15 April, 2021 South Australia's other fake news source

REVEALED: Dumpling King not even really royalty

As part of Adelaide Mail’s “you should know this” investigative journalism article series, where we expose secrets from around South Australia, today we are here to bring you a shocking truth.

It has been revealed that South Australia’s much beloved dumpling stalwart, “Dumpling King” has been deliberately misleading customers by impersonating royalty. Leaked takeaway containers and documents reveal that, not only is Dumpling “King” not an actual king, but there is no tie to a royal bloodline whatsoever.

Adelaide Mail’s team of undercover investigative journalists secretly obtained DNA samples from Dumpling King’s sauces, broths, and teas to send for bloodline heritage testing to ancestry.com. The shocking results showed that not only is there no royalty within the DNA, but ancestry.com have now suspended our account for apparently “wasting their researchers time”.

There is no tie to a royal bloodline whatsoever

Adelaide Mail has visited Dumpling King on multiple occasions in an attempt to ask for an explanation into its revealing regal replication, but each time we go there we get distracted and just order a whole plate of steamed dumplings, they’re just so cheap. At first we’re like, ‘there’s no way we’ll finish all 15’, but low and behold ten minutes later there’s a clean plate in front of us.

Once we finally did get around to asking to speak to the so called “King”, stating we were ‘from the Adelaide Mail….Adelaide Mail…Newspaper…like The Onion’, we were presented with two Spring-Onion Pancakes minutes later. As this has so far been the most valuable thing Adelaide Mail has received, we now consider this matter closed.

Related Posts

Netflix to release Last Dance sequel about another team’s 97-98 former glory

17 May, 2020

17 May, 2020

As ‘The Last Dance’ documentary series about the 1997-1998 Chicago Bulls wraps up, Netflix has announced another series will be...

Holden fan angry about Clipsal axing fails to see irony in delight for Tour Down Under axing

2 November, 2020

2 November, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT A Pooraka local dressed head-to-toe in heavily-sponsored and dated Holden Racing Team apparel has expressed his delight about...

PM Scott Morrison takes credit for stopping the Buffalo

14 October, 2018

14 October, 2018

Prime Minister Scott Morrison has taken credit for stopping the land-bound, abandoned restaurant the HMS Buffalo while on a whistle-stop...

South Australia’s Top 10 WAGS

11 January, 2021

11 January, 2021

As a news outlet run by two men, we at the Adelaide Mail find nothing more enjoyable and appropriate than...

Unley Mum-of-three wine drunk for forty-seventh consecutive night under guise of “supporting local”

9 June, 2020

9 June, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT Unley mother and professional car park line-ignorer* Gelded Coolslap is looking at seven straight weeks without a sober...

SA Govt stops tourists entering state from late March under “Operation Business As Usual”

24 March, 2020

24 March, 2020

From 4pm today South Australia will close its borders to all non-essential visitors in response to the spread of COVID-19....

Thousands of Port fans call in ‘sick’, empty office chairs everywhere tarped

13 May, 2019

13 May, 2019

Thousands of Port Power fans from around the state have chucked a sickie today, knowing full well they are incapable...

OPINION: Politicians never lie about sources of income, pizza bar workers could learn from them

24 November, 2020

24 November, 2020

SEBASTIAN BOLD On Friday last week, a politician was furious, absolutely furious that somebody in the state of South Australia...

Every Polites building to be heritage listed in 2020

6 September, 2019

6 September, 2019

In a surprising move by the SA Heritage Listing Council, it has been deemed that each and every Polites building...

Chronically late coworker still using Clipsal as excuse for being late

25 March, 2019

25 March, 2019

In what is becoming a true stretch of coworkers’ patience, Donald Thermium has continued to cite ‘Clipsal’ as an excuse...

Vincent Rinaldo very disappointed by this so called ‘Fringe’ Festival

22 February, 2019

22 February, 2019

One of Adelaide’s leading hair and fashion icons, Vincent Rinaldo, has left a scathing review the opening week of the...

KP-24 sales skyrocket at Adelaide pharmacies

20 March, 2019

20 March, 2019

A wave of people have been heading into city pharmacies for the lice treatment, KP-24, and everyone is scratching their head...

Adelaide Metro bus driver sets heater to a nice comfortable 48 degrees

2 July, 2020

2 July, 2020

As we enter the middle of a mild winter, Adelaide public transport operators are doing the best to ensure the...

Prison Bar design actually based on smiles of Port Adelaide fans

28 September, 2020

28 September, 2020

As the battle between Port Adelaide and Collingwood around who owns vertical monochrome stripes continues, football historians have discovered that...

LEAKED: Shortlist of Port Adelaide’s other proposed new logos

15 October, 2019

15 October, 2019

Following the unveiling of Port Adelaide Football Club’s new logo commemorating the club’s 23rd year anniversary, Adelaide Mail can reveal...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: