25 April, 2026 South Australia's Other Fake News Source

Culturally significant South Australian historical artifact uncovered

DAN SCHMIDT

A piece of South Australian history has been uncovered in the Adelaide suburbs. The historically significant find sheds light on local heritage and the South Australian diabetes epidemic circa 1992.

The Farmer’s Union “Crows Milk” carton was uncovered by part time archeologist and full time milk enthusiast Josh Colbourne.

‘I couldn’t believe my eyes’, said Josh as he uncovered the modern marvel ‘I’ve heard of the legends of the sacred syrup, but never knew if it truly existed or was just mythical folklore’.

It is believed that the milk is responsible for 90% of all tooth decay and gum diseases in the majority of South Australians over the age of 35.

Local historians, anthropologists and collectors are currently debating what should be done with the find. At the moment they are debating whether this should have an exhibition in the SA museum or taken to the Greenwith recycling depot to obtain the carton deposit.

Although the use by dates states September 91, dads all over the state reckon it will still be alright to drink, stop being such a wuss.

Note: We actually have searched high and low for a picture of one of these in the past, thanks to Josh for sending it in to us.

Related Posts

Barossa local, who definitely has bigger things to worry about now, is angry you’re saying NuriOOPTA

30 March, 2020

30 March, 2020

Of all the things that a Barossa Valley resident could be getting angry at right now, Larry Hyphen-Colon has chosen...

Bowden plant sale customer will definitely keep them alive this time

6 May, 2019

6 May, 2019

Serial houseplant murderer Juniper Cortisol may have a track record in buying and subsequently killing all of her previous houseplants,...

Now here’s something we don’t mind Victoria stealing from SA

6 November, 2019

6 November, 2019

News has broken on several less reputable news-sites that failed Mayo candidate and novelty cheque aficionado Georgina Downer will be...

North Adelaide resident whinging about having nothing to whinge about

18 June, 2020

18 June, 2020

MATT FREEMAN The Adelaide Oval Stadium Management Authority isn’t the only one suffering with the lack of crowds at Adelaide...

Truckie was just holding out for cheaper fuel price

31 October, 2019

31 October, 2019

A truck driver that caused massive delays on the downtrack of the SE Freeway remains convinced that he made the...

QUIZ: Which Adelaide Road Are You??

12 December, 2022

12 December, 2022

Are you SMART enough to take this quiz?

“Melbourne is so much better” says girl who couldn’t afford to live there

16 July, 2019

16 July, 2019

Having recently moved back to Adelaide after a brief stint in Australia’s most consistently overcast city, polaroid photography student Edith...

“Should have seen it coming” – Mr Bankrupt on his business’s bankruptcy

2 November, 2018

2 November, 2018

The saying goes that hindsight is twenty-twenty, and that rings true for nobody more than former Adelaide business tycoon Mr...

South Australians tipped to consume $3bn worth of Zooper Doopers today

24 January, 2019

24 January, 2019

While many today will be doing their best to not think about just how high the mercury is expected to...

PAFC set to ban single-use plastic tarps

6 July, 2019

6 July, 2019

Renewing its commitment to sustainability, Port Adelaide Football Club today announced that they would be doing away with the single-use...

Girl lasts until 2nd winery pretending to care about tasting wine

27 January, 2019

27 January, 2019

Brooke Dogtram likes to think that wine tours are about more than just getting day-drunk for a nominal fee of...

New North Adelaide golf course to feature deeper bunkers for hiding Saudi human rights abuses

23 July, 2025

23 July, 2025

TRENT BARTLETT Adelaide Mail has been given a sneak peek at the redesign plans for the North Adelaide Golf Course,...

Keith Martyn’s 2022 South Australian Almanac painfully blunt yet precise

11 January, 2022

11 January, 2022

The Prince of Pascals, Keith Martyn, has once again accurately summarised South Australian circumstances in his annual (yearly) almanac. Whilst...

TAFE SA qualifications now offered on Foodland dockets with purchase over $40

3 December, 2018

3 December, 2018

The aftermath of controversy, audits, resignations, misconduct and corruption has led to TAFE SA taking drastic measures to ensure qualifications...

Another elderly tourist makes common mistake

25 December, 2022

25 December, 2022

HO-HO-HO-BAHN: Well, it’s happened again. In the early ours of this morning another overseas visitor has taken their vehicle onto...

Comments

Leave a Reply

Discover more from Adelaide Mail

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading