape South Australian culture and inspired our future...

Turns out Flagstaff Road was just an elaborate prank on motorists from the northern suburbs

30 September, 2020

30 September, 2020

As South Australia gears itself to farewell the last of its reversible roads, the state’s Minister for One-Way Roads, Hovercraft...

Addicts reduced to drinking Dare as iced coffee shortage hits

16 April, 2019

16 April, 2019

With the state in the midst of a regional Farmers Union Iced Coffee shortage, scores of heavily-addicted South Australians have...

Subscribe to Adelaide Mail for a free set of headphones

25 June, 2019

25 June, 2019

With the state’s largest satirical newspaper, The Advertiser, currently attempting to lure the fellow kids into subscribing to their state...

Business who still hasn’t added 8 to phone number probably shonky

18 October, 2019

18 October, 2019

A television and VCR repair shop on Goodwood Road in Adelaide’s inner south is staring the wind of change in...

Two die, one completes entire med degree queuing at Pt Elliot bakery

30 April, 2019

30 April, 2019

For the third time in as many years, wait times at a popular bakery in south coast retirement village Port...

CBD co-workers from opposite sides of city pretend to know where each other live

5 October, 2018

5 October, 2018

As Harry North and Belinda Southeast sat down for lunch at their CBD workplace, conversation turned to the weekend and...

UniSA mature-aged student puts hand up again

28 May, 2018

28 May, 2018

eaking: 12 students from UniSA’s Magill campus are believed to have spent the last seven hours locked in a tutorial room after their course’s resident mature-aged student began raising her hand to quiz her tutor on a raft of trivial questions.

Glam Adelaide intern fired for only reposting Southport Beach stairs six times in a week

31 August, 2020

31 August, 2020

A social media intern at South Australia’s home of lifestyle news and filtered drone photos, Glam Adelaide, has been let...

New real time fuel app helps motorists find cheapest petrol by simply eliminating OTR servos

14 May, 2021

14 May, 2021

The new RAA real-time fuel app provides South Australian motorists with current information about where to find the cheapest nearby...

Study finds 97% of Medindie car crashes caused by drivers looking up Scotty’s kilt

28 March, 2019

28 March, 2019

The Road And Car Executive has released their most recent annual Medindie accident causation report, with some startling results. ‘There’s...

Decade old Puratap filter probably fine

22 April, 2020

22 April, 2020

When Darren* and Amelia* (names changed to maintain anonymity) purchased their St. Clair property in 2010, little did they know...

Advertiser’s top 100 restaurant list just Barnacle Bill 100 times

16 October, 2019

16 October, 2019

Usually the number one source of fish and chip paper itself, our State’s leading satirical newspaper The Advertiser has surprised...

Cyberbullying teens never okay…unless it’s Caleb Bond and it’s really funny

18 March, 2019

18 March, 2019

Cyberbullying is a cowardly act, which can be particularly harmful when aimed at teens. However, in the wake of anti-bullying...

Suburb of Manningham will be renamed Beingham to remove gender bias

3 February, 2021

3 February, 2021

POLITICAL CORRECTNESS GONE MAD?: The small inner-north Adelaide suburb of Manningham will undergo a name change after much council debate...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: