1 October, 2020 South Australia's other fake news source

“Emo Park” rebrands as “Ska Park” in attempt to brighten reputation

The north-western pocket of Hindmarsh square has always been a strange place. Along with being home to what was awarded World’s Most Depressing Kid’s Playground 2008, it was also a popular meeting place for teenage emo kids in the early 2000’s.

Since gaining this somewhat deserved dark and dreary reputation, the colloquial name “Emo Park” has continued to stick, even long after the emo scene subculture and My Chemical Romance disbanded.

However, aligning with Adelaide City Council’s ‘re-activate, re-invigorate, and re-stigmatise’ action plan for the many depressing city parklands, a bold attempt to rebrand the park as “Ska Park” is currently in process.

Emo is dull, we wanted something everyone can enjoy, something upbeat, something, dare I say…Special. That’s why we’ve decided to make it “Ska Park”

Initially, community focus groups were all in favour for the change, as they thought the council said “car park”. However, once concept plans were revealed, residents were somewhat disappointed and generally confused.

Head of Adelaide Council parkland genre-reclassification Rudie Bois stated ‘Emo is dull, we wanted something everyone can enjoy, something upbeat, something, dare I say…Special. That’s why we’ve decided to make it “Ska Park”’.

The initial plans for Ska Park include painting all benches in a black and white checkerboard pattern, walkways to include a Skanking lane on the left, and employing the dozen or so local teenagers who still listen to ska to hang out at the park on a casual shift basis. It’s also rumored that local ska band “Daughter of Mum” are set to reform and play at the grand re-opening.

Some locals have deemed these plans as “Madness”, but Bois from Council remains hopeful ‘sure, some people will clash over the proposed changes, but once residents see it, I have No Doubt that Ska Park will become extremely popular for a very brief period’ stated Rudie.

‘This will be a whole new “wave” for the park, we’ll be installing new streetlights, our horticultural team will undertake an operation to plant new ivy, it will truly be a sublime place. Aside from that most of the park will stay the same, and obviously we’ll be keeping the Fishbone monument. I mean, it wouldn’t be a Ska Park without a real big fish’.

Adelaide Mail sent a message to Rudie late yesterday evening regarding an update on the project, to which he replied “Final proposal plans for Ska Park have just been submitted to my manager Tony. He’s a mighty boss, Tones. So knock on wood he will pick it up”.

Related Posts

Modbury High graduate furious at suggestion she went to Modbury Heights

15 April, 2019

15 April, 2019

It’s been over 15 years since Kelly S. Farm graduated high school to pursue a sticky-tape tester apprenticeship, but there...

300-year-old gum tree to be shipped in for Burnside Village redevelopment

10 March, 2020

10 March, 2020

With demolition works underway for the latest expansion to Burnside Village, the shopping centre’s owners have revealed their latest idea...

Could’ve been more specific, say mates meeting at ‘Shit Norwood Cafe’

12 November, 2019

12 November, 2019

A pair of old friends who had arranged to catch up at ‘That shitty Italian place on The Parade’ are...

Haggle guy reckons he could still get a Caffe Primo meal for $9.90

5 July, 2019

5 July, 2019

Despite not having a $9.90 menu or the iconic South Australian television commercial for several years, there is one person...

Stephan Knoll offers to wash dad’s car and do more chores to pay off $30,000 debt

22 July, 2020

22 July, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT South Australia’s Transport Minister Stephan Knoll landed himself in a bit of mischief this week by accidentally and...

Limited edition Womenz FruChocs released for International Women’s Day

5 March, 2020

5 March, 2020

MATT FREEMAN Menz Confectionery have released a special limited edition run of their much beloved FruChocs for International Women’s Day...

New “DogKeeper” package grants people $10,000 in Dogs Dollars for rent or Smirnoff Double Blacks

27 July, 2020

27 July, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT As South Australia grapples with the ongoing economic impact of COVID-19, the Federal Government has moved to stimulate...

City dads mourn the closure of their sole fashion source

17 February, 2020

17 February, 2020

Dads from around Adelaide have gathered to pay silent tribute to their sole source of clothing and style advice following...

Empty Port Adelaide shed makes way for empty apartment building

18 April, 2019

18 April, 2019

The State Government has stepped into the ring in a fight over a historic shed in Port Adelaide, overruling a...

Bazza the Bunyip statue becomes target of protesters for his “complicity in colonising Murray”

25 June, 2020

25 June, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT Murray Bridge’s monument to the mythical Murray River creature Bazza the Bunyip has become the latest statue to...

Kasey Chambers found to be just pretty enough for Elizabeth Schnithouse

1 October, 2018

1 October, 2018

Responding to continued questioning from Kasey Chambers, the South Australian Musician Attractiveness Commission has found the songstress to register aesthetics...

Thousands of Port fans call in ‘sick’, empty office chairs everywhere tarped

13 May, 2019

13 May, 2019

Thousands of Port Power fans from around the state have chucked a sickie today, knowing full well they are incapable...

12-year-old Goolwa resident VERY happy with his latest artwork

29 September, 2020

29 September, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT It was a fleeting moment of inspiration that struck 12-year-old Pervis Persimmon on his Sunday afternoon walk past...

SA Govt stops tourists entering state from late March under “Operation Business As Usual”

24 March, 2020

24 March, 2020

From 4pm today South Australia will close its borders to all non-essential visitors in response to the spread of COVID-19....

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: