7 July, 2026 South Australia's Other Fake News Source

Local man optimistic 45th Bertie Beetle of the week will somehow taste better than the previous 44

DAN SCHMIDT

In a bold display of misplaced hope and digestive resilience, local man Cole O’Pteran has declared that his 45th Bertie Beetle of the week is “definitely going to be the one that actually tastes good”.

Cole, who willingly purchased several large Bertie Beetle showbags containing approximately 300 of the iconic chocolate nuggets at the Royal Adelaide Show, has been steadily working his way through them since last Saturday. Despite describing the previous 44 as “a bit waxy, slightly dusty and emotionally disappointing” he remains undeterred.

“I just feel like the next one is going to hit different” he said staring at the tiny brown “treat” in his hand with the same optimism usually reserved for X-Lotto or a Crows finals win. “Maybe it’s aged better. Maybe my taste buds have finally given up. Either way, I’m excited”.

Originally created in 1963 as a cheap way to use leftover honeycomb from other chocolates, the Bertie Beetle has become a cult favourite at the Show. Not for their taste, clearly, but for their affordability and nostalgic value.

“It’s the Stockholm Syndrome of confectionery”, said Dr. Dianne Beatie a local snack psychologist. “People don’t actually enjoy them, but they’ve convinced themselves they do because it’s tradition.”

Cole was left disappointed with the 45th, but remains hopeful that one of the next few dozen will be just right.

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