3 December, 2020 South Australia's other fake news source

Holden fan angry about Clipsal axing fails to see irony in delight for Tour Down Under axing

TRENT BARTLETT

A Pooraka local dressed head-to-toe in heavily-sponsored and dated Holden Racing Team apparel has expressed his delight about the cancellation of next year’s Tour Down Under cycling event.

Skaifey McBrock (we’re pretty sure that’s not his real name, but he insisted that he call him that, also that’s his name on Facebook and given that we’re an online news publication operating in 2020, that’s about as much research into the matter as we’re willing to undertake) told us that ‘it serves those lycra-wearing, latte-sipping yuppies right for voting greens.’

It was a confusing sentiment, but before we could begin correcting him, McBrock continued on his rant that threatened to become very unsavoury multiple times before McBrock would stop himself and say: ‘Ooh, better not say that, or the PC brigade will get me.’

‘These cyclists think they can ride side-by-side up Bridge Road during peak hour, collect their government handouts and drive up electricity prices with their so-called renewable energy and not to mention they’re all…ooh, better not say that, or the PC brigade will get me,’ McBrock continued.

His ranting was only interrupted by intermittently standing up to take off his button-up, black and incredibly hot-looking Holden Racing Team jacket to reveal a button-up, black and incredibly hot-looking Red Bull Holden Racing Team canvas shirt. Seriously, why do these guys always seem to wear the warmest clothing for one of the hottest, most uncomfortable sporting events on the Adelaide calendar?

McBrock would have continued at this point, but we couldn’t think of any more ham-fisted and judgmental observations about Supercars fans.

in News, Sport
Related Posts

MP Jon Gee caught pwning CS:GO noobs in parliament

1 August, 2019

1 August, 2019

Just a few days after being busted playing Solitaire during budget estimates, it seems the brazen member for Taylor, MP Jon...

Decade old Puratap filter probably fine

22 April, 2020

22 April, 2020

When Darren* and Amelia* (names changed to maintain anonymity) purchased their St. Clair property in 2010, little did they know...

Resident of Not In Service always has entire bus to himself

4 June, 2020

4 June, 2020

A resident of one of Adelaide’s lesser known inner-outer suburbs, Not In Service, has continued to regularly catch public transport...

Haigh’s prepare store for influx of Greeks this week

23 April, 2019

23 April, 2019

With the traditional Christian-Easter done and dusted and most of Adelaide in a pre-diabetic state, iconic chocolatiers Haigh’s have undertaken...

Crows ruckman’s phone breaks, accidentally likes a bunch of transphobic and anti-BLM tweets

9 July, 2020

9 July, 2020

Adelaide Crows ruckman Reilly O’Brien’s had an absolute mare. Wouldn’t you know it, his bloody iPhone 8 carked it, then...

REVEALED: Dumpling King not even really royalty

11 November, 2019

11 November, 2019

As part of Adelaide Mail’s “you should know this” investigative journalism article series, where we expose secrets from around South...

Mysterious combination of words unable to be deciphered by South Australians

8 August, 2018

8 August, 2018

Strange and possibly cryptic signs have been posted alongside South Australian major roads and highways. However, it is yet to...

Calm down Jessica, it’s Lofty, not Everest

21 December, 2018

21 December, 2018

With a backpack full of rations, emergency supplies, and flares, Jessica Peak is fully equipped for her 3.9km Waterfall Gully to Mount...

Vincent Rinaldo very disappointed by this so called ‘Fringe’ Festival

22 February, 2019

22 February, 2019

One of Adelaide’s leading hair and fashion icons, Vincent Rinaldo, has left a scathing review the opening week of the...

Burnside teen reports child abuse after dad refuses to buy her BMW X3

28 August, 2019

28 August, 2019

A 16-year-old Burnside girl has resorted to reporting her father to the Department for Child Protection after he refused to...

Johnny Haysman eats 2kg bag of sugar in attempt to gain YouTube subscribers

6 March, 2019

6 March, 2019

In an attempt to appeal to a younger market and beat the YouTube algorithm, local eccentric Adelaide legend John Haysman...

New RAH carpark awarded Adelaide’s most challenging escape room

18 January, 2019

18 January, 2019

Escape rooms have rapidly become all the rage with teenagers, lame corporate offices, and small groups of weird tight-knit friends...

Just FYI, that Whispering Wall is a dirty snitch

15 July, 2020

15 July, 2020

DAM SNITCH: We all have secrets. Some large, some small, some downright incriminating. But when we confide in someone or...

Jase reckons he could have his own Fringe show, mates agree

18 February, 2019

18 February, 2019

After having watched exactly 275 minutes of stand up comedy in his life, Jason ‘Jase’ Breadhand became convinced of his...

Now here’s something we don’t mind Victoria stealing from SA

6 November, 2019

6 November, 2019

News has broken on several less reputable news-sites that failed Mayo candidate and novelty cheque aficionado Georgina Downer will be...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: