28 February, 2020 South Australia's other fake news source

Guy who hasn’t been to the Casino in 15 years can’t wait to play that horse racing game again

Dan Schmidt

It’s been nearly fifteen years since Whyalla man Mitch Brokeslad has ventured on down to Adelaide, but an invitation to an old mate’s bachelor party was something he couldn’t resist.

‘We’re garn’ de-Cass!’ was the very first thing Mitch excitedly yelled as he answered a call from Adelaide Mail reporters. We still don’t know how he knew it was us calling and that this is exactly what we wanted to speak with him about.

The perhaps mildly-psychic man continued, ‘Mate, it’s garn’ be awesome. Haven’t been in years but it was wicked last time I went. Do you know they got this bar on the ground level and the drink prices are like a stock exchange, going up and down? Mate, I’m going to crash the market, because when I get there heaps of drinks will be going down…my throat!’

We didn’t have the heart to tell him that bar no longer exists, because he seemed so proud of the joke.

‘But what I’m looking forward to the most’, Mitch continued ‘is that little mechanical horse-racing game on the top level. Had some huge wins last time I was there. Heaps of fun too, all the lads would get around it, cheering on their horses’.

Can’t wait to cheer on those little mechanical stallions again

Again, we didn’t have the heart to tell him that the admittedly insanely fun mechanical horse game no longer exists. Reports state it was removed some years ago after animal rights protesters stormed the Casino and damaged the machine, hoping the horses would escape.

‘Tell ya’ what though, I gotta get some new threads. There’s no way they’d let me in wearing my usual shorts, sneakers and baseball cap, the Adelaide Casino is a real classy place’.

Once again, we didn’t have the heart to tell him.

Related Posts

Uh-oh! This article is sponsored by some company, but we forgot who

20 February, 2019

20 February, 2019

After taking a look at The Betoota Advocate’s website and seeing how much advertising money we’re missing out on, we...

Girl lasts until 2nd winery pretending to care about tasting wine

27 January, 2019

27 January, 2019

Brooke Dogtram likes to think that wine tours are about more than just getting day-drunk for a nominal fee of...

Remaining KI koalas go missing as news of PM’s visit spreads

8 January, 2020

8 January, 2020

As news of the Prime Minister’s visit to Kangaroo Island spreads amongst what remains of Kangaroo Island’s koala community, the...

Shopper actually finds reasonably priced product at OTR

2 August, 2019

2 August, 2019

With South Australia’s government mandated restrictive shopping hours in full force, partly enacted to ensure citizens patronise local family-run service...

Man really should start training for City to Bay

7 September, 2018

7 September, 2018

With a week to go until he plans on running 12km, Michael Walker of Glynde figures he should really start...

Richmond Road mural fined for deceptive and confusing advertising of state

23 February, 2020

23 February, 2020

A Mile End South mural emblazoned with the boastful phrase “South Australia leads the world” has been punished for displaying...

SA Govt to start shifting truckloads of ‘Whinging Semaphore residents’

9 September, 2019

9 September, 2019

Following weeks of protests, debates and back-and-forth, the state government has finally arrived at a solution that will see their...

Thousands of Port fans call in 'sick’, empty office chairs everywhere tarped

13 May, 2019

13 May, 2019

Thousands of Port Power fans from around the state have chucked a sickie today, knowing full well they are incapable...

Crows fan still angry about Ian Perrie for some reason

4 April, 2019

4 April, 2019

Their forward line has been a constant source of contempt for Adelaide Crows fans since Tony Modra packed up his...

New SA retail forecast in: All Rundle Mall shops to shut by 2021

21 February, 2020

21 February, 2020

The latest numbers are in for South Australia’s economy, and it’s not good news for the state’s struggling retail sector....

Bloke’s tailbone still recovering after tobogganing over the jumps at Mt Thebarton

4 December, 2018

4 December, 2018

When a 14-year-old Alex Dangerfield visited Mt Thebarton in 1995 to experience tobogganing for the first time, he did not...

Fullarton Road servo sells out of these sunnies for some reason

1 March, 2019

1 March, 2019

In what has been described by economists as an unpredicted and alarming spike in demand, a Fullarton Road service station...

Bloke ordering a Halal Snack Pack at Adelaide yiros shop might as well be speaking another language

31 January, 2020

31 January, 2020

A tourist visiting from Sydney’s Newtown has confounded the owner of a North Adelaide yiros shop by attempting to order...

OTR owners to install giant sun-blocking device over Adelaide

18 December, 2018

18 December, 2018

South Australia’s omnipotent overlords the Peregrine Corporation have proposed an eternal solution to guaranteeing demand for 24/7 convenience stores and...

Josh Frydenberg thanks Tammy from MyBudget for her assistance this week

3 April, 2019

3 April, 2019

Preparing the 2019-20 Federal Budget, Josh didn’t know where to start. ‘Bills were piling up on the kitchen table and...

Comments

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: