23 October, 2021 South Australia's other fake news source

“Sure, I feel bad for this whole COVID thing, but they DID steal our Grand Prix” – Premier says

Premier Steven Marshall has stopped short of apologising to his Victorian counterparts over a medi-hotel leak that has led to a fourth Victorian lockdown since the pandemic began.

However, despite the Premier’s pseudo compassion he made sure to take the opportunity to remind Victorians that any form of bad luck to afflict the state might just be another example of karmic realignment for past deeds.

I mean, it probably only goes a fraction of the way to remedying the theft of the greatest event on the international sporting calendar

‘I don’t want to be offensive to Victorians but, maybe this is justice running its course for stealing our Grand Prix,’ the Premier told a gathered throng of South Australian reporters, who all nodded in agreeance upon mention of the words “Grand Prix”.

‘I mean, it probably only goes a fraction of the way to remedying the theft of the greatest event on the international sporting calendar,’ at this point all reporters and pedestrians in the vicinity had started applauding in agreement.

At this point, backbenchers who would typically be employed to stand in the background of a press conference nodding intermittently, wheeled in a stack of Marshall guitar amps and drums. Then an impersonator of Rock and Roll Hall of Famer Tina Turner emerged to inform the gathered crowd of what a big fan she was of Steven Marshall before launching into a rendition of Simply The Best.

It was very good.

Related Posts

“OK, who had ‘obviously fake number plates’ this week?” asks traffic officer in charge of office sweep

11 February, 2021

11 February, 2021

Images: SA Police DAVID KNIGHT A lucky SAPOL officer has scooped the pool at the weekly office sweep after correctly...

Adelaide Remember When: Sir Douglas Mawson became the first man to climb Magic Mountain

6 September, 2021

6 September, 2021

The year was 1915 when geologist and explorer Sir Douglas Mawson had just returned from his famous Australasian Antarctic Exhibition...

We don’t care about the AFL GF, we have something even better…the Northern Districts U12s finals

1 September, 2020

1 September, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT With the centrepiece of footy in Australia set to head north to Australia’s centre of footy, Brisbane, South...

SA Space Agency aims to explore Planet Nightclub

9 October, 2019

9 October, 2019

Since the establishement of South Australian Space Industry Centre, one strategic plan of the agency has been more important than...

PETITION: Rename Elizabeth Shopping Centre “Centrals Market”

20 February, 2020

20 February, 2020

A group of vocal Central District Football Club supporters have launched a rather clever (especially for Centrals fans) campaign to...

Dads all over Adelaide angry that you fiddled with the air conditioner temperature

19 December, 2019

19 December, 2019

Sure, it’s been hot in Adelaide these past few days. But that doesn’t mean you have to be fiddling around...

Don Pyke keen to sign Brodie Grundy to warm the bench in SANFL

27 May, 2019

27 May, 2019

With star Collingwood ruckman Brodie Grundy out of contract at the end of 2020, Adelaide Crows coach Don Pyke is...

Maslin Beach declared as exposure site (but has nothing to do with COVID-19)

21 July, 2021

21 July, 2021

With the list of local COVID-19 exposure sites growing quicker than that bloke behind the bushes, another has been added...

Tinder date downgraded to Hawker’s Corner after iffy message

24 June, 2019

24 June, 2019

A looming Tinder date has had its venue downgraded to West Terrace food court Hawker’s Corner following a questionable opinion...

Old mate puts Holden badge on new Camaro

30 July, 2019

30 July, 2019

With the release of American muscle-car the Chevrolet Camaro to Australia, avid Holden fan Beau Ghan was excited to somehow get...

New sports radio station 1629 SEN releases coverage map

10 December, 2018

10 December, 2018

Following questions about the breadth of new sports-only radio station SEN’s broadcast coverage, the fledgling station has released a comprehensive...

You WON’T BELIEVE what Kane Cornes said on SEN 1629AM! Mainly because of all the static

11 December, 2020

11 December, 2020

He’s done it again, folks. South Australia’s king of controversy and 2020’s Best and Fairest Servo Sandwich Hawker has made...

Adelaide Crows external review results revealed: Shit’s fucked

11 October, 2019

11 October, 2019

The Adelaide Football Club have revealed the results of a six week-long, in-depth external review of both its on and...

SA tells WA ‘Only we have the skills to maintain problem-riddled subs’

13 August, 2019

13 August, 2019

With Western Australia circling Adelaide’s lucrative Collins Class Submarine maintenance contract, SA’s western counterparts have been told to ‘Back off,...

Wayville Physio still recovering from closure of Mad Mouse

31 August, 2018

31 August, 2018

It’s been over a decade since the closure of Adelaide’s iconic roller-coaster the ‘Mad Mouse’, but the financial impacts can still...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: