23 July, 2021 South Australia's other fake news source

Private school alumni excited for not watching cricket season

DAN SCHMIDT

As football season has wrapped up for the state of South Australia, the attention of Adelaide’s private school alumni turns to the summer of not watching cricket season.

Adelaide Mail were given permission to speak with 24 year old SACA member of 26 years, Master Clarence Seymour-Mitcham-Millswood, about the upcoming season, who stated he was very excited.

‘I will state that I am very excited’, stated the very excited Clarence ‘For us Seymour-Mitcham-Millswoods, not watching cricket is a great tradition in our family’.

“I’m fifth generation Old Scotch Saint’s Prince Grammar Brothers College prefect alumni, and we’ve been not watching the cricket since my family can remember.”

Already pairing his SACA hat with five different pressed chino and Ralph Lauren shirt combos, Clarence is nearly ready to not watch the first test in December.

‘Just have to update a few of the pics on Tinder and make sure the year after my school in my bio matches my age this time’.

‘Honestly’, said Clarence ‘I really don’t get why some people come to the cricket and actually watch it. Perhaps they just aren’t a proud not watching cricket family like us. I love sharing family cricket stories like the time my grandfather took a record 6 for 24. Can you imagine? 6 jugs of Pimms for 24 dollars? Marvellous effort’.

in News, Sport
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