23 January, 2020 South Australia's other fake news source

Haigh's prepare store for influx of Greeks this week

Dan Schmidt

With the traditional Christian-Easter done and dusted and most of Adelaide in a pre-diabetic state, iconic chocolatiers Haigh’s have undertaken a hasty re-brand of their Adelaide stores in an attempt to secure the Greek market.

Assistant vice-chief of marketing, Iva Cocoabean stated that the iconic store frontage and shop interior will ‘go greek’ until next Sunday.

‘We’ve undertaken a lot of market research, and have found that Greek-Australians are typically buying their Easter chocolates at a reduced priced from the chain stores, so we knew something had to be done to attract this market.’ stated Iva.

Based purely on viewing half an episode of Acropolis Now, a Con the Fruiterer skit, and the Con Polites episode of AdeLOL podcast, for the next week, the Rundle Mall Haigh’s store will now run a Lamb Gyros spit and play LCD’s ‘Zorba’s Dance’ club remix on repeat.

‘The lengths we have gone to is quite extraordinary,’ continued Iva ‘in an attempt to gain the market we’ve completely redone the whole store, hired some of those dancing guys in the white dresses and even given our staff lessons in Greek-Austral slang. However, we know what will really attract the Greek crowd is simply lowering the prices of easter eggs for the next “cuppla’-days”.’

If you thought this article was slightly inappropriate, give a listen to AdeLOL’s “Heaps Good History” podcast episode about Con Polites. Sheesh, what a terrible Greek accent.

Related Posts

Adelaide Uni Law student splits RM Williams boots across 3 transactions after forgetting dad’s credit card PIN

9 August, 2018

9 August, 2018

A first-year University of Adelaide law student has been dealt the embarrassing blow of dipping into his own savings to...

Uh-oh! This article is sponsored by some company, but we forgot who

20 February, 2019

20 February, 2019

After taking a look at The Betoota Advocate’s website and seeing how much advertising money we’re missing out on, we...

Modbury man and Brighton woman begin long-distance relationship

3 May, 2019

3 May, 2019

Finding love isn’t always easy, but a couple from opposite sides of the city are trying to defy all odds...

Government shocked when video of weeping man doesn’t encourage tourists to flock to SA

22 January, 2020

22 January, 2020

A baffling marketing campaign featuring an elderly man weeping as he toured throughout South Australia’s tourism hot spots has been...

Man hailed as genius for finding secret express route from City to TTP

13 June, 2019

13 June, 2019

Victorian motorist Ransack Platoon has been labelled as a genius by motoring groups after discovering a shortcut that could spell...

“Never drink Coopers again? I didn’t say that.” says man who definitely said that

3 January, 2019

3 January, 2019

MATTHEW DEVITT In an astonishing reverse of his staunch moral standing, Ascot Park man David Baker has come under scrutiny...

Kent Town resident drives length of North Terrace without being stopped

28 May, 2018

28 May, 2018

Dwayne Hoff of Kent Town could not believe his luck last Wednesday afternoon. As he hopped in his car to meet friends at “The Deli” in Thebarton, little did he know what was in store for him.

Every Polites building to be heritage listed in 2020

6 September, 2019

6 September, 2019

In a surprising move by the SA Heritage Listing Council, it has been deemed that each and every Polites building...

All 17 South Australian rugby fans very excited

22 August, 2019

22 August, 2019

With the announcement that Adelaide Oval will host the State of Origin (it’s for some sport called rugby, we checked)...

Buffalo replica replica to honour memory of Buffalo replica

30 January, 2019

30 January, 2019

Just hours after it was announced that Glenelg’s landmark Buffalo restaurant would be demolished due to its state of disrepair,...

90% of new Mortal Kombat movie just CCTV footage from Hindley Street

16 May, 2019

16 May, 2019

Adelaide is set to become a key piece of cinematic history, with the long-awaited follow-up to 1995’s Mortal Kombat to...

Fringe show releases new promotional image following KKK backlash

22 January, 2020

22 January, 2020

Adelaide Fringe has responded to an online petition urging them to pull support of a controversial BDSM show after an...

Aspiring Magic Cave Father Christmas settles for Parabanks gig again

1 December, 2019

1 December, 2019

For professional shopping centre Father Christmas Claude St Velcro, it’s become a case of take what you can get. Every...

"Menz" Confectionery to change name to "Personz"

2 January, 2020

2 January, 2020

POLITICAL CORRECTNESS GONE MAD?: In a bid to gain greater market share and simultaneously not offend anyone, Menz Confectionery, the creator...

Plans for Anzac Hwy Le Cornu site revealed: Big fence, even more weeds

23 January, 2020

23 January, 2020

As Kaufland mysteriously disappear from Australian shores, top secret plans for the future of Le Cornu’s former Anzac Highway showroom...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: