9 July, 2026 South Australia's Other Fake News Source

Woman makes mistake of going to Rundle Mall during school holidays

DAN SCHMIDT

Popping out on her lunch break to grab a few things from Adelaide’s eighth best shopping district, office worker Helen Urth didn’t realise she had made a vital mistake until it was too late.

‘Ugh, I thought school holidays ended last week!’ Helen told Adelaide Mail reporters.

Reminiscent of a public high school’s nearest shopping centre, Rundle Mall is currently in it’s second week of being swarmed with obnoxious teenagers who feel they are ‘too cool’ to visit the Plaster Fun House each day of the holidays instead.

‘It’s just too much for me’ said Helen, abandoning her quest for a moderately priced gift ‘The abundance of giant Monster Energy Drink Cans, bum-bags, scooters, and random attention seeking yells is all too much for me to handl-What?! No, I don’t want to be in your Tik Tok video!’

‘Anyway, forget about shopping here, I’ll just go to the Plaza on Thursday night, I’m sure that’ll be much better’.

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