20 May, 2022

False Advertising: New South Road plans shows vehicles actually moving

DAN SCHMIDT

With the longstanding South Australian tradition of South Road upgrades looking to continue for at least another three generations, the latest revealed plans have caused confusion with Adelaide motorists.

Rendered animations of what South Road may eventually resemble have been released, and whilst most of it looks great for PS2 graphics, the absence of stopped vehicles queuing for kilometres has raised some questions. Mainly, “What the hell is this?”.

Director of Southern Highway Infrastructure & Transport, Mel Rose-Parke, has told Adelaide Mail ‘Yes, we’ve heard concerns from the public that the plans clearly show cars moving and a safe distance between vehicles. I’m releasing this statement to let the people of South Australia know they can rest assured that this is only an artist’s impression’.

‘As is standard practice in our department, we hired an artist from interstate to undertake the animation and they had no idea what South Road is actually like, clearly. When we asked for them to add more cars into the animation, turns out that was going to cost more and to be honest this thing is already way over budget’ Mel continued.

“Those traffic jams aren’t going anywhere…just like South Road motorists.”

Mel Rose-Parke – Director, Southern Highway Infrastructure & Transport

‘We envision that the new upgrades will create even more space and lanes for more traffic jams, ensuring the South Australian heritage listed icon will remain on an ongoing basis. And that’s not even considering the roadworks, so don’t worry’.

‘We are proud of this project and will ensure that people know it is absolute Southern Highway Infrastructure & Transport work’.

Related Posts

“Never drink Coopers again? I didn’t say that.” says man who definitely said that

3 January, 2019

3 January, 2019

MATTHEW DEVITT In an astonishing reverse of his staunch moral standing, Ascot Park man David Baker has come under scrutiny...

Looming end of winter great news for cable tie manufacturers

15 August, 2019

15 August, 2019

The looming end of Adelaide’s winter signifies two things for most South Australians: re-emerging from your house at night after...

Cosi reveals that he actually secretly fucking hates South Australia

13 October, 2020

13 October, 2020

South Australia’s very own Andrew ‘Cosi ‘South Aussie With Cosi’’ Costello has revealed a little-known fact about himself in a...

Number One! Number One! SA leads the nation in this one key statistic

16 August, 2019

16 August, 2019

There aren’t too many measures in which South Australia ranks first amongst Australian states. Mainland states that is. We remain...

What the hell is East Terrace’s deal, anyway?

29 July, 2019

29 July, 2019

For all the plaudits paid to South Australia’s most famous drawer of grids Colonel William Light, nobody has ever bothered...

Sober Sea & Vines patron can still hear DJ Ötzi’s Hey Baby in his ears

11 June, 2019

11 June, 2019

Having committed to a well-intentioned but poorly-timed ‘month off the turps’ Alsace Lorraine found himself as designated driver for this...

Boomer at work despite flu to ensure he can insult vegan fest attendee

28 October, 2019

28 October, 2019

While Adelaide’s vegans may be recovering from a weekend spent at Rundle Park’s Vegan Festival, one local boomer has dashed...

Crows fans starting to think this may not entirely be the fault of umpires

17 August, 2020

17 August, 2020

The one long-standing tradition of the Adelaide Football Club fan-base has been blaming umpire decisions for losses. However, with 12...

Barossa local, who definitely has bigger things to worry about now, is angry you’re saying NuriOOPTA

30 March, 2020

30 March, 2020

Of all the things that a Barossa Valley resident could be getting angry at right now, Larry Hyphen-Colon has chosen...

Suburb of Paradise hit with false claims lawsuit

15 January, 2019

15 January, 2019

The north-eastern suburb of Paradise has found itself in legal trouble with a class action lawsuit being filed by thousands...

The real puzzle is how nobody died

6 August, 2019

6 August, 2019

What was once South Australia’s answer to Disneyland, the theme-park and scrap-metal haven of Puzzle Park now sadly remains abandoned...

Wayne Weidemann’s glorious mullet immortalised in bronze statue

11 September, 2019

11 September, 2019

Never a city to be outdone by Melbourne, today Adelaide unveiled it’s very own bronze statue in response to Tayla...

Sydney mate won’t shut up about the size of our pint glasses

31 January, 2019

31 January, 2019

In an act of mental gymnastics usually only displayed by whoever our current Prime Minister is, our mate Dan from...

Woman hailed as genius for finding secret express route from City to TTP

13 June, 2019

13 June, 2019

TRENT BARTLETT Victorian motorist Ransack Platoon has been labelled as a genius by motoring groups after discovering a shortcut that...

Stephan Knoll offers to wash dad’s car and do more chores to pay off $30,000 debt

22 July, 2020

22 July, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT South Australia’s Transport Minister Stephan Knoll landed himself in a bit of mischief this week by accidentally and...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: