As Year 12 teachers continue to peddle the lie that students should be starting to wind down their exam study as they approach the night before their exams, many students have now entered the traditional it’s probably fine that I haven’t studied phase of exam revision.
Claudette Bialystock is probably going to be fine. In the sense that she’s most certainly going to fail tomorrow’s Chemistry exam, but you know, I failed year twelve and look at me now!
Oh just while I remember, if you’d like to subscribe to the Adelaide Mail Patreon let us know. And for the last time, that has nothing to do with the above paragraph.
‘If I start right now then I should be able to go chapter-by-chapter through until 9am tomorrow,’ says Bialystock who for some reason chose to come to our office when we said a chat over the phone was fine.
‘I’m not procrastinating, if that’s what you’re saying’.
I was saying that, but honestly, I’m two days behind deadline for this article, evidence that nobody really cares about things like grades or deadlines or expiry dates on driver’s licenses anyway.
‘Once I get home, I’ll have some dinner and just need to finish off my Euphoria re-watch*, then shower, I can probably spend about three-and-a-half minutes on each chapter. And as long as I don’t sleep and can revise while driving, I should finish my revision about 26 minutes after the exam finishes.
‘Should be fine’.
*Or whatever the fuck Gen Zs are watching. Are Year 12s even Gen Zs? It doesn’t matter, our audience is basically full of 40-year-old men from the suburbs.
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