16 January, 2022 South Australia's other fake news source

Oh no! Someone confused “Emo Park” with “Emu Park”, let a bunch of emus loose and now it’s even worse

DAN SCHMIDT

Adelaide’s most depressing piece of parkland has seen more mayhem than usual today, with an unexpected yet understandable mix-up resulting in chaos.

Emo park in Hindmarsh Square’s north-western corner, popular for having the highest density of cigarette butts per square metre in all of South Australia, has become overrun with an unruly mob of emus after some obvious confusion by Emu Moving & Ostrich Services (EMOS).

The emus have quickly become accustomed to their surroundings and are adapting local behaviours including picking fights with passers by, picking fights with each other, loudly drawing attention to themselves, trying to act intimidating by blocking walkways, and picking fights with inanimate objects.

This has resulted in Emo Park somehow becoming even worse than usual, a feat which many thought was impossible.

The CEO of EMOS, Sonny Dae-Realestate, has stated that he apologies for the confusion, but is hopeful that the emus continue their unbeaten war streak and prevail over the park’s usual clientele.

We agree.

in Life, News
Related Posts

Entire train deeply confused by passenger getting off at Chidda

14 November, 2019

14 November, 2019

In a completely unprecedented situation, a passenger on a Gawler Central-bound train has alighted at Chidda Railway Station. Witnesses on...

Now here’s something we don’t mind Victoria stealing from SA

6 November, 2019

6 November, 2019

News has broken on several less reputable news-sites that failed Mayo candidate and novelty cheque aficionado Georgina Downer will be...

12-year-old Goolwa resident VERY happy with his latest artwork

29 September, 2020

29 September, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT It was a fleeting moment of inspiration that struck 12-year-old Pervis Persimmon on his Sunday afternoon walk past...

PM Scott Morrison takes credit for stopping the Buffalo

14 October, 2018

14 October, 2018

Prime Minister Scott Morrison has taken credit for stopping the land-bound, abandoned restaurant the HMS Buffalo while on a whistle-stop...

Shoppers still avoiding Tea Tree Plaza (Not because of COVID, it’s just bad.)

29 July, 2021

29 July, 2021

As restrictions on shopping centres lift, many residents of the mighty North East are still choosing not to head to...

Bloke’s tailbone still recovering after tobogganing over the jumps at Mt Thebarton

4 December, 2018

4 December, 2018

When a 14-year-old Alex Dangerfield visited Mt Thebarton in 1995 to experience tobogganing for the first time, he did not...

Next election, let’s just all vote for Cosi and see what happens

24 May, 2019

24 May, 2019

With the Federal Election over and not a great deal changing, aside from increased health-care costs for the poor, many...

OTR owners to install giant sun-blocking device over Adelaide

18 December, 2018

18 December, 2018

South Australia’s omnipotent overlords the Peregrine Corporation have proposed an eternal solution to guaranteeing demand for 24/7 convenience stores and...

2003 Seaford High graduate wears Year 12 jumper to commemorate the year he peaked

8 June, 2018

8 June, 2018

As he once again donned the faded maroon sweatshirt for a trip to the shops, Ryan Govern, 33, reminisced about...

Cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances

18 November, 2020

18 November, 2020

South Australia’s Psychic and Body Odour festival has once again been cancelled due to events that nobody saw coming. This...

Now a North Adelaide Resident, Djokovic makes noise complaint at 7pm on Friday

23 January, 2021

23 January, 2021

Whilst world number one tennis player Novak Djokovic has been in quarantine in North Adelaide, he has become accustomed to...

Dad starts saving good Pageant spot now

24 October, 2019

24 October, 2019

With less than three weeks until the 2019 Christmas Pageant kicks off, father of three, Doug Float, is dedicated to...

First stage of Tour Down Under won by lost Uber Eats rider

21 January, 2020

21 January, 2020

Today the Barossa hosted the first men’s stage of the Tour Down Under, a gruelling 150 kilometre slog even for...

Mental health advocate lodges complaint over use of ‘Mad March’

5 March, 2019

5 March, 2019

In an unsurprising turn of events, a university academic with too much time on his hands over the summer break...

‘What’s Sydney got that Adelaide doesn’t?’ says man who can’t find job

15 July, 2019

15 July, 2019

Unemployed volleyball salesman and indiscriminately parochial South Australian Conrad Junkles is often leaping to the defence of his home state....

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: