9 April, 2020 South Australia's other fake news source

Kevin Costner spotted in Ridgehaven filming Waterworld sequel

With Adelaide seemingly becoming a relatively budget-friendly locale for upcoming Hollywood flops, it has become apparent that Mortal Kombat isn’t the only film being produced here at the moment.

Tin Cup star, and one of those ‘actors you can’t remember exactly what they really look like, but when you see them you know who it is’, Kevin Costner has been spotted filming the sequel to what was once the most expensive film ever made, right here in our very own Waterworld.

Adelaide Mail spoke exclusively with Costner about the upcoming motion picture and why Ridgehaven was chosen as the central set. Costner stated ‘The choice was obvious really. Production costs blew out massively in the first Waterworld movie in 1995 because of all the time actually filming at sea and my Beanie Baby addiction. However this time, there’s already an entire Waterworld built, which will really reduce production costs’.

We’ll figure out the plot along the way, that’s the way it happened with the first one

Costner continued ‘Plus it’s got everything we need for a post-apocalyptic setting. With some clever camera angles and a little bit of CGI, Ridgehaven can quite easily appear to be part of a doomsday stricken hell-hole.’

However, Costner admits there may be some slight issues when it comes to the production of the movie, but these can also be used to an advantage. ‘Well for one, there’s the “mums and bubs splash time” session Tuesday mornings which could get in the way. But I have a plan to make it look like I’m saving those babies from brainwashed Sirens trying to sacrifice them to the Sea Gods by drowning or something, I don’t know yet, we’ll figure out the plot along the way, that’s the way it happened with the first one. Plus we won’t tell the mums either, that way their genuine concern of a man taking snatching their baby will really shine through on camera’.

‘Second, there’s a lot of ducks at Waterworld, what the hell is with that? Little green slimy poos everywhere. But I’ll just make these ducks, and their poo, an integral part of the sequel script as my only form of sustenance in this barren wasteland. Third, kids at the skate park keep making fun of my costumes. And also, the slides are too expensive to go on and not as good as the old ones. But did you hear that people once put razorblades on them? And the Aquatic Centre slides, and Greenhills, and The Beachouse, and probably anywhere in Adelaide where there’s a waterslide? Crazy, huh?’

Budding South Australian underpaid extras will also get a chance to star in “Waterworld 2: Revenge of the Gully Gusher”, apparently whether they like it or not according to Costner. ‘All Waterworld attendees may appear in the film as I’ll be undertaking a lot of covert filming, mostly with my iPhone. So who knows? Maybe you’ll be in a starring role as ‘The Cornetto Pirate’, ‘The Speedo Bandit’ or ‘The Changeroom Mistress’’.

When asked about when the rest of the production team would be arriving in Ridgehaven, Costner replied ‘Oh no, it’s just me’.

Related Posts

New Adelaide bar without a neon sign probably doomed

11 September, 2019

11 September, 2019

It’s in a prime location and serves the best cocktails in a welcoming environment, but something is missing at Adelaide’s...

Crows fans oddly supportive of cancellation of AFL season

16 March, 2020

16 March, 2020

Crows fans are throwing their support behind the permanent cancellation of AFL matches as a precaution to the growing threat...

LOL, Melbourne thinks this is a beach

10 December, 2019

10 December, 2019

In a city where locals will constantly remind you it’s “world’s most livable” and also frequently awarded “world’s most consistently...

36ers import players to be paid in ‘exposure’ for 2019/20 NBL season

23 September, 2019

23 September, 2019

The Adelaide 36ers administration vow that they have learnt their lesson after attempting to pay an Aboriginal artist for her...

Crows fan fires up the old VCR again to feel better

8 July, 2019

8 July, 2019

After a shocking Showdown loss over the weekend, one-eyed (her good one) Adelaide Crows fan Rose Parque has decided to...

Greenhills Adventure Park equipment repurposed for new ‘Greenhill Road Adventure Park’

1 February, 2019

1 February, 2019

After closing over two years ago, Victor Harbor’s biggest attraction and insurance liability Greenhills Adventure Park will have a new...

Car controlled by bees still more courteous than most Adelaide drivers

26 September, 2019

26 September, 2019

In a growing trend to worry drivers and parents across Adelaide, South Australian motorists are surrendering their cars to swarms...

Pray for Kane: Cornes forced to scrap next six months of story ideas

4 September, 2019

4 September, 2019

Kane Cornes’s media career has been thrown into disarray after Adelaide Crows co-captain Taylor Walker announced that he will be...

Regional dad wears Akubra at Adelaide Airport just to flex on these city slickers

23 October, 2019

23 October, 2019

Nothing gives Bruce Jolliswagmen greater joy than getting to showcase how he comes from a regional area in the form of...

Lost child at WOMADelaide probably better off to be honest

6 March, 2020

6 March, 2020

On the opening day of South Australia’s leading world-music and body-odour festival, a six year old child has been found...

170kg Clapham man favourite for Bay Sheffield after being handed 105m handicap

28 December, 2018

28 December, 2018

Cuddly giant Kade Gypsum has steamed ahead as the bookies’ favourite for the iconic Bay Sheffield foot race after being...

Rail shutdown somehow leads to more punctual tram and train services

21 August, 2019

21 August, 2019

With commuter rail services shut down over two days in order to let transport workers attend mandatory meetings, Adelaide commuters...

Burnside SUV driver will definitely only be five minutes in the loading zone

20 July, 2018

20 July, 2018

Burnside stay-at-home daughter Jacinta Hyacinth was caught short this morning on her usual coffee meet with the girls at trendy...

South Aussies to ask ‘Keeping Cool?’ a record 47 billion times today

20 November, 2019

20 November, 2019

With Adelaide bracing for its hottest day since March, Adelaideans are readying themselves for an onslaught of inquisitiveness about the...

“SA wind farms to blame for Murray-Darling crisis, probably” – Morrison

14 January, 2019

14 January, 2019

Stand-in Prime Minister Scott Morrison has lobbed the political football squarely toward South Australia’s wind farms for the growing Murray-Darling...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: