26 April, 2026 South Australia's Other Fake News Source

Woman joins Port Elliot Bakery line now hoping to get lunch for Easter Sunday

DAN SCHMIDT

With the traditional Easter Adelaide mass exodus about to begin, the Fleurieu Peninsula will soon be overrun by metropolitan Adelaide’s middle class, creating chaos at seaside towns’ beaches, bars and bakeries.

One Adelaide woman has taken the step of leaving work a few days early to ensure she can grab a few pies and honeysticks for her family come Easter Sunday lunch.

‘I hope I don’t miss out this time’, said Agnes Saint of St. Agnes ‘My husband and the kids are coming down on the weekend, so hopefully I’m served and can join them for Sunday lunch’.

Equipped with a tent, sleeping bag and rations, Agnes remains optomistic.

‘It’s moved a bit since I got here. I can almost see the bakery now, which is a good sign’.

When Adelaide Mail reporters informed her that current estimates predict she wouldn’t make the front of the queue by Sunday, Agnes replied ‘Oh no, I’m not lining up for this Easter Sunday, don’t be silly! I just hope they haven’t run out of pasties by 2023′.

Related Posts

International musician moves back to Adelaide to start boutique counterfeit winery

20 August, 2019

20 August, 2019

Rumours have it that US singer-songwriter and previous Adelaide resident Ben Folds is heading back to South Australia for a...

UniSA law student happy to let you keep thinking he goes to Adelaide

23 May, 2019

23 May, 2019

Despite typically jumping to the defence of UniSA’s law degree, Esteban Cornbox is not in any hurry to correct you...

Adelaide’s own Squid Game?! We replaced the glass over the museum squid and a kid fell in.

26 October, 2021

26 October, 2021

Desperate to keep up with the latest trends in a bid to attract more readers, Adelaide Mail are here to...

Bloke who spent $900 on Home Lottery tickets very satisfied with his $75 Heatworks gift card

28 September, 2018

28 September, 2018

Troy Simons of Rosewater, lives by the old adage ‘you gotta’ be in it to win it’, and ‘win it’...

Despite their name, these things are pretty shithouse at jumps

12 March, 2020

12 March, 2020

Adelaide city has been flooded with hundreds of bright red e-bikes over the past week as Uber “Jump” launched a...

REPORT: Tim Noonan really just a poor man’s Xavier Minniecon

10 January, 2020

10 January, 2020

After eighteen months of exhaustive studies, researchers are still unable to formally identify what the hell Channel Seven Weather Presenter...

Adelaide Mail calls for Adelaide Oval to have ONLY Scoreboards and Hills

30 August, 2021

30 August, 2021

With former Liberal MP Christopher Pyne clearly rapidly running out of ideas for things to write about in satirical newspaper...

Guns N’ Roses actually pretty disappointed with Paradise city

24 July, 2019

24 July, 2019

During last year’s world tour, 80’s rock band Guns N’ Roses finally managed to make it to their ultimate destination,...

SA finally reveals REAL tourism ad asking people to: ‘Perform Cunnilingus In The Coonawarra’

24 May, 2021

24 May, 2021

TRENT BARTLETT Off the back of a popular April Fool’s Day prank calling on Aussies to Go Down South With...

Growing number of tobacco stores going un-firebombed thanks to fuel crisis

31 March, 2026

31 March, 2026

TRENT BARTLETT Concerned South Australians have begun speaking out about the unsettling trend of tobacco stores around the city and...

NANNY STATE GONE MAD! Asbestos sand to be replaced with safer plutonium dust across SA schools

17 November, 2025

17 November, 2025

TRENT BARTLETT A controversial trial to contaminate coloured sand with asbestos in sandpits across SA preschools has come to an...

Heroic Dad spending five nights saving Pageant spot directly outside Wakefield Hotel

7 November, 2022

7 November, 2022

FATHER’S CHRISTMAS: Adelaide dad of three and soon to be ex-husband to one, Pat Turnerty, is proving great devotion to...

“Adelaide’s so boring” mates already booking their third trip back this year

26 February, 2025

26 February, 2025

A group of Melbourne mates are currently experiencing a severe case of cognitive dissonance (even for Victorians), by continuing to...

Adelaide 36ers to change name to “Adelaide BCers” to honour traditional landowners

8 September, 2020

8 September, 2020

MATT FREEMAN With the Washington Redskins finally realizing the bloody obvious, that their nickname is actually racially offensive, the Adelaide...

Police QR code blitz enabling that one high school mate to go full Pete Evans-mode on Facebook

17 May, 2021

17 May, 2021

TRENT BARTLETT When South Australian Police stopped Con Spiros just inside the door of Adelaide’s classiest venue, the Skycity Casino,...

Comments

Leave a Reply

Discover more from Adelaide Mail

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading