3 August, 2021 South Australia's other fake news source

Car controlled by bees still more courteous than most Adelaide drivers

In a growing trend to worry drivers and parents across Adelaide, South Australian motorists are surrendering their cars to swarms of bees in what we assume is some kind of paganistic ritualistic sacrifice.

The bee-cars have so far been spotted at Christies Beach and Marion Shopping Centre, with unconfirmed reports coming from as far north as Virginia. Although that could have been other insects undertaking copycat operations, like a big bunch of stupid ants.

We’ve only had a few dozen cases of the swarms of bees stinging other motorists en masse

‘They’re really nothing to be afraid of’, says Professional Bee Man Simon Pollyncroft, who we assume is somebody who works with bees and not some kind of half-man half-bee creature. ‘In fact, they’ve proven to be quite polite motorists once they forcibly take over people’s cars’.

‘They always indicate well before and out of roundabouts, they let other motorists merge into their lanes and we’ve only had a few dozen cases of the swarms of bees stinging other motorists en masse. You can’t say that about most Adelaide drivers’.

However, Simon has some reassuring words for anybody worried about the growing trend in bee-controlled cars, telling Adelaide Mail: ‘we’ve probably only got another ten years of bees on this earth anyway. I think learning to drive was just on their bucket list before mass extinction.

in News, Travel
Related Posts

Magic Cave now just a ‘Magic 3 x 4 metre room’

19 November, 2018

19 November, 2018

Budget cuts and declining sponsors have hit the Magic Cave hard this year, with Santa and his entire grotto allocated...

Prison Bar design actually based on smiles of Port Adelaide fans

28 September, 2020

28 September, 2020

As the battle between Port Adelaide and Collingwood around who owns vertical monochrome stripes continues, football historians have discovered that...

Unique SA strain of virus now being found in Victoria

15 March, 2020

15 March, 2020

DIRK SPUD In worrying signs that we may be reaching a point of no return when it comes to its...

Remember when K-Mart was still called Keith-Martyn’s? And only sold Keith Martyn Almanacs?

4 May, 2020

4 May, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT We’re sure that older readers of Adelaide Mail remember this. In fact, if you do you are probably...

Limited edition Womenz FruChocs released for International Women’s Day

5 March, 2020

5 March, 2020

MATT FREEMAN Menz Confectionery have released a special limited edition run of their much beloved FruChocs for International Women’s Day...

Latest Georgina Downer anti-ALP advertisement seems legit

25 February, 2019

25 February, 2019

Despite the controversial first video starring a “concerned citizen” who just happened to be the previous State Director of the...

Dad asks if you know what Myponga smells like

7 February, 2020

7 February, 2020

A Woodville South family once again became the butt of dad’s joke yesterday evening. An hour after the family’s Mexican...

Haigh’s prepare store for influx of Greeks this week

23 April, 2019

23 April, 2019

With the traditional Christian-Easter done and dusted and most of Adelaide in a pre-diabetic state, iconic chocolatiers Haigh’s have undertaken...

Adelaide Oval Christmas Pageant limited to only 25,000 bagpipers

22 September, 2020

22 September, 2020

A 90 percent reduction on previous years.

International businessman pretty sure he’s at the wrong Hilton Hotel

30 May, 2018

30 May, 2018

Haruto Nakamura, CEO of Tanaka Electronics, landed in Adelaide last week to negotiate a deal with a local transformer supplier....

Residents of Shithöle angered at being compared to Adelaide

25 September, 2019

25 September, 2019

The small village of Shithöle lies somewhere along the Eastern European poverty belt’s poverty belt, near the disputed border of...

Aspiring Magic Cave Father Christmas settles for Parabanks gig again

1 December, 2019

1 December, 2019

For professional shopping centre Father Christmas Claude St Velcro, it’s become a case of take what you can get. Every...

Port Adelaide celebrates 25th anniversary of really taking off in the next few years

16 September, 2020

16 September, 2020

This week officially marked the 25th anniversary of Port Adelaide locals, clueless investors and desperate medium-density housing developers all maintaining...

Zoran Matic, Damian Mori & Alex Tobin assemble crack team to lure Messi to Adelaide City

26 August, 2020

26 August, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT With Lionel Messi announcing his intention to leave Barcelona immediately, the world’s premiere football clubs have already thrown...

PSA: Victorians reminded to make their highly original jokes about Adelaide before midnight tonight

21 November, 2020

21 November, 2020

TRENT BARTLETT Victorians are being reminded that the opportunity to make their scintillatingly witty observations about the South Australian capital...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: