28 September, 2020 South Australia's other fake news source

Vegetarian laughed out of Hahndorf pub

After folding to her friends’ pressure, lifelong vegetarian Kate N. Speck agreed that she could ‘probably find something’ on the menu at Hahndorf pub — and SA’s spiritual home to animal consumption — The Butcher & Cleaver.

Speck and a group of omnivorous friends sat down to lunch at the Hills pub only to find that all menu items contained meat, including the menu itself.

‘We Germans pride ourselves on two things, meat and bureaucracy’, says hotel publican Wernher Merkwürdigliebe.

‘We’re happy to accommodate any…requirements of the vegetarians, however, one must expect a certain level of, shall we say forward notice, yes?’ The “forward notice” to which Merkwürdigliebe refers comes in the form of seventeen pages of requisitions to be filled out three months ahead of one’s visit to The Butcher.

Everybody behind the counter literally laughed in my face for about ten minutes

Having decided to visit the pub some fifteen minutes before arriving, Speck had neither a booking nor the required paperwork.

‘I asked if they could serve me a plate of mashed potatoes and sauerkraut without the sausages’, says Speck, ‘I was willing to pay the normal price. Everybody behind the counter literally laughed in my face for about ten minutes’.

‘I’ve never been so humiliated, although I was hungry so of course I filled out the paperwork. My lunch should be here in about twelve to fourteen weeks’.

To hear more about Hahndorf’s hilarious history, check out this podcast episode by AdeLOL, a comedy podcast series that explores the funnier side of South Australian history.

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