6 October, 2022

REVEALED: Dumpling King not even really royalty

As part of Adelaide Mail’s “you should know this” investigative journalism article series, where we expose secrets from around South Australia, today we are here to bring you a shocking truth.

It has been revealed that South Australia’s much beloved dumpling stalwart, “Dumpling King” has been deliberately misleading customers by impersonating royalty. Leaked takeaway containers and documents reveal that, not only is Dumpling “King” not an actual king, but there is no tie to a royal bloodline whatsoever.

Adelaide Mail’s team of undercover investigative journalists secretly obtained DNA samples from Dumpling King’s sauces, broths, and teas to send for bloodline heritage testing to ancestry.com. The shocking results showed that not only is there no royalty within the DNA, but ancestry.com have now suspended our account for apparently “wasting their researchers time”.

There is no tie to a royal bloodline whatsoever

Adelaide Mail has visited Dumpling King on multiple occasions in an attempt to ask for an explanation into its revealing regal replication, but each time we go there we get distracted and just order a whole plate of steamed dumplings, they’re just so cheap. At first we’re like, ‘there’s no way we’ll finish all 15’, but low and behold ten minutes later there’s a clean plate in front of us.

Once we finally did get around to asking to speak to the so called “King”, stating we were ‘from the Adelaide Mail….Adelaide Mail…Newspaper…like The Onion’, we were presented with two Spring-Onion Pancakes minutes later. As this has so far been the most valuable thing Adelaide Mail has received, we now consider this matter closed.

Related Posts

Girl lasts until 2nd winery pretending to care about tasting wine

27 January, 2019

27 January, 2019

Brooke Dogtram likes to think that wine tours are about more than just getting day-drunk for a nominal fee of...

Gawler line passenger set for great day after altercation-free commute

17 October, 2018

17 October, 2018

Startling footage has emerged from a security camera on-board an Adelaide-bound Gawler train this morning showing an entirely incident-free trip....

Last SA built Commodore honoured by being added to city car wall

14 October, 2021

14 October, 2021

With the National Motor Museum not being regarded as prestigious enough for the last South Australian built Holden Commodore, the...

Study finds 97% of Medindie car crashes caused by drivers looking up Scotty’s kilt

28 March, 2019

28 March, 2019

The Road And Car Executive has released their most recent annual Medindie accident causation report, with some startling results. ‘There’s...

Chief Medical Officer dismisses conspiracy theory that blames 5G for Caleb Bond

11 May, 2020

11 May, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT The state’s deputy-deputy chief medical officer Dr Morris Gypsum has dismissed a conspiracy theory that points the finger...

“Never drink Coopers again? I didn’t say that.” says man who definitely said that

3 January, 2019

3 January, 2019

MATTHEW DEVITT In an astonishing reverse of his staunch moral standing, Ascot Park man David Baker has come under scrutiny...

Lifetime Golden Grove resident still doesn’t know difference between Grove Way and Golden Way

30 September, 2020

30 September, 2020

Despite living at “World’s Best Address” for over thirty years, Dellfyn Targethill still struggles with basic geographical concepts in his...

Bogged Popeye blocks River Torrens trade route

25 March, 2021

25 March, 2021

One of South Australia’s most tolerated icons has found itself stuck in Adelaide’s main trade route, the River Torrens. Causing...

State Liberals sign sponsorship deal with Dulux in attempt to whitewash their reputation

17 February, 2020

17 February, 2020

With their reputation already facing questions thanks to former Liberal MP Sam ‘Wandering Hands’ Duluk, the South Australian Liberal Party...

Even 1079 Life FM hosts cringe at some of the Christian songs they have to play

6 March, 2022

6 March, 2022

Adelaide’s family friendly easy-listening radio station has long been known for the playing the latest inoffensive pop tunes, subtle messaging,...

Township of Gawler produces another tradie

20 June, 2019

20 June, 2019

After committing hundreds of man-hours and thousands of dollars to a town-wide search, the northern Adelaide township of Gawler has...

Facebook update enables prefilled “Can u deliver to Gawler?” question on Marketplace

18 August, 2022

18 August, 2022

The latest Facebook app update has been welcomed by Gawler residents, as the new prefilled Marketplace question will save them...

Steven Marshall reinvents himself with some snazzy new sneakers

9 January, 2019

9 January, 2019

Never one to shrink from the opportunity to imitate one of his federal government counterparts, South Australian Premier Steven Marshall...

Lost child at WOMADelaide probably better off to be honest

6 March, 2020

6 March, 2020

As South Australia’s leading world-music and body-odour festival goes on this weekend, a six year old child has been found...

New RAH carpark awarded Adelaide’s most challenging escape room

18 January, 2019

18 January, 2019

Escape rooms have rapidly become all the rage with teenagers, lame corporate offices, and small groups of weird tight-knit friends...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: