30 July, 2026 South Australia's Other Fake News Source

“Adelaide’s so boring” mates already booking their third trip back this year

DAN SCHMIDT

A group of Melbourne mates are currently experiencing a severe case of cognitive dissonance (even for Victorians), by continuing to declare Adelaide “boring” while simultaneously planning yet another South Australian roadtrip.

This time, it’s Gather Round that’s lured them back, hot on the heels of recent trips for LIV Golf and the Adelaide Fringe along with the Adelaide Oval test back in December.

‘As if we’ve got to go to Adelaide again, it’s so dead there’ said Epping resident Dan DeNong, currently sporting a LIV Golf cap and scrolling through Gather Round ticket options on his phone, ‘It’s not like Melbourne where there’s just so much happening all the time’.

‘I got tickets to the Barossa Gather Round Games. What the hell am I going to do almost an hour out of the Adelaide CBD. More like “Bore-ossa” hey?’

‘Give me Melbourne any day’ chimed in Bacchus Marsh resident Carl Tonne, ‘We have food, coffee, footy, and all that stuff you get in a real city, you know?’

‘Sure, if you like boring shit like nice beaches and scenery and cleanliness and chill vibes then I guess Adelaide is a nice place to retire, haha. They’ve even got a stupid grass area to sit down quietly and watch the cricket at Adelaide Oval. Give me a seated Bay 13 at the MCG any day, absolute vibes’.

‘Nothing ever even happens there, which is probably why they constantly have to hold all these festivals and sporting events to make it seem interesting’ concluded Carl as he messaged his Adelaide friends to see who he could stay with again.

in Life, News
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