17 January, 2021 South Australia's other fake news source

Vegetarian laughed out of Hahndorf pub

After folding to her friends’ pressure, lifelong vegetarian Kate N. Speck agreed that she could ‘probably find something’ on the menu at Hahndorf pub — and SA’s spiritual home to animal consumption — The Butcher & Cleaver.

Speck and a group of omnivorous friends sat down to lunch at the Hills pub only to find that all menu items contained meat, including the menu itself.

‘We Germans pride ourselves on two things, meat and bureaucracy’, says hotel publican Wernher Merkwürdigliebe.

‘We’re happy to accommodate any…requirements of the vegetarians, however, one must expect a certain level of, shall we say forward notice, yes?’ The “forward notice” to which Merkwürdigliebe refers comes in the form of seventeen pages of requisitions to be filled out three months ahead of one’s visit to The Butcher.

Everybody behind the counter literally laughed in my face for about ten minutes

Having decided to visit the pub some fifteen minutes before arriving, Speck had neither a booking nor the required paperwork.

‘I asked if they could serve me a plate of mashed potatoes and sauerkraut without the sausages’, says Speck, ‘I was willing to pay the normal price. Everybody behind the counter literally laughed in my face for about ten minutes’.

‘I’ve never been so humiliated, although I was hungry so of course I filled out the paperwork. My lunch should be here in about twelve to fourteen weeks’.

To hear more about Hahndorf’s hilarious history, check out this podcast episode by AdeLOL, a comedy podcast series that explores the funnier side of South Australian history.

Related Posts

Seeing a gap in the market, all OTRs start serving pancakes 24/7

17 June, 2019

17 June, 2019

With the Pancake Kitchen no longer operating 24 hours a day during the week, the OTR overlords have announced the...

We take a look back at ‘Crow Milk’ and the diabetes epidemic it caused

2 December, 2019

2 December, 2019

In the wake of current local flavoured milk wars, let’s take a moment to remember a simpler time in South...

Dog & Duck social media guy fucking nails it, yet again

3 January, 2020

3 January, 2020

While most businesses are finding it harder and harder to have their voice heard on social media, Adelaide nightclub Dog...

Colour blind uni student argues superiority of green and white cafe

5 October, 2019

5 October, 2019

A colour blind University of Adelaide arts student has found himself in an overly heated argument about the relative virtues...

Nobody really sure if the Red Tins thing is sarcastic or not

27 November, 2018

27 November, 2018

From twenty-somethings happily sharing the same beer with their fathers to bar owners happily off-loading their surplus of West End...

“Menz” Confectionery to change name to “Personz”

2 January, 2020

2 January, 2020 1

POLITICAL CORRECTNESS GONE MAD?: In a bid to gain greater market share and simultaneously not offend anyone, Menz Confectionery, the creator...

Man calling a ‘parmi’ a ‘parma’ rightfully run out of town

21 March, 2019

21 March, 2019

Jolkeep Johnton thought that he was masking his innate Victorian-ness well, he would pronounce the word ‘graph’ with an almost...

LOL, Melbourne thinks this is a beach

10 December, 2019

10 December, 2019

In a city where locals will constantly remind you it’s “world’s most livable” and also frequently awarded “world’s most consistently...

SA Govt stops tourists entering state from late March under “Operation Business As Usual”

24 March, 2020

24 March, 2020

From 4pm today South Australia will close its borders to all non-essential visitors in response to the spread of COVID-19....

Valley Butchers unsure why anybody would be offended by new sign

18 September, 2019

18 September, 2019

An Adelaide butcher who was found to have breached advertising standards by displaying a sign that read ‘Non Halal Certified’...

REVEALED: Seven Stars Hotel actually only has 4.3 star Google rating

7 November, 2019

7 November, 2019

As part of Adelaide Mail’s “you should know this” investigative journalism article series, where we expose secrets from around South Australia, today...

Sober Sea & Vines patron can still hear DJ Ötzi’s Hey Baby in his ears

11 June, 2019

11 June, 2019

Having committed to a well-intentioned but poorly-timed ‘month off the turps’ Alsace Lorraine found himself as designated driver for this...

Exposé: Balfours caught using caged footballs for pies

4 September, 2018

4 September, 2018

In a shocking discovery by Adelaide Mail undercover journalists, it has come to light that Balfours is keeping the footballs...

Griffins Hotel to start opening up for THREE hours a month to keep up with massive demand spike

7 September, 2020

7 September, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT It’s the hub of Adelaide nightlife around the north-eastern side of Hindmarsh Square. The Griffins Hotel is the...

Old mate looking for roast buffet ends up at new CBD hospital

30 January, 2020

30 January, 2020

An event that can only be described as “not newsworthy at all” (even for Adelaide Mail standards) occured in the...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: